My Brother
by Gett
Summary: On his way to see Sam at Stanford, Dean is critically injured. Due to head injuries, Dean loses the ability to hide his feelings behind his usual walls. How will Dean cope without them and will he ever get them back? Pre season one.
1. Heading west

Warnings: This story has adult content. Rated for swearing and violence. Not a character death fiction.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Supernatural related. Most towns and other people are made up, any similarity to the living or dead are purely coincidental.

Any real towns, places or companies used are strictly for reference purposes only.

All music, lyrics, books and titles are by artists identified and belong to them.

Setting: Pre-season one.

Story outline: On his way to see Sam, Dean is critically injured. Due to head injuries, Dean loses the ability to hide his feelings behind his usual walls. How will Dean cope without them and will he ever get them back?

Author's notes: Unrelated to any other of my stories.

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

'Notations like this are someone's thoughts.'

**My Brother**

Chapter One- Heading West

Dean Winchester sipped from his coffee cup as his right hand guided his powerful steel beast west. He relaxed back in his seat as the early morning sun shone into the car warming the air and improving his mood. Dean was heading to California to see his brother for his birthday. He had been planning this day for over a month and it had finally arrived. His eyes fell on the bright green envelope sitting on the seat next to him. Sam's birthday card. Dean grinned as he thought of the gifts it contained. A five hundred dollar voucher to spend at the university bookstore and vouchers for almost thousand dollars worth of groceries from various stores in Sam's area.  
>'Sammy won't see this one coming.'<p>

Sam had been at Stanford since the previous September and Dean knew Sam wasn't wasting any of his limited funds on new books preferring to go with secondhand ones. He had called in at the campus a few times since Sam had been there and managed to observe without Sam knowing. Just to make sure his brother was doing okay. The grocery vouchers were because he thought his brother was looking a little skinny. Of course he had left cash for his brother a few times so Sam knew he was around. He knew Sam would expect to see him on his birthday no matter how strained things were between Sam and the rest of his family. Dean had decided enough was enough. The way things were going, he and Sam were going to be estranged and all for something deep down Dean agreed with. The fact that he had been tongue tied and torn between the two people he loved the most when Sam had argued with their dad and left still pissed him off. He didn't want to lose either of them and it had felt like he was being made to choose. Now Dean's relationship with his father was business only and with his baby brother hardly at all.  
>'I'm going to get us past it even if it kills me.'<p>

Dean had always made an extra effort for Sam's birthday and he wasn't going to let him down now. He had made sure his dad had known he was planning this trip a few weeks ago. Dean knew it was better to let John know in advance than springing a surprise on him. Dean had to let his dad know no one was going to stop him seeing Sam when this day rolled around every year. It wasn't like they were spending that much time together anyway. These days either Dean stayed back and cleaned up after a hunt while his dad moved on to do research for the next hunt or Dean went on ahead and started looking around. That's what had happened this time. Dean had stayed back and finished up a routine salt and burn the night before while John headed east to the next hunt. Dean was satisfied John was okay with him going as planned even if he didn't have anything he wanted Dean to give Sam.

Dean tossed the empty cup into a paper sack on the floor and reached over to turn up the music. He stopped for a late lunch, happy with the distance he had behind him. He changed in the men's room after a quick clean up, the best he could do for the time being. Hopefully Sam would let him use his shower if he was okay with him being there. Dean had a fleeting thought that Sam might have gathered enough friends to go out parting for the night but if he knew Sam like he thought he did he would be spending the night buried in study. Dean would make it his job to get Sam to have some fun for at least a couple of hours.

Dean lowered the Impalas driver side window and leaned a tight muscled arm along the sill as he drove. As he neared California, Dean was surprised to see clouds along the horizon. Not big black rain clouds or fluffy white Simpson's type clouds but somewhere in the middle. White and whippy like icing squeezed out of a piping bag with dashes of orange and grey through them. Dean sighed as he moved towards the west coast. On the plus side the clouds seemed to be all around him but not over him. Dean slipped his _Houses Of The Holy_ tape in the tape deck and _The Ocean_ steamed through the speakers. Dean chuckled and turned the music up as he pressed his foot down.

Just on dusk had Dean coming into the edges of Palo Alto. If he had Sam's schedule memorized, he should be getting out of his late afternoon class in the next half hour or so. He spotted a liquor store and pulled into the quiet parking lot. Sam's birthday called for a bottle of single barrel Jack's or one of the gold medal series bottles if they had it. Dean stepped out of the Impala and stretched his spine out as he stood by the car. He grabbed the nearest jacket out of the car and slipped it on. Dean pulled out his wallet and found the three hundred dollar notes he had been storing away and tucked them into his inside jacket pocket.  
>'We are going to have a fun night tonight, Sammy boy.'<p>

After his wallet was stashed away he locked the Impala up tight (he really didn't trust the neighborhood) and ambled inside. Dean had taken one step inside when he knew something wasn't right. He crouched down for the knife in his boot when he felt the cold metal of gun against his temple.

TBC

* * *

><p>Yeah a new story! Well not so new for me as it was completed some time ago. Did I mention this story is complete? We all know a comple story equals frequent updates. Yeah!-gett<p> 


	2. Alone as usual

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter Two Alone as usual

Sam Winchester stepped gently into his quiet, dark apartment. He flicked on a light and crouched as if he expected an attack. When none was apparent he straightened and moved though the small apartment to the one bedroom. He flicked on the bedroom light and was disappointed to find the nightstand empty. His shoulders slumped as the hope of his big brother being here tonight faded quickly.  
>'I should have known Dean would be too busy to show.'<p>

He had received a text message from Dean that morning wishing him a happy birthday but in all honesty he had been expecting his brother to show tonight. But there wasn't even a wad of cash like he had found a few times that could only have been Dean. Not even their dad could break in and leave without leaving any evidence behind. Sam sighed with disappointment as he made his way to the kitchen to grab a snack. He really wanted to catch up with his brother. Since he left for Stanford Sam had only seen Dean twice and it had been awkward tense conversations both times. From the little they had talked, Sam could tell his leaving had taken its toll on his older sibling. Dean had joked a lot less and been very quiet but would not discuss hunting at all like it was a forbidden subject.

Sam wanted to make amends for the way he had left which in the end had been a quick goodbye and a refusal of a ride to a bus station. Sam knew Dean was between a rock and a hard place with him. He was proud he had made his way in the world but unhappy with the way things ended with them. Deep down, Sam knew Dean would never abandon him. Sam's only problem with Dean was that he had not said anything during his last confrontation with their dad. He had expected Dean to at least have his side or a side. A couple of times on campus he had felt a presence he could only describe as Dean. It made him feel safe and secure even though try as he might he had never spotted him. They were brothers after all and if Sam had to fight to keep that he would.

Sam slumped down on the sofa and pulled his books out ready for another round of studying.  
>'Maybe Dean is just running late?'<br>He would hit the books for a while until he showed. Sam flicked on the TV and opened his first text book. A bunch of pages slid out onto the table.  
>'Curse second hand books, they should never be allowed.'<br>Not that he could afford new ones. His full ride had just been his tuition fees nothing else and his part time shelf filling job four nights week barely paid for the apartment. He sighed as he grabbed a roll of scotch tape and set about repairing the book. Again. As he taped Sam saw a news bulletin flash up on the screen. A liquor store not far from campus was being robbed at gun point.  
>'Not again.'<p>

There had been a few in the local area over the last few months and police were talking about doing more patrols and so forth.  
>'Didn't look like it was working.'<br>Sam looked up from his work to see a reporter standing well back from a police cordon. There was talk of hostages being taken and negotiations being held. He could just make out the lights of the police cars on the store. The regular program came back on and Sam decided on a coffee before he started. Once he was settled and had ordered a pizza (it was his birthday after all) Sam started back on his assignment.

During the next break for commercials there was another bulletin saying that the cops were about to break into the liquor store after shots had been fired. Sam saw a SWAT team crouching by the front door and at least two EMTs lights flashing along with the police lights.  
>'This isn't going to end well.'<br>Sam resumed his work stopping again when the pizza was delivered. As he sat back to enjoy his birthday dinner another news flash came on about the robbery. The police had the two known criminals in custody saying they had been subdued by a customer and a clerk. One customer had been shot and the two workers had concussion from hits to the head. One of the robbers had been stabbed and the other was shot.

The most serious injury was the customer who had been shot in the chest. Sam didn't think the reporter was completely sure of her facts as she said 'allegedly' a lot.  
>'She's saying a lot and nothing at the same time.'<br>Sam saw an EMT speed away as a stretcher was rolled into another. Sam flicked the set off and got down to work. Sam was disappointed as he slipped into bed after midnight. He had stayed up late in hopes Dean was just running late but to no avail.  
>'Why do I let myself get so upset when I should have expected it?'<br>Even so, Sam felt the first stirrings of unease as he rolled over and snuggled into his pillow. Dean had always made a fuss of these days when they were together and it was out of character for him just to forget. Sam remembered the text message; maybe Dean thought that would be enough.

When he woke in the morning there was no sign of Dean and he thought about sending a text or calling him but then decided against it. He had never wanted to be spoiled even when Dean insisted so he didn't want to act like a brat now.  
>'He is obviously way to busy to bother texting now.'<br>He went to his classes but felt troubled all day. He still felt like something was off as he went to his job that night. When he finished work for the night he decided it didn't matter if he looked like a spoiled kid he just wanted to know if Dean was all right. He sent a text and left his phone by the bed assuming a text from Dean would wake him when it came through.

He woke the next morning surprised to find the phone had not gone off during the night. He quickly showered and dressed just making it to his first class. Sam had a mountain of assignments piled onto him that day so his head was focused on his work all day. It wasn't until he finished work that night that he thought of Dean again.  
>'Maybe I should call dad and see if he knows where Dean is.'<br>He stopped himself as his thumb hovered over the speed dial number for his dad's phone then scrolled up to Dean's and hit the send button. Dean's voicemail picked up without ringing, meaning the phone was off or busy. Sam pondered for a few moments then sent Dean another text hoping Dean was just busy or out of range.

The next morning Sam decided if he hadn't heard from Dean by that night he would call his father. Sam left his phone at the apartment as he had neglected to charge it while he was waiting for Dean to contact him. After his classes Sam dropped home to pick up his phone before going off to work. He was surprised to find four missed calls all of them his dads' number.  
>'What the hell?'<br>He was about to give him a call when the phone rang in his hand.

TBC


	3. Where are you?

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter three Where are you?

John Winchester pushed himself back in his chair and stretched his back with a crackle. He rubbed a hand across his eyes as he got up to make yet another cup of coffee. He had finally gotten all the research for his current hunt done after spending hours looking through reports and putting patterns together. The worst thing was, Dean had told him what this was before John had even set foot in town. A Quanlier. Supposedly a Cherokee legend which has the head of a wolf, the torso of a man, the arms of a dog and the legs of a jackal. It feeds on human flesh and most small animals. Dean had picked it from the animal bites going around and the speed of the attacks since the legend said it could run at 300 miles per hour.

He had to admit Dean was proving himself to be an exceptional and natural hunter.  
>'Not that I would say that to his face. Wouldn't want him to get a big head.'<br>He had even relaxed the reins and let Dean start and finish hunts on his own. Pretty soon Dean would be off doing his own hunts and they would hardly see each other.  
>'Not that it would worry Dean.'<br>He hadn't spoken to John other than about hunts and going to see Sam since Sam had left last year. The three weeks after Sam left had been a blur of bars and hunts. He didn't even know what Dean got up to during that time but he must have been around because John had found himself in bed a many times not knowing how he got there.

Speaking of which, where was his first born? Dean should have been back the day before. John checked his watch and calculated how long it had been since Dean had called him. He had said he would call him from Sam's when he got there but he hadn't heard anything since the night before Sam's birthday. He had called John and told him the salt and burn was done and he was heading for California after catching some sleep. John hadn't been happy with Dean taking off to see Sam but he knew it had been coming. Dean had been dropping hints for over a month and if he had to be honest he knew Dean would never miss his brother's birthday. He never had when they grew up and he had nagged John to remember as well. Hell, Dean even remembered John's birthday and his mothers.

John called Dean's phone and was annoyed to get voicemail. He sighed and went to his wallet trying to remember what ID and credit cards Dean was using. He thought he was using an ID that actually matched his credit card for once.  
>'A modern miracle.'<br>If it came to that John could track Dean down through credit card receipts but he wanted to give Dean a chance to turn up. He could have just been sidetracked; Dean seemed to have the attention span of a four year old sometimes. John doubted Dean would get sidetracked on the way to see his brother though. John remembered that Dean had driven straight from a hunt for fifteen hours just to drop a Christmas present at Sam's place. He hadn't even talked to him that John knew of. But he did know that Dean had three broken ribs at the time and had to have been in a fair amount of pain as he drove. He had ended up in the hospital for a few days after he had left California.  
>'Damn stubborn jackass. Just like his little brother.'<p>

John decided he had better call Sam and see if he had seen Dean. Maybe they had got drinking and forgot the time.  
>'For two days.'<br>John hit the speed dial for Sam and heard it ring a few times before being picked up by Sam's voice mail. John felt his emotions well up as he heard Sam's voice for the first time in months. He hung up before the beep came on and tried Dean's phone again. Three hours later with no response from either of his sons he was beginning to get annoyed.  
>'They wouldn't just turn off their phones on purpose would they?'<p>

Just as John was begin to think he was going to have to go to California Sam's phone finally picked up. He drew in a steadying breath with his finger across the speaker before he spoke to his son for the first time in months.

TBC


	4. I know you are out there

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter four I know you are out there.

Sam raised the phone to his ear.  
>"Dad?"<br>"Sam. Is Dean there with you?"  
>'Nice to hear from you too dad.'<br>Always straight to point was John.  
>"No, I haven't seen him."<br>"He was headed your way three days ago. He was meant to meet up with me but he hasn't shown." Sam's hairs suddenly stood up along the back of his neck.  
>'He had been coming here.'<br>"No. I had a text from him the other day but that's all. Do you need help to track him?" Sam asked.  
>"No. It's probably nothing, got sidetracked and shacked up with some girl. I know the card he is using. I will find out where he used it last."<br>"Dad?"  
>"Yeah."<br>"Let me know, okay? Please, I'm worried about him."

Sam heard a sigh on the line like John was thinking about whether to include Sam or not.  
>'Don't you dare shut me out of this you bastard.'<br>"Please? I need to know."  
>"Okay Sam. I will call as soon as I know anything."<br>"I'll keep my phone with me. Call anytime."  
>Sam knew Dean wouldn't get sidetracked with some girl when it came to Sam's birthday. He knew his dad couldn't really believe that either, he was just trying to stop him from worrying.<p>

Sam went to work but remained on edge all night, frequently checking his phone to make sure it was working. He went home and went straight to bed, feeling wrung out emotionally having worried about his brother all night. John calling had amped up his worry by two hundred percent. At least the next day was Saturday and he was free except for some studying over the weekend.

Sam woke early the next morning to the phone ringing on the nightstand. He picked it up quickly and saw his dad's name on the display not Dean's as he had hoped.  
>"Yeah dad?"<br>"I've tracked your brother to a gas station just outside San Francisco at four pm on the second."  
>"So he should have been here at eight or so," Sam said slowly.<br>"Maybe he stopped for food or met someone."  
>"Hmm." Sam was thinking hard. It wasn't like Dean to be out of contact for so long. "Give me the address of the fill up place and I will check motels between here and there."<br>John relayed the information and Sam took it down.  
>"If I find anything I will let you know."<br>"Thanks Sam."

Sam was taken aback for a second by his dad thanking him. He said goodbye then he jumped up and showed and dressed. He dressed in his dress shirt and jeans taking a jacket with him not knowing what he would be doing in the next few hours. Sam went downstairs and talked to the guy on the first floor, Mark, who he was on friendly terms with. Mark let Sam borrow his beat up Ford Taurus. Sam drove out to the gas station Dean had been to and filled up Mark's car. He looked at his map and worked out the route Dean would have taken. He drove back towards his place slowing down as he passed motels looking for the Impala. He was just speeding up after slowing down from looking at the parking lot of his fifth motel when he saw the Impala in the parking lot of a liquor store. Sam's heart sped up as he drove over and parked next to it making sure it was okay.

As he looked up at the store he felt surprised that it looked vaguely familiar even thought he was sure he had never been here before. Sam picked the lock, opened the door of the Impala and slipped behind the wheel. There was Dean's phone plugged into the car charger. Sam frowned in puzzlement then found the envelope on the passenger seat. It had his name on the front so he opened it to find a card and vouchers for the college bookstore and food stores. Sam sighed long and low. Dean was defiantly on his way to see him, but why stop here?

Sam looked out at the store again and suddenly remembered where he knew the store from.  
>'Damn, the robbery a few nights ago.'<br>The night he was waiting for Dean to be more precise. Sam's heart suddenly sped up in his chest again.  
>'Had Dean been in the store that night? Had he been the one shot?'<br>Sam hoped not. He looked through Dean's photo IDs in the glove box looking for one that he could get away with. A state police ID that Dean had used a blurry picture might do. He put on his jacket and went to the store. Sam approached the guy behind the counter in the otherwise deserted store. He flashed the ID quickly.  
>"Good morning. I was hoping to talk to someone about the robbery, on the second?"<br>"Well I'm the manager, Steve, Steve Cartell. I wasn't here at the time but the two clerks who were have quit since then. What can I help you with?"  
>"We are looking into witness statements just to make sure they all match up. We want to put those guys away for a good long time if we can."<br>"Did you look at the tape we gave the detectives?"  
>"The locals have it locked up while they process them. We haven't had a chance to have a look at it yet."<br>'How did Dean do this so easily?'

He was starting to sweat buckets.  
>"I can let you see the original if you want to look at it, since you're a cop and all."<br>Sam raised an eyebrow in surprise.  
>"We record everything live on those cameras. Then every night it gets backed up to a storage facility off site. The owner's son is a computer nerd and knows all this stuff. He is also super vigilant with security, thank god. That's how the cops got here so quickly that night. Silent alarm gets tripped when the door is locked during opening times without authorization and the one on the cash register when they pulled the draw all the way out. We train the staff not to do that so if it's pulled out we know something's up. They knew enough about cash system to know they would have to wait fifteen minutes for the time delayed draw to open but not enough to stop getting caught. It's just bad that a guy got shot. Unfortunately everyone in the store saw that happen. He was a hero alright. Saved one of my staff members for sure. Of course he won't work here again, not that I blame him. It's going to be very difficult to get people to work here after that."<p>

Steve drew a breath.  
>"Sorry I'm babbling. Cops make me nervous. Don't know why, I've never even got a parking ticket." Sam smiled in what he hoped was sympathy. In truth his heart was in his throat as he got closer to discovering the truth.<br>"Just let me call John, the owner. He can set the tape up on the computer in the office for you."  
>'Since you are offering.'<br>While Sam waited he wandered around the store. On the floor next to the beer fridge was a blood stain. Sam crouched down and looked at the bottom of the metal door to find the shiny metal edge dented in. Sam splayed his hand across the dent. It looked about the size of a man's head.  
>'Something happened here.'<p>

He looked further around the edge and found a small hole on the doorframe low down. Bullet hole, someone was shot here. Sam looked around further and found another bloodstain on the floor near the snack food stand. All the blood looked thoroughly scrubbed and light but Sam knew blood stains a mile away and spotted two more near the checkout. Steve came out and led Sam to the small back office which overlooked the empty equally as small staff room. Steve guided Sam to the only chair and showed him how the tape player worked. Steve left Sam to it when he was happy Sam knew what he was doing. Sam grabbed the mouse and took a big breath hoping to prepare himself for what he was about to see.

TBC


	5. Always the hero

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter five Always the hero

Sam squinted at the computer screen. Even though the media player for the video was taking up the whole screen it was divided into four smaller pictures. Four screens for four cameras. The first camera showed the front door from square on, the second the register area, the third from the register down the store, and the fourth from the back to the front. Once Steve made sure Sam was set up he left him to it. Sam pressed play and watched the action unfold in grainy black and white. He watched as the bandits came into the store both armed with pistols. The shorter one held the older clerk at bay while the other taller guy rounded the customers up and made them sit in front of the beer fridge. Two men and a woman. No Dean from what he could see. A younger man was pulled out of the beer fridge and held around the neck by bandit number two. By the apron and badge Sam assumed him to be the second clerk.

The other robber was making the older clerk pull cash draw out of the till while the other guy made the customers and younger clerk empty their pockets. They had a plastic bag for the cash, wallets and jewellery which they left on the counter. Bad guy one forced the older clerk to do something with the register then made him lay down on the floor. The robber then looked up suddenly and ran to the front door. The door opened and Sam's heart sank as he recognized Dean's stance, build and presence as he stepped inside then went immediately into a crouch. The robber stepped out from behind the door and pressed his gun to the side of his head and made him stand up.  
>'Oh shit, Dean.'<p>

Dean stood slowly, dropping the knife he was going for, and Sam knew by his posture he was deciding whether it was safe to take this guy out without causing damage to any hostages. Dean's eyes must have found the hostages because he put his hands up very slowly. It must not have been fast enough because the man belted Dean in the head with the side of his gun.  
>'God damn.'<p>

Sam winced even though the incident took place days before. Dean pulled his head away by instinct and the guy jumped forward and belted Dean again and again even though he had his hands up. It must have been like hitting a brick wall because Dean barely reacted to the hits Sam knew would take a normal guy down in one. Sam could see Dean's only tell because he knew him so well. His hands had curled into fists above his head and Sam knew he was using all his restraint not to attack them back.

The guy pushed Dean toward the other hostages but before he pushed Dean to the floor he pulled the pistol back and hit Dean twice more on the side of the head.  
>'Son of a bitch! Fuck, Dean smack him one back!'<br>The guy must have sensed Dean was trouble and was getting in first. When Dean was shoved down to the floor Sam could see blood running down his face even in monochrome. He was made to put his hands on his head like the rest of the hostages. Sam could see now Dean had a light colored T shirt underneath his dark jacket. Most probably the grey one Sam bought him for his birthday a few years ago and tended to wear when it was Sam's birthday or a special occasion, even though it was just a T shirt.

The robber went back to the front doors and locked them just as lights flooded the doorway. He ran behind the till and pulled the older guy back up using him as a shield as he checked his watch and the register. Nothing happened for about five minutes except the hostages wriggled closer together. The first bandit picked up the stores phone and made wild hand gestures while he spoke.

Another ten minutes went by with the only differences being more lights showing through the glass front of the store. The shorter guy finally emptied another cash drawer and they looked like they were gearing up to leave. The front door suddenly shuddered like force had been applied and there was a sudden whirl of activity. The young clerk that was still being manhandled by the taller of the two thieves's suddenly started struggling for his freedom. He got lose after biting the man on the arm but the bandit tracked him with his hand gun yelling at him. The kid ran straight at Dean then Dean was suddenly shielding the kid.

There was a flash as the gun went off but Sam couldn't see who got hit. Sam noted where the bullets would have gone. One hole he had already found. The guy shot again then moved forward fast pulling Dean off the kid. Dean scrabbled back in front of the kid before he could raise the gun again so the guy stepped up and started kicking Dean. He put his hands on the door of the beer fridge pointing the gun down at him and put everything he had into booting the hell out of him. Sam's eyes watered as he saw the big boot pound into Dean's head smashing him back into the bottom edge of the door behind him.  
>'Now Dean! You have my permission to nail this asshole,' Sam mentally yelled to Dean.<p>

Sam felt sick at the sudden realization of how those dents got in the metal door of the beer fridge. Dean's head. Sam saw Dean slump down and knew he was beaten badly but then the guy kicked down hard on Dean's right arm several times. Sam saw the hostages including the clerk were all horror struck with their hands over their faces. Suddenly Dean's left hand flashed up to the guy's thigh as he pulled his leg back for another strike. The guy jumped off Dean as if he was on fire clutching at his left thigh. Sam could see a knife sticking out of his leg.

Thankfully Dean had been armed with an extra knife. The gun had fallen into Dean's open left hand.  
>'Yes!'<br>Dean pushed himself up into a crouch as the glass on the front door shattered in. Dean staggered as he rose pushing up on his left arm. His right was hanging fairly uselessly by his side making Sam gulp at how badly it was injured if Dean couldn't raise it. The shorter robber looked up from the cash register at Dean and raised his gun but Dean fired once getting the guy in the hand. He dropped his gun clutching his hand and rolling on the ground in agony. Sam was impressed with Dean's shot. He knew he was a great shot with both hands but he was under extreme duress having been shot himself and had blood obscuring his vision. Dean stood slowly and staggered the few steps to the gun the bandit had dropped and kicked it away under racks of wine. Sam saw Dean bring his hand up to his head to wipe sweat and blood off his brow as he looked at the bandits who had both passed out on the floor.

Dean turned back towards the hostages holding the gun to his chest with his left hand. Sam saw the magazine then the gun fall out of Dean's hand to the floor as he leaned hard against the snack display. Dean then sank slowly to the ground. Once horizontal on his side Dean's left hand appeared next to his head. He moved his head to the left and made a circle motion next to it on the floor before touching his forehead deliberately with his index finger then brought the hand down slightly palm up, fingers facing forward. He touched his index finger to the floor twice next to his chest. Sam's heart leapt at the message only he would know.  
>'Sorry Brother."<p>

It was one of the signs he and Dean had developed out of the military sign language their dad had been trying to teach them when Sam was fourteen. He and Dean had made a few different signs up for when they were out on a hunt and couldn't say much. The one Dean had used was what they used for saying sorry to each other when they got the blame for something they hadn't done. Sam knew Dean was trying to say sorry for not making it to his birthday. For Dean to be doing it for Sam must mean it felt like he might not make it. If it was possible Sam's heart dropped even further.  
>'I'm coming Dean.'<p>

TBC


	6. My brother

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter six My brother

Sam felt like yelling at the screen to get the EMTs to hurry and get to his brother. The police came in first and secured the area one of them finally rolling Dean over. Sam could now see it had been defintley Dean that had been shot. His dark jacket had been hiding the blood but now the police officer pulled the jacket back and revealed Dean's very bloody chest. Sam had to look down as the flurry of activity on all cameras showed Dean being rendered aid by paramedics as well as the others receiving treatment. Dean was the first to be taken from the room on a stretcher as the remaining police and paramedics started loading up the rest. Sam was happy to see the criminals were handcuffed even though they were injured and were being treated rather roughly by the cops.

Sam stopped the tape and got up with a sigh. He found Steve just finishing up with a customer. As he waited his eyes drifted to the dent in the fridge door.  
>"Hey there, officer. Get everything you need?"<br>"Do you happen to know which hospital the victims were taken to?"  
>Sam knew they were close to three hospitals and didn't want to waste more time chasing them down. Steve looked thoughtful.<br>"Actually no but Jim will know, here is his number. The guy who was stacking beer in the fridge? He had head injuries from being hit with one of the guns. Those guys whacked everybody around a bit."

Steve looked upset over the whole thing so Sam thanked him for his time and went out to the Impala. Sam made sure it was locked up tight and sat in the borrowed Taurus. He called Jim's number.  
>"Hello?"<br>"Hello is this Jim Clark?"  
>"Yeah it is. Who is this?"<br>"I was given your number by your-ex boss Steve Cartell. I'm Sam…"  
>"Michelson, David's brother right?" The young sounding voice interrupted.<br>"How do you know…?"

Sam was glad Dean always kept only one ID at time on his person. Something his dad didn't care about but it had proven Dean right this time,"I rode with David in the ambulance. He was asking for Sammy. When we got to the hospital I heard them ask him if they could call his next of kin and he kept saying Sammy over and over before he passed out."  
>'He was asking for me and I wasn't there for him. Hang on he was asking for me?'<br>"I didn't see him for over a day after that. Man he's brave, your brother, I owe him so much. He saved my life you know and probably everyone else in the store that night. Those guys were coked to the eyeballs. I'm real sorry what happened to David. How is he doing?"

Sam took a steadying breath in.  
>"Actually I just found out what happened. I just called to find out what hospital he was taken to." "Shit man, I'm sorry. Here I am babbling on. Mercy General, Sam. He's in Mercy General. He was doing okay when I called last night. Well alright considering."<br>"You called last night?"  
>"Yeah to check up on him. I'm going down to see him this afternoon during visiting hours with my mom. She's a regular churchgoer and thinks David was sent to save me and those people." Jim sounded a little embarrassed.<br>"Okay, well thanks for helping me Jim."  
>"You're welcome Sam. If there is anything we can do for your brother just let us know."<br>"Thanks."

Sam already had the car started as he hung up from talking to Jim and raced to the hospital as fast as just over the speed limit would allow. Sam parked the Taurus as close as he could and jogged to the administration desk.  
>"David Michelson, please."<br>"Third floor ward four E. Speak to a nurse at the desk for his room number."  
>"Thanks."<br>Sam took the elevator up to the third floor with his heart still racing in his chest. At the aforementioned desk he spoke to a nurse who's name badge said Jacqueline.  
>"You're a relative of David's?"<br>"His brother Sam, yes."  
>"Ah Sammy," Jacqueline smiled, "he has asked for you more than a few times."<br>"He's awake?"

She motioned for Sam to follow her.  
>"He is on a lot of drugs for the pain so he's in and out a fair bit. Mainly out I'm afraid. When he is awake he is barley coherent. He hasn't opened his eyes as yet if you are worried."<br>Jacqueline felt pity for the tall handsome man who seemed wrung out with worry.  
>"Have you spoken to his Doctor?"<br>"No I just found out he was here."  
>Jacqueline pushed the door open to a small room with just one bed in it.<p>

Sam walked to the bed slowly and looked down on his brother. He looked impossibly small amongst the tubes and wires. The sheet coved him from the navel down. There was a large bandage above his navel slightly to the left and another on his left shoulder. His right arm rested on a pillow enveloped in a blue cast. Dean's face had cuts and nicks all over and there was another large bandage on one side of his head. Sam couldn't help but notice how sharply Dean's bones and muscles stuck out.  
>'Surely he couldn't have lost that much weight in three days."<p>

He felt his knees start to give and felt a hard chair stop him from falling to the floor. This throat choked up as he realized Dean had been lying here alone for three days. Jacqueline patted Sam's shoulder gently.  
>"I will let the doctor know you're here. He will want to talk to you."<br>Sam felt his hands shake uncontrollably as he picked up Dean's left hand. He squeezed it softly and was surprised to feel a small squeeze back.  
>"Dean? Hey, big brother. I found you. I'm here for you now."<br>"Smmy" slurred Dean softly hardly opening his mouth. Sam squeezed Dean's hand slightly harder. "I've got you my brother. Just rest."

TBC

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><p>Yeah the brothers are reunited!<p>

Okay who loved the double eposide for the end of the season? Still dont know about cas and all that power. Any ideas what will happen ep 1 next season?- gett.


	7. He was here right?

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter seven He was here, right?

Out of all the ways he thought he would next meet up with his brother this would have to be way down the bottom if it appeared at all. Shot by a raging psychopath during a robbery. Sam knew he should call their dad and let him know that he had found Dean but he decided to wait until he saw the Doctor before doing that. He only had to wait an hour before the Doctor turned up and gave Sam the rundown of Dean's condition.

"We are most worried about the head injuries of course," explained Dr. Marshall after introducing himself. "David has a fractured skull that has caused a lesion on his brain. With the swelling, we are quite concerned about damage. Unfortunately due to the blood loss and the amount of injuries, we lost David on the table for a few seconds and this may add to any injuries already in the brain. Dr. Alcot, our chief neurologist, has been in to have a look at him and has run some tests. He will be back in the morning with the results."

Sam nodded his assent that he would be there for that, even though he was still frowning over Dean being lost on the table.  
>"The bullet that entered his lower abdomen grazed his spine on the way out. The spine is swollen between the disks 23 and 24. We will know more once David is more alert. At the moment, he is too heavily sedated to know what works and what doesn't."<br>"Do you think he will be paralyzed?" Sam asked urgently.

"It's too early to be making predictions. I can only say he is doing well for someone who has the amount of injuries he has. The other bullet was in the shoulder and the broken arm…" Doctor Marshall took a deep breath. "Most people would give up with that many injuries. David has the full respect of the staff here at how well he is doing. He is very tough, I'm sure he will be up and around quickly."  
>'Dean isn't most people that's for sure.'<br>Sam thanked the man and went back to Dean's bedside for a moment explaining to his brother, even though he was unconscious, he was going to call their dad and promising to be back quickly.

Sam made the call outside the side door of the hospital, surprised and relieved when he answered on the first ring.  
>"Dad, I found Dean. He was shot in a hold up of a liquor store."<br>"What? Is he okay?"  
>"Actually, no. He has spine damage and brain damage."<br>"How many times was he shot?"  
>"Twice. In the shoulder and lower abdomen. One of the guys stomped on him until he broke his arm and kicked him in the head so hard it dented the metal door behind him."<br>"And Dean just let it happen?"  
>"No, he took the two guys down. There were hostages, dad."<p>

Sam could feel his temper rising after only a couple of minutes on the phone with the man.  
>"What the hell was he doing in there?"<br>"I don't know. Maybe Dean can tell us when he wakes up."  
>"He's in a coma?"<br>"No, he's not even on life support just oxygen. According to the nurses he has woken a few times. The doctor said he is on lots of drugs so it will be awhile before they know his exact condition. I will be seeing the neurologist in the morning."  
>Sam heard John take a big breath and let it out.<br>"Okay Sam you did good. What hospital is he at?"  
>"You coming down?"<br>"Yeah I can be there in the morning if I take off now."

Sam was surprised John was just up and leaving in the middle of a hunt. He relayed the information, trying to keep the surprise out of his voice. Sam signed off, thinking he may have been too harsh on his father; of course he would want to be there for his son. Sam sat by Dean's left hand for the reminder of the day, getting information from the nurses as to what Dean had been going through on his own. He really hadn't been very aware the few times he had woken, making Sam feel a slightly better about him waking alone, but no less guilty. Dean struggled to a slight state of consciousness twice and Sam soothed and talked to him which seemed to help.

He got to meet Jim and his mother and excused himself to grab some food when Jim's mother bowed her head in prayer. Sam didn't have a problem with the woman praying for Dean but felt awkward as he didn't know the woman. Sam was shown the door at the end of visiting hours; the nurses letting Sam know 'David' needed his rest. Sam took the Taurus back to his neighbor, then walked back to the liquor store and drove the Impala home. He had an uneasy night's sleep, wanting to be back at Dean's side. He arrived with a bag of books to keep him busy right at the start of visiting hours the next morning.

Sam opened Dean's door to see a figure standing looking down at his brother. Dad. John looked travel worn even from the back. Sam faltered on the threshold not wanting to break the private moment between the two of them and not wanting to talk to his dad full stop. He took a deep breath making to go in but just as he did Dean's doctor approached him.  
>"Sam, isn't it?"<br>"Yes."  
>"I have Doctor Alcot here who wants to talk to you about you brother's condition."<br>Sam didn't even think about including his dad on the conversation. He knew his dad always had what he called an angry attitude and might make the doctor uncomfortable. He followed Doctor Marshall to the nurse's desk. Dr Marshall introduced Sam to an older, shorter man holding a stack of folders under an arm.

They shook hands as the introductions were made.  
>"As Dr Marshall has no doubt told you, we are concerned about the impact David has had on the right side of his skull level with his ear. We are concerned about the swelling and damage affecting his temporal lobe. Now, temporal lobes allow a person to tell one smell from another and one sound from another. They also help in sorting new information and are believed to be responsible for short-term memory."<p>

Sam nodded his understanding.  
>"The right lobe is mainly involved in visual memory. Memory for pictures and faces. After the tests we have run so far I would be surprised if David suffered to badly. He may have trouble hearing at first and a little trouble with short term memory."<br>"How short term?"  
>"That's the hard part. We won't know until he is weaned off the pain medication and is more alert."<br>"So it's wait and see?"  
>'Just like his legs. What is it with these doctors?'<br>"And more tests."

Sam thanked the doctor for his time and went back to Dean's room. Sam expected to have to explain to John what was going on with his eldest but was surprised to find the room empty. Sam looked in the small bathroom and found that empty as well. He shrugged his shoulders and took the seat next to Dean's left arm again feeling like he had dodged a bullet.  
>'Well he probably went for coffee after driving all night' thought Sam as he settled at Dean's side. Sam was tense waiting for John to return for an hour holding Dean's hand.<p>

Finally Jacqueline came in to check up on his brother and Sam had to make sure he hadn't imagined him.  
>"Excuse me. Was there an older guy here earlier?"<br>"David's father?"  
>Sam nodded.<br>"He fixed up David's insurance and said he would be back later."  
>"Okay thanks."<br>Sam couldn't help his frown.

TBC


	8. Welcome back

A big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review! I have tried to get back to everyone but some people dont have thier pm funtion on so thanks to you if I havent been able to reply to you.

Its great to see all the story alerts and favorites coming in for this story. I have been taken by surprise by how many readers have given it a look so thanks again!

* * *

><p>Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1<p>

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter eight Welcome back

Sam spent the rest of the day with his left hand in Dean's left as he worked though his assignments. He was glad he had been working hard lately and was actually ahead of where he needed to be. Dean came up for very short spots of consciousness but beyond slurring Sam's name he dipped back down quickly. Sam was happy Dean was remembering him but a little concerned he never called out for their dad. After all he had been living with him alone for the last few months.

Sam had to go to school on Monday but he caught up with all his professors and got all assignments that he needed to work on for the next few days. They were all fairly concerned about his brother and most offered him time if he needed it. He had two weeks to the end of term after which he would have a month off before getting back into work again. His job was another matter. He needed the work just to pay his rent so he went in only as often as he really had to. By Thursday, Sam was into the routine of getting as much school work done next to Dean as he could, working and getting a few quick hours of sleep before starting again. He was worried at how long it was taking Dean to wake up, but the doctors reassured him that with his catalogue of injuries he was doing well. On Friday morning, he went back to school and handed in what he had done and got the rest of his work for the term. He arrived at Dean's bedside just before lunch with sandwiches and coffee at hand.

Sam had just started on his next due assignment when a stronger squeeze from Dean's hand got his attention. Sam looked over to see Dean blinking quickly against the room lights. Sam stood and turned the main room lights off leaving just a soft fluorescent strip behind the bed. Dean nodded his head slowly. Sam sat next to Dean's hip and picked up his hand sensing he was more alert than he had been before.  
>"Hey Dean. How are you feeling?"<br>Sam smoothed a hand through Dean's hair, a habit he had picked up in the last few days. Dean's eyes bored into Sam's with a slight frown. Sam squirmed slightly under the intensity of the stare. No doubt Dean was about to ask what the hell _he_ was doing here.  
>"Sammy?" Dean said roughly sounding very unsure of himself and squinting at Sam like he didn't recognize him.<p>

Sam stood and poured a cupful of water and helped Dean take a few short sips. It looked like he was swallowing with great difficulty.  
>"Yeah, it's me Dean. Welcome back."<br>Dean looked around slowly.  
>"Where have I been?" he croaked.<br>Sam raised the bed a little and fussed with the pillows.  
>"What do you remember?"<br>Dean frowned in thought.  
>"Nothing."<br>Sam sat back next to Dean's hip.  
>"Nothing at all?"<br>"Nuh. Is dad okay? It was a hunt right? Did I save his ass again?"

Dean gave Sam a small smile even though his voice was raspy with disuse.  
>"Actually you were on your way to see me, for my birthday."<br>Dean frowned.  
>"My nineteenth was a week ago."<br>"Nineteen?" Dean looked shocked.  
>"Yeah. You don't remember?"<br>"I was wondering why you were so gigantic. Nineteen you sure? That would make me …"  
>"Twenty three dude."<br>"So it's …two thousand …"  
>"…and two." Sam supplied.<p>

Dean looked dumfounded. He looked away from Sam, who he had been staring at since he woke, and looked down at his bare chest. When Dean looked back, Sam saw Dean's eyes were bright with tears.  
>"Shit. Did I get hit in the head or somethin'?"<br>"Yeah Dean. Several times. The doctor says you might have some short term memory loss because you were hit in the temporal lobe."  
>'<em>Short term my ass.'<br>_"Huh. But it will come back right?"  
>Dean's hand went up and rubbed at his right ear as he frowned.<br>"I don't know. We should talk to the Doctor. I think he wants to run some tests on you."  
>Sam tried to reassure Dean even as his own worry was increasing. He didn't think short term memory loss was years.<br>"But short term is just a few days isn't it?"

Dean had just voiced Sam's thoughts. At least that hadn't changed. Sam always wondered how Dean did it. He guessed being his older brother meant he knew him better than he knew himself.  
>"I don t know Dean. The doctor will be able to tell us more."<br>_'I hope.'  
><em>Dean's eyes were starting to droop with tiredness already as he now rubbed at his temple indicating a headache.  
>"Get some rest Dean."<br>"Okay. Thanks Sammy."  
>Dean fell back to sleep within seconds of closing his eyes. Sam sighed deeply and sat back down on the chair still holding Dean's hand.<p>

Sam was glad Dean hadn't asked too many questions about where their dad was. Sam was wondering that about that himself. If it wasn't for the nurse seeing him on Monday as well, Sam would have thought he had made it up. Sam had called his dad's phone several times since then but had no response. He was angry and pissed off that John had just checked on Dean and left. He hoped he would be back to help Dean with his recovery as it looked to Sam like it might be less than straight forward. Sam was going to try to be there for Dean but he had school to think about as well and he knew Dean would not want him missing school because of him. All things to think about when he went home that night for some very restless sleep.

Sam spent the next two days with Dean, who was spending more time awake as the weekend progressed. He only asked about John once to which Sam replied that he had been there and was meant to be coming back. It seemed to satisfy Dean enough to leave it alone. Sam talked with Dean whenever he could to try to get a fix when Dean's last memory was. By Sunday night Sam figured Dean could not remember the last five or six years which was going to prove painful when he had to explain that he was on his own now. Sam tried to get the nurses to contact Dean's neurologist but it seemed he was away for the weekend.

TBC


	9. Missing time

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story**

Chapter nine Missing time

Monday morning, Sam went back to school to hand in work he had done over the weekend. When he returned to the hospital, Dean had been taken away for tests. Sam worked at Dean's empty bedside for almost two hours before he was back. When he was wheeled back in, Dean was out like a light for two hours before he woke up again.  
>"Hey Sammy."<br>Sam could see the tiredness coming off Dean in waves.  
>'<em>Poor guy looks exhausted even with all the sleep he had been getting.'<br>_"Hey Dean. How did the tests go?"  
>"That Doctor didn't talk to you?" Dean frowned as he rubbed his ear again.<br>"No. No one's said very much lately."  
>"Well I'm going to be having a little trouble walking for a bit. Something to do with a bullet?"<br>"You still don't remember?  
>"No, but it must have been bad 'cause the doctor won't say anything except '<em>do you know how you got here?'"<br>_"What about your memory?"  
>"Can't remember much from the last few years."<p>

Sam put Dean's last memory at about sixteen or seventeen. Not short term like the doctor had first suggested.  
>"Did they say it will come back?"<br>"Yeah. Doc says I just need to give myself some time."  
>Sam nodded.<br>"Rehab for my legs starts tomorrow. Don't be around for that." Dean shook his broken arm at Sam.  
>"What do you mean?"<br>"Learning to walk again with a broken arm plus you should get back to school, Sammy. Can't miss too much."  
>"You know I'm still at school?"<br>"I'm no rocket scientist but the books are a dead giveaway."  
>'<em>Nothing gets by Dean, even now.'<br>_"You're not mad?"  
>"Why the hell should I be?"<br>"Well, I left you and dad."

Dean frowned as he spoke. "You are doing what you have to Sammy. Don't feel guilty about that."  
>Sam looked suitably surprised at Dean's statement. It was so far from the way he thought Dean felt about it and the opposite to the way their father did. Still, Dean had never discussed the way he felt so openly and Sam felt a stirring of unrest.<br>"So what's the deal with the bullet? What happened to me Sammy?"  
>Sam looked away.<br>'_Here it comes.'  
><em>Dean reached for Sam's forearm, gripping it tight so Sam couldn't get away if he wanted to.  
>"Please tell me. It's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time. Everyone treating me like I'm royalty or somethin'. It's freaking me out," Dean breathed a laugh.<br>Sam took a big breath in wishing their dad was here helping with this.  
>"Dean when you were coming to see me you stopped at a liquor store."<p>

Dean looked at Sam expecting him to go on. Sam saw no recognition in Dean's eyes so he continued.  
>"The store was being held up by two guys. You were shot twice and hit in the head and arm before you stabbed one guy and shot the other."<br>"Was there anyone else in the store?"  
>The part of Dean that always thought about others first was still there Sam noticed.<br>"Three customers and two clerks. You saved one of the clerk's lives for sure. That's how you got shot."  
>"Are they all okay?"<br>'_Always thinking of others.'  
><em>"Yeah. No one else was hurt thanks to you, Dean. Well, except the robbers. You stabbed one in the leg and shot the other in the hand. Better than they deserved."

Dean took a moment to process the information and Sam noticed tears in his eyes again.  
>"Sorry Sammy."<br>"Sorry for what?"  
>"Missing your birthday. I've never done that."<br>Sam marveled how Dean picked that out of the conversation and that a single tear ran down Dean's face.  
>'<em>Dean Winchester crying over a missed birthday? I am going to have to talk to his doctor again and get them to back the drugs off.'<br>_Sam thumbed the tear away then pulled him into a short hug.  
>"No you never have Dean. And you didn't this time either."<br>Sam leaned back with a smile and pulled the card out of his inside jacket pocket.  
>"I found this in the Impala."<p>

Dean looked at the gift certificates noting the one for the Stanford bookstore.  
>"What did you say about the Impala?"<br>"It was in the parking lot of the liquor store."  
>"Is she okay? Dad will kill me."<br>"It's okay Dean. The Impala's yours now, dad has his own truck."  
>"Mine? Cool." Dean cracked the first genuine smile since he woke up. "Hey speaking of Dad has he called or anything?"<br>Sam knew he was about to burst Dean's bubble.  
>"No not since he dropped by then left. Here you should check your phone just incase."<br>Sam handed Dean his phone.  
>"This is <em>my<em> phone? Its freaking tiny."  
>"Oh yeah. Sorry they have come a long way since ninety five."<br>"No kidding. What do I do?"

Sam showed Dean how to use the phone, noticing there was a few missed calls from their Dad all during the time he was missing. Sam showed Dean how to get his messages, then look at text messages. Instead of being upset at the fact their Dad had not called since his accident Dean seemed to be enthralled at the technology.  
>"I can't believe I have my own phone. What's this like a thousand dollars' worth?"<br>"Nuh , they're pretty cheap these days."  
>Sam looked at Dean's amazed face.<br>"Hey Dean?"  
>"Yeah?"<br>Sam wanted to break this subject open while Dean was feeling all right.  
>"You are going to need a few weeks to recover and get better when you get out of here and I've been thinking. Come stay at my place. It's small, but I would really love to have you."<br>"Wouldn't it be putting you out? Do you have a roommate or girlfriend or somethin'? Wouldn't it be on campus? I don't want to disturb your studying."

Dean was looking shy and unsure, something that shocked Sam and made Dean look all of twelve.  
>"Nope. I'm off campus and all alone. It would be no bother. I would love to have you".<br>"Are you sure? I don't want to be in the way and my rehab is going to be hard."  
>'<em>Who ever heard of Dean doing rehab<em>?'  
>"I have four weeks off in a few days. I could help you."<br>"Are you really sure?"  
>"Yeah, Dean, just say yes."<br>Dean looked shy as he nodded and finally said yes even though it was barley a whisper.

TBC


	10. Free at last

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story**

Chapter ten Free at last

Dean fell to sleep a short time later and Dean's neurologist came in to see Sam.  
>"So why can't my brother remember things that have happened for the last few years? This isn't short term memory loss," Sam asked after the greetings were done.<br>"No in David's case, the fractured skull caused pressure against his temporal lobe as we discussed. It seems it has swollen the area around the hippocampus which is located in the inner fold of the temporal lobe. The hippocampus, the cortical structures surrounding it, and the neural pathways that connect them to the cortex as a whole are all heavily involved in declarative memory–the memory of facts and events."

Sam frowned as he struggled to take it in.  
>"His <em>Episodic<em> memory has been affected but his short term not at all which is highly unusual."  
>'<em>Trust Dean to be highly unusual.' <em>.  
>"What does it mean?"<br>"Episodic memory refers to our ability to recall personal experiences from our past. When we recount events that happened during our childhood, a movie we saw last week, or what we ate for breakfast, we are employing our long-term episodic memory. As its name suggests, this aspect of memory organizes information around episodes in our lives."  
>"So you are saying he has lost a few years in his life because he can't recall them?"<br>"Yes. But the good news is I am very confident David will get these memories back. He needs to see people and places from the missing years to get them back."  
>"He seems to be missing from sixteen or seventeen on."<br>"Yes. We got that feeling. He was a little confused as to what your dad did for a living around that time so it was difficult to pin down an actual age. He doesn't seem to even know what high school he was going to either."  
>"Yeah our dad moved around a lot on different jobs back then."<p>

Sam was selling the standard line they gave to explain their nomadic existence even as he contemplated how much harder it would make Dean's recovery.  
>"I will try to help him remember if I can."<br>"It would be good for him to have a family member around to help him."  
>Sam nodded and went back to his brother. Sam told Dean what the doctor had said. He accepted it with a slight frown.<br>"Want to pull out now?"  
>"What?" Sam frowned.<br>"Rehab."  
>"No way Dean I promised."<br>"Well you can pull put at any time, Sammy. I'm sure I can do it from a motel just as well. I know what a pain in the ass I can be."

Dean again looked unsure and shy. Sam had to remember Dean was seeing every thing with his last memory being sixteen. He was used to looking after Sam not the other way around. Still, he couldn't remember Dean being shy at sixteen. Sam would have been twelve and Dean's shadow learning all he could. Dean was also Sam's only slice of normality at that time. Dean would do things with Sam while their dad was away to give him something like a normal life. Sam knew even from an early age Dean had built up emotional shields to protect him from the traumas of his life. When something bad happened, Sam would always be surprised that Dean could just give Sam his cocky grin and carry on. He vowed to keep an eye on Dean.  
>"Don't even think about it, Dean."<br>"I'm just giving you the option. Don't forget I will be learning how to walk again, with one arm. It's going to be tough on top of missing a few years."  
>Sam realized that was probably why Dean was doing rehab in the first place. If he went too fast, he would be falling on his ass a lot. Not a great look.<p>

The rest of the week passed quickly, Sam dividing his time between school and being around for Dean's rehabilitation. Dean was frustrated with his steps being very small and hard to control. He had to bite his tongue a few times when Sam hovered and he wanted to strike out in frustration. Sam had seen it and told Dean to yell at him if he need to but Dean knew that wasn't what older brothers did to their siblings no matter how they felt.

Dean was concerned that as the days went on and his head felt clearer, his usual emotional shields were missing from his arsenal. It made his moods difficult to hide from Sam as they seemed to constantly waiting to jump out for the stupidest of reasons. He wasn't prepared for how hard it was to control these emotions without his shield to shove them away and lock them off as he had done since he was a kid. He remembered why he had the shields - to save the heartache emotions caused and show the world he was unaffected - but not how to make them work again. He was left swatting away tears before anyone, especially Sam, could see.

Unfortunately for Dean, Sam did see and had to hold himself back from jumping up and giving Dean a hug. Eventually he did give Dean a quick hug, backing away quickly and out of Dean's immediate area. Dean was confused that Sam had jumped back from him like Dean was going to pound him one. Dean was surprised at Sam's reaction, especially since he had held Dean's hand whenever he had been asleep. He always put it down quickly when Dean woke but Dean knew he was doing it and allowed it because he knew Sam was drawing strength from him and seeking some comfort. Dean wasn't beyond recognizing that Sam would need some sort of support to help him through helping him and he was willing to be there for Sam like Sam was for him. He felt he must have been a real asshole at some point for Sam to react the way he did. He was even more confused when Sam held his hand again the following morning when he was pretending to be asleep. Dean couldn't wait to get his memory back and work out what was going on.

Sam went to work and let his boss know he would take the following two weeks off. He would usually worked more on holidays for a little extra cash but an envelope had been delivered by Fed-Ex on Tuesday that contained over a thousand dollars in cash. Even though there was no note Sam smelled his dad all over it. At first he was tempted to send it back even though there was no return address Sam was sure he could work it out, just because that was what John had done instead of being there for his son. Throw money at him like that would work. Then Sam decided he would pay the rent and get a good supply of food in the apartment for the two of them. At least it would be helping Dean then. And _he_ could be there full time with his brother at least for the first two weeks.

Friday finally arrived and Sam bolted from his last class to find Dean waiting, dressed and ready to go. His newly clean shaven face and showered rosy skin made him look even younger than he had in the past two weeks. His hair was shorter on the right but it was growing back quickly to cover up the new scars he had running under his ear to neck. Even though Dean had just four rehab sessions he was able to walk very slow shuffling steps with a crutch on his left arm for a short while. He seemed to almost glow as Sam wheeled him out of the hospital to the Impala. Sam thought he would buck at being wheeled out but he seemed to know it was the chair or back in bed. Even though he had been around to help Dean in and out of bed for rehab and going to the bathroom Sam was still surprised at how little Dean weighed when he transferred him to the car. He was sure Dean was heavier than this before he went off to school. He felt the bile rise to his throat when he felt Dean's sharp hip bones through the cloth of his T shirt. Sam had to help Dean up the flight of stairs to his apartment which Dean struggled with badly.

'_At least that means Dean can't run off before he masters stairs.'_

TBC


	11. Settling in

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter eleven Settling in

By the time they made it to the front door, Dean was covered in sweat and had to stretch his aching back with a wince before he was steady enough to continue. Sam led Dean into the apartment and showed him around like someone who had never been there. Then he realized that, to Dean's current state of mind, he had never been there. Sam had bought a cheap, thin mattress for Dean and shoved it on the floor of his small bedroom, making the room even more cramped. He settled Dean on the sofa and took his bag to the bedroom. He had emptied a drawer in one of his dressers where he laid out Dean's clothes for him. Dean looked around the apartment from his perch on the couch. Sam really didn't have much in the way of personal touches in his apartment. He guessed they were never allowed to keep much with them on the road but Sam had his freedom and own place. It looked like he only managed a couch in the lounge and it wasn't that great. Dean hoped he might help Sam to improve them before he left. There was certainly room for a couple of chairs and a table more sturdy than the low coffee table for him to study at.

Sam came back to Dean's side and sat down on the couch with him.  
>"You want some dinner Dean?"<br>"Yeah, okay. Should we order pizza or something?"  
>"How about I cook?"<br>"You cook?"  
>"Yeah, my big brother taught me before I started school out here."<br>"I taught you?"  
>"Yeah. We had to do it in secret. Like a clandestine operation when dad wasn't around."<br>"Why did we keep it a secret from dad?"  
>"He didn't know I was leaving for school until the last minute. We decided it was the best way to handle it. But it didn't go so well. Even so, I doubt there was a good way to break that kind of news to dad," Sam said sadly.<p>

Dean frowned. "I thought dad would be proud of you for getting into Stanford."  
>"He wanted me to join the family business and help get revenge on the thing that killed mom."<br>"We can't hunt forever, Sammy. A least one of us deserves to get out and live a normal life."  
>"You understand."<br>"Didn't I say anything?"  
>"No kept you feelings to yourself like you always do."<br>"Well that's dumb. Sorry."  
>'There he goes with the shy and unsure look again. Weird.'<br>"Don't worry about it Dean. I think at the time dad was leaning on you to have his side."  
>"Huh."<p>

Dean looked deep in thought.  
>"So dinner. I can make spaghetti bolognaise. I think you could use fattening up. I would ask you if you have been eating at all but you wouldn't know."<br>Sam glanced back at Dean as he moved to the kitchen and saw sadness cross Dean's face. He strode back in and gripped Dean on the shoulder pleased when Dean didn't shake him off.  
>"Sorry Dean. I didn't mean it. It was a joke."<br>"It's okay Sammy. Not your fault. Just having a hard time dealing with it all."  
>Sam saw Dean's hands were curled up into fists in frustration and it finally clicked into place that Dean was missing that barrier he always had up. The usual smirk and deflection was missing from Dean's arsenal.<p>

Dean still looked upset, even while he assured Sam he was okay. It was kind of strange to feel seventeen, yet have an older body and missing memories he was sure he could use at this point. His relationship with Sam seemed a bit strained to him. Sam seemed to be putting on the act that everything was great between them, but Dean got the feeling that they were not. It was going to make for an upsetting time for Dean if he found out he was on the outer with his brother.  
>'I think I screwed up things between Sam and me. I'm always screwing up. How can Sam stand to have me here? It's gotta be a pity parade.'<p>

Dean stood slowly and hobbled to the kitchen to help Sam. Even in such a small apartment, Dean managed to almost fall over twice. Sam looked surprised when he slumped into the small room.  
>"Dean, go sit down and take it easy."<br>"No way Sammy, I gotta earn my keep. Can't let my new big brother do everything."  
>'Plus I think I owe him for screwing our relationship up as well.'<p>

Sam looked up in surprise. "I guess it's kind of like that, huh?"  
>Dean used the few moments Sam spent pondering it all to sidle up to the counter and take up the knife and start chopping onions Sam had sitting out.<br>"Dean, you should rest."  
>"I've been resting since I woke up, Sammy. Use me while you have me, I doubt I will last long."<br>Even as he spoke, Dean could feel his legs weakening and his back hurting more. Dean managed to get though the onions and garlic before he started leaning to the side. Sam grasped him gently by the shoulders and helped him to lie back down on the couch. He handed his brother the remote and with a firm "rest" and went back to cook dinner.

By the time Sam had served up dinner, Dean was asleep on the couch. Sam looked down at his brother for a few long moments before running a hand down his lean stomach. Make that bony stomach. Sam knew Dean hated hospital food but he couldn't have lost that much weight in the couple of weeks he was in there. Sam got Dean's medication out and placed it on the coffee table with Dean's dinner and a tall glass of water. Sam sat down with his own and a coffee before waking his sleeping sibling. Dean woke slowly, slightly confused as to his location before he woke fully.

They sat together and had dinner and then watched TV for an hour before Dean started to yawn tiredly. Sam suspected TV was a little hard to take in since so much had changed and he hadn't had a TV at the hospital to catch him up. He didn't even give Sam crap for the programs he watched which Dean had done as far back as he could remember.

Sam was about to get up and get ready for bed when Dean turned to him with a frown on his face.  
>"Sam, can I ask a question?"<br>"Yeah, sure."  
>"The hunt for the thing that killed mom. We haven't got it yet, you said?"<br>'Here it comes. So that's why he's been so quiet.'  
>"No Dean. You and dad are still working on that."<br>"And you're not?"  
>"No I quit to go to school."<br>"Quit?"  
>"Well I just wanted to take a break and go to school but Dad said not to come back."<br>"Dad said that? Really?"

There was brightness in Dean's eyes again and Sam's heart went out to his brother realizing he was close to tears.  
>'Man that wall of Dean's did a better job than I ever appreciated.'<br>Sam grasped Dean's forearm gently.  
>"Yeah, Dean. It was a big fight. The biggest we ever had. Dad was pretty upset. We both said things we shouldnt have."<br>Sam wasn't trying to defend his father but trying to soften the blow for Dean.  
>"Huh."<br>Sam could almost hear the cogs turning in Dean's head trying to work it out.  
>"Come on Dean, into bed."<p>

Sam pulled Dean up as gently as he could and Dean used his crutch to get to the bedroom. Sam helped Dean lower himself down to the mattress after he refused to take Sam's bed. Sam helped Dean out of his jeans and outer shirt even when he insisted he was okay. Sam made sure Dean had a glass of water and was settled comfortably before saying good night. Sam asked Dean if he was okay if he studied in the lounge for a while and Dean told him to go ahead. Dean knew Sam was giving him some room to settle in so he laid back and let sleep take him; after all it had been a fairly busy day.

Sam studied for a while with his mind half on what to do with Dean for the next few weeks. He had rehab appointments every few days and was expected to do exercises every day but what do you do with a brother who has lost a few years? Sam decided he should talk to Dean and see if he had any ideas. With his mind made up he went to clean up for bed. After a shower and brush of his teeth, Sam went into the bedroom to find the lamp still on and Dean curled up on his side. The arm in the cast was tucked up on his chest and protected by the other. He looked so peaceful and young as he slept.  
>'Who would have thought a twenty three year could look so cute.'<p>

Dean had pushed the covers off slightly so Sam tucked him back in feeling like a big brother. It pleased him to be able to do something for the man who had bought him up. Sam was still smiling to himself as he climbed into bed and snapped off the light.

TBC


	12. The first day is the hardest

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter twelve The first day is the hardest.

Sam startled awake in the morning after hearing a heavy bump against the wall to his left. He looked around the room as he tried to work out what the noise was. As he slowly sat up, he heard a muffled 'Shit' through the wall and realized it was Dean's voice. The implications of Dean's injuries and what he could be swearing about hit him. Sam flew out of bed and out of the room taking the sharp left u-turn to the bathroom and flinging the door open without thinking. Dean was sitting on the floor of the small room with his back against the wall dressed only in sweat pants trying to put his socks on. Of course when Sam had flung the door open it hit Dean's right knee.

Dean grunted in pain and pulled it out of Sam's way.  
>"God, sorry Dean. Are you okay?"<br>Dean nodded but Sam noticed his face was damp with sweat. Sam took a moment to take in the fact there was a towel pooled next to Dean's left hand and the boxers and T shirt he had on the night before were lying in front of him. Sam saw Dean's hair was damp as well.  
>"Dean did you just get out of the shower?"<br>'Okay dumb question.'  
>"Yeah, is that okay? You were out like a light and I didn't want to disturb you."<br>Sam stepped further into the room and helped Dean to stand.  
>"You should have woken me up, Dean. You could have hurt yourself."<br>"Well I kind of did. My knee."

Sam saw Dean was grinning up at him as he leaned over and grabbed up a folded T shirt on the vanity. Sam saw Dean's crutch hanging from the towel rail, it was wet like he had taken it in the shower with him. There was also a plastic bag that Sam recognized Dean had used in the hospital for his cast. His brother was definitely versatile. Dean put his arms up to let his T shirt slide down to his shoulders and Sam took a step back to give him some room. As Sam stepped back he saw just how thin Dean was. He was more than bony. Sam could clearly see Dean's hip bones as his sweat pants slid down revealing the top of his boxers. Speaking of sweat pants, how long had it been since he had seen Dean wear sweat pants? They were low on his hips and short around his ankles.  
>'By the look of it some time. I'm going to have to get him some or he can have some of mine.'<p>

Sam could see Dean struggling with his T shirt over his broken arm and stepped forward to help him.  
>"Dean, you really need to let me help you while you get better. You really could have hurt yourself."<br>"Hence the fact I was on the floor."  
>"Oh, right. You okay?"<br>"Bit sore, I'll get by."  
>Sam was shocked by Dean's admission but then remembered this was sixteen year old Dean without his shields. Older Dean would never admit to being in pain. Sam helped Dean finish up and then led him to the couch.<p>

He picked up Dean's dirty clothes and put them in the hamper, then took his shaving bag from him.  
>"You can leave this in the bathroom while you're here, Dean. There is enough room in the cabinet. Now stay here while I get dressed then I will start breakfast. Don't even think about getting up."<br>Sam noticed Dean shivering a little as he went to the bedroom to dress. When he was dressed, Sam took one of his hoodies out to Dean.  
>"Here put this on." Sam lifted the garment so Dean could slip it on.<br>"I'm okay Sammy."  
>"You're cold. Don't be a hero and don't argue." Sam slipped it over his head and helped him with the cast.<br>"Sorry Sammy, I don't seem to have too many clothes."

Dean looked upset and embarrassed again.  
>"Yeah I know. Jeans, T Shirts, shirts and a couple of jackets. Knowing you, they all need a wash."<br>"Sorry." Dean looked downcast.  
>Sam blinked in surprise.<br>"I was just kidding Dean. You lead a hard life, always on the go it's hard to keep on top of things. How about I do a laundry run after breakfast?"  
>"What can I do?"<p>

Sam thought for a minute "You can make a list of things you like to eat so I can do some shopping."  
>"I'll eat what you have, I don't care."<br>'I always get what you like anyway.'  
>"You have to eat properly Dean, you are way to skinny. If I can get what you like I can fatten you up a bit. Plus it will help with your rehab. We can do some of those exercises when I get back from doing the laundry if you like."<br>"Okay."

Sam made breakfast and had to encourage Dean to eat all of his. He seemed subdued after their talk. In truth, Dean found the up and down emotions to be a little hard to handle. He knew some of it was the meds he was on and the missing shields but some of it was his relationship with his brother. Sam seemed surprised when he made a joke and got upset easily. He didn't remember Sam being so serious and he always laughed at his jokes. In fact he used to count on Dean to cheer him up. Dean could remember telling jokes to a twelve year old Sam just to get him to laugh and have fun.

TBC


	13. Not all memories are good

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story**

Chapter thirteen Not all memories are good.

Sam cleaned up the breakfast dishes and gathered the laundry with an eye on his brother. He sat on the couch with paper and pen but Sam noticed there nothing written on the paper as yet. Maybe he didn't know what he liked anymore. Sam felt kind of sad for him.  
>"Now, I'm going down to the laundry. Stay on the couch and work on that list. If you need inspiration, try the TV."<p>

Sam handed Dean the remote and gathered the bags. Sam put the laundry in and then went out to the Impala and gave it a tidy up and a quick wash, feeling bad that the car had been sitting in a parking lot for a few days. He transferred the laundry to the dryer and went upstairs to check on his brother. He found Dean sitting on a kitchen stool toiling laboriously over the paper Sam had given him. Sam came up behind him and noticed there were about ten things written in shaky handwriting. Sam realized in horror he had asked Dean to write a list when the poor guy had a broken arm. He felt like a heel all of the sudden.  
>'God, so much for the college education.'<br>"Sorry Dean. I forgot you are right handed."

Sam saw Dean had the pen wedged in his stiff plastered fingers and was moving his whole arm to write. Sam felt so bad he hugged Dean from behind. He was extremely amazed but overjoyed when he felt Dean tilt back on the stool towards him taking some comfort from him or maybe he was giving it. Sam wouldn't put it past Dean to be trying to comfort him when clearly he needed the help.  
>"No problems, Sammy. I have to work it out sooner or later."<br>Sam took the paper and tried to decipher the handwriting, in the end getting Dean's help and writing what they were next to them. Sam had to encourage Dean to help him add a few more things to the list. He seemed to be picking things Sam liked as a kid he noticed. Sam made coffee for them and chatted to Dean about what kinds of meals he would like and other things he would like to snack on. When Sam was finally happy with the list he helped Dean back to the couch telling him to rest until he came back with the laundry.

When Sam bought the laundry back, Dean was staring at the TV in confusion.  
>"Sammy, the World Trade Center was bombed."<br>"Yeah Dean, back in ninety five."  
>"Ninety five? What about the plane thing?"<br>Dean was rubbing his ear and Sam noticed a trickle of blood run from a nostril. He snagged a tissue from the box.  
>"Last year. You remembering something?" Sam sat down next to Dean on the couch and gently mopped the blood up. Dean didn't seem to notice intent on other things.<br>"I saw it on the TV but it triggered something. I kind of remembered the…terrorist attack? How can I kind of remember? It's kind of like an inch on my brain. It's maddening."

Dean punched his temple with his knuckles. Sam pulled the hand back gently and rubbed his fingers across the knuckles absentmindedly.  
>"Just relax, Dean. Don't force it."<br>"How can I remember the plane thing but not you leaving for school? Or being shot? I know what the most important thing is in my mind."  
>Dean thumped his thigh with his hand in the cast since the other was still captured in Sam's grasp. Sam didn't miss the wince of pain.<br>"Easy Dean. Who knows the way the mind processes things? Maybe me leaving was the kind of stress your mind wants to block out. September eleven was about as big as things get so as things go it's kind of hard to forget. "

Dean sat with his head hanging down and his brow furrowed. A drop of blood fell on the white cast, standing out as if in rage.  
>'Great, I've got a headache again.'<br>Dean took his hand back from Sam and rubbed both temples.  
>"Let's try a gentler way of remembering," Sam soothed, wiping up the new blood from the cast and from Dean's nose. "How about I get some DVDs and see if it helps? Stuff you liked. It may help you remember. And what about a book? With things that have happened, like an almanac."<br>"Almanac? Wow, Sammy's a nerd."

Dean took the tissue gently from Sam and finished the job himself.  
>"The term you usually use is geek," Sam laughed loudly at Dean, making fun of him for the first time since he got out of hospital. He had forgotten how much he missed it. He patted Dean on the knee then got up.<br>"I will put the laundry away then we will do some exercises. You feel up to that or do you want to rest?"  
>"I'm good, thanks."<br>Dean got up and got himself a glass of water and washed his face while Sam went back downstairs pondering Dean's state of mind and his bloody nose. By the time Sam packed away the clothes, Dean had the hoodie off and was sitting on the floor. Sam noticed how faded and threadbare Dean's T shirt was. He remembered this one as he had all Dean's clothes he had washed. It didn't look like Dean had taken the time to buy himself new clothes since Sam had left them some months ago. Sam crouched down and helped him do his exercises trying not to worry about all the bones he could feel.

Sam helped Dean back to his feet and they did several laps of the apartment before Dean went to the front door.  
>"No way, Dean. You could barley make it up them yesterday."<br>"Just the first set for practice."  
>Sam sighed. "Okay but let me help."<br>Dean hadn't tried going down more than two stairs at a time since he came out of hospital and he found it almost as difficult as going up. He was sure he was going to face plant at least twice if not for Sam holding him back. By the time they made it back into the apartment Dean had good sweat going.  
>"You want to change your shirt?"<br>"Yeah I better."

Sam helped Dean with his shirt again, feeling a stab of concern again when he saw how thin he was. He wasn't getting used to it just growing more worried. Sam made Dean a snack with strict instructions that he eat it all before he got back. Dean volunteered to go with Sam to the store but knew it was a pretty soft offer as he could barley stand let alone walk around a store. Dean gave Sam the three hundred dollars the hospital had given him as part of his belongings that were found in his clothes. Sam at first didn't want to take it but Dean insisted it would make him feel better until he could go hustle pool and get him some money to help out. Sam had yet to tell Dean about the money John had sent, thinking Dean may get upset for him just sending money and not coming to see him.

TBC


	14. So much has happened

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story**

Chapter fourteen So much has happened

Sam went to the store and got as much food on Dean's list as he could and things he knew Dean liked when he was older. He then went to the DVD store and rented five DVDs he thought Dean would like. He went to a book store and found an almanac for the last twenty years to give to Dean and see if it rang any bells. He arrived back at the apartment to find Dean sitting on the floor doing more exercises.  
>"Dean! You shouldn't be doing those on your own. What are you doing them so soon for? You did some already today."<br>"I know I'm just trying to get better as soon as I can."  
>"There is no need to rush it Dean. Take your time and get better properly."<p>

Sam could see a look on Dean's face he didn't like at all.  
>"What Dean? Come on out with it."<br>"I just…don't wanna be in the way is all."  
>"I told you before Dean you are not in the way. I want you here." Sam squeezed Dean on the shoulder before helping him up.<br>Dean hobbled to the kitchen on his crutch and attempted to help Sam put away the groceries. It didn't take long for his legs to feel shaky but he pushed through it until he was leaning on the counter. Sam took him back to the couch and gave him the book he had bought him. Sam opened it at nineteen ninety six.  
>"Start here."<br>Sam went back to the kitchen and put away the rest of the groceries and started on some sandwiches for lunch.

He looked up, startled when Dean appeared at the counter, book clutched in the tips of his fingers of the hand with the cast and his other arm leaning on his crutch.  
>"Hey Clinton? Are you serious?"<br>"Well not now, but yeah. When did you care about politics?"  
>"General interest isn't it?"<br>"Yeah I guess."  
>"Who's Tupac?"<br>"Rapper."  
>"Oh that shi…sorry."<br>"It's okay Dean you're an adult you can swear."  
>"It's not that. The guy was killed, it's disrespectful."<p>

Sam did a double take.  
>'What the fuck? Okay where's the holy water?'<br>"Christo."  
>"What?"<br>"Sorry Dean, it's just so unlike you."  
>Dean frowned. "It's unlike me to care if someone died?"<br>"No that's not what I meant. You are kind of used to it by now. It doesn't bother you as much I guess."

Dean looked troubled and confused as he limped back to the couch. Sam came out a few minutes later with two plates of sandwiches and glasses of coke. Sam gave Dean his meds and watched him carefully as he ate.  
>"I got some DVDs to watch for later."<br>"DVDs?"  
>"Oh shit. I forgot that's how we watch movies now."<br>Sam got up and bought back the slim cases.  
>"VHS is starting to be phased out now. They say these will be cheaper to buy than rent soon."<br>Sam showed Dean the thin disk.  
>"So…the whole movie is on that?"<br>"Yeah."  
>"Huh."<p>

Sam watched Dean pull his phone out.  
>"What are you doing ?"<br>"Seeing if there is a message thing from dad."  
>"It will make a noise when you get one. You can call him if you want."<br>"Should I, do you think?"  
>"Yeah but it might be best if I did it with you."<br>"What do you mean?"  
>"We can put it on speaker so I can listen and talk as well. Just in case dad's an ass."<p>

Dean looked surprised at Sam's words but said nothing, nodding instead.  
>"You wanna do it now?"<br>"I better let him know what I'm doing I guess."  
>Sam nodded and pressed the buttons to get Dean's phone to call John's. As per usual, it went to voice mail.<br>"Dad, it's Sam. Just letting you know Dean is here with me while he gets better."  
>Sam motioned for Dean to speak into the phone.<br>"Hi dad, it's Dean. I am at Sam's he is helping me get better… Call me if you can, thanks."  
>'Aw he sounds all of five years old.'<p>

Sam hung up the phone.  
>"What do you want to do this afternoon?"<br>"You should study. I might lie down for a bit then do some more exercises."  
>"<em>Dean."<em>  
>"I mean later after I've had a sleep and read a bit."<br>"Are you allowed to do them three times a day?"  
>"No idea but I have a session tomorrow so I want to show I have been doing them."<br>"Just don't overdo them."  
>"Okay."<p>

Dean got up slowly on his crutch and took his plate to the kitchen then came back and repeated the process with his glass. Sam had to acknowledge he wasn't shirking in the trying hard area. But Dean had never been a lazy guy by any means. Sam followed Dean into the bedroom to make sure he was comfortable. Dean asked Sam for a novel to read to help him nod off, surprising the hell out of him. Sam tossed him a battered copy of '_The Surgeon of Crowthorne_.'  
>"Hey this book is by Simon Winchester, is he any relation?"<br>"Ah no. He is English I think. Sorry that's kind of a novel kind of a real story. I can dig some more books out later if you want."  
>"That would be great. Might help ring some bells."<p>

Sam was about to say he doubted it but stopped himself. He really didn't know as much about Dean as he thought he did.  
>'Hell Dean could read all the time while I'm not around. I know he used to read a lot till he dropped out of school. I thought he only read to encourage me to do it.'<br>He had been wrong about a few things when it came to Dean lately so he chose to back off and leave Dean to it.

TBC


	15. Good then bad

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter fifteen Good then bad 

Sam went out and picked up his books and started to study. He had already taken the voucher Dean had got him and used it on replacing his old books with new ones from the bookshop at Dean's insistence. He still had a fair amount of credit on the card but he knew he would have to get more before the semester started up. Sam had been a bit dubious to use it at first, thinking Dean may have obtained it illegally, but it had proved to be the real deal for which he was grateful for. Not only because he didn't have to be embarrassed using it, but that his brother had cared enough to do it properly.

Sam got a fair bit of work done in a few hours but it left him wondering if Dean was sleeping the whole time. Just as he was about to get up and check on him when Dean came out stumbling a little with his crutch. Dean had the novel Sam had given him in his teeth. He stopped at the coffee table and handed it to Sam.  
>"Thanks for that. Interesting story."<br>"You finished it?"  
>"Yeah, it was fairly short."<br>"Ohh… kay." Sam was surprised Dean had finished the book at all let alone in such a short time. "Did you sleep at all?"  
>"Yeah. Grabbed an hour. I think that's all I need now."<p>

Dean limped over to the space on the floor where he had been doing his exercises and eased himself to the floor slowly. Sam hopped up and went over to help Dean.  
>"It's okay, Sammy. I can do it alone; you should study."<br>"I'm done with studying for the day. In fact, thanks to you I am way ahead of where I need to be."  
>"Me?"<br>"The book voucher. I was able to get the books I really needed. I never really thanked you properly so thanks."  
>"That's okay, Sammy. You deserve them."<br>'He looks so cute when he's embarrassed. Where did that come from?'

They got through the exercises then Sam went to get dinner ready. Dean sat on the couch with one eye on the TV and one on the almanac Sam had bought him.  
>"Michael Jackson got married?" Dean called out.<br>"Yeah they had a kid –Prince Michael, I think."  
>"Weird. Did you see '<em>Titanic'<em>?"  
>"Yeah. You took me after I bugged you for like two months."<br>"Ha, they did another '_Batman'_ with George Clooney and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Christ what a crock."  
>"You said that when it came out."<br>"I didn't see it did I?"  
>"You threw popcorn at the screen."<br>"Ouch, must have been bad."

Sam came in with a plate of steak and salad.  
>"Did Princess Diana and Mother Theresa die?"<br>"Yeah Diana died in a car crash in Paris. Mother Theresa of old age. Both were pretty sad."  
>"Hmm. Holy shit Sammy, how much food do you think I can eat? This steak is over the edge of the plate."<br>"You need the protein Dean. Eat as much as you can."

Dean did the best he could but still didn't eat it all. After dinner Sam put on a DVD to try to trigger Dean's memory. It was '_Mission Impossible'_ and Dean thought it was okay but nothing special. After the movie Sam made them coffee and Dean asked questions about Sam's classes and what he planned to do afterwards. Sam found himself enjoying Dean's company as he discussed his college life. He hadn't talked to Dean about his classes after he left them as he thought Dean didn't want to know. He liked Dean's openness with him and it made for easy, light conversations.

Dean checked his phone to find no messages from his dad at all. He left another one in hopes that he would get back to him when he had the time. Sam was doubtful that John would bother to call Dean back and Dean picked up on it.  
>"So what's the deal with you and dad? I sense a fair bit of hostility there."<br>'What do I say here?'  
>Dean sensed his hesitation.<br>"Come on Sammy, it can't be that bad."  
>"Well, you remember what it was like when you were sixteen. By the time I was sixteen, dad and I were battling it out daily."<br>"Why? Was it the school thing?"  
>"Yeah. Dad felt I was abandoning the family cause or business or whatever."<br>"Crusade."

Dean rubbed his ear again.  
>"What?"<br>"You called it a crusade."  
>"You remember?"<br>"I remember a fight you had when you were…I don't know… fourteen?"  
>Dean had his brow scrunched in thought. "You called it a crusade and stormed out of the motel, or wherever we were staying."<br>Dean's headache was so bad he held his head in one hand. "I had to look for you. Took me hours to find you… at a park? I didn't take you back, I….I can't remember."

Dean stuttered to a halt with a very sore head and a drop of blood leaking down his chin. Sam picked up a tissue somewhat automatically and gave it to Dean who wiped it away distractedly. Sam was a little concerned they were getting into a habit of treating these bloody noses so flippantly. To be having them meant Dean's was straining himself.

"You stayed with me in the park until you were sure dad would have calmed down."

Sam took up the commentary. "Turned out dad had gone to the pub and got drunk. You got me settled for the night and went to find him. I remember waking up in the morning with dad shaking me saying you were missing. We went to find you but you were out the front of the motel passed out asleep near the door. Dad was in such a state he didn't see you. He left for a hunt later that day without a backwards glance. You got the flu from being outside in the cold all night. He didn't come back for five days and when he did he threw a fit because you were sick."

Dean looked up at Sam. "So, not a good time?"  
>"No, it hasn't been good for a long time Dean."<br>Dean looked sad and as upset as Sam had ever seen him.  
>"What's wrong Dean?"<br>"It's just, damn." Dean squeezed the bridge of his nose with his fingers.  
>"What Dean?" Sam squeezed Dean's shoulder.<br>"Dad said we were close to getting the thing that killed mom and we would settle down and live in one place."  
>"Ha, like that would ever happen." It came out before Sam could stop it.<p>

Dean grabbed his crutch suddenly and staggered up heading for the bathroom.  
>"Dean, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."<br>Dean shut the bathroom door with a bang before Sam could say anything else. When Dean came out of the bathroom, he was ready for bed and clearly not in the mood for any more talk, not meeting Sam's eye at all. When Sam was ready for bed, Dean was already in bed with his back turned towards Sam's bed and the door. Sam saw a small pile of bloody tissues next to Dean's hand on the mattress and took water and pills in and placed them on the floor where he was facing.

Sam noticed Dean was scrunched up in a near fetal position and his broken arm was pulled tightly to his chest.  
>'He looks like he is in so much pain.'<br>Sam bit down his frustration and sadness at the minefield of emotions they were dealing with and hoped Dean would feel better in the morning.

TBC


	16. Trouble in paradise

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story**

Chapter sixteen Trouble in paradise

Sam woke in the morning to find Dean hadn't moved all night. Sam got up showered and dressed and made breakfast. Dean was yet to surface when he laid the plates on the table so he went in and found him lying on his mattress fully dressed.  
>"Coming for breakfast?"<br>"Not hungry, thanks."  
>"Come on Dean you have to eat." Sam put a hand under Dean's arm and pulled him up.<br>"Really Sam, I'm okay"  
>"Come on I cooked, please eat for me."<p>

Dean sat on the couch with his head down pushing the food around the plate.  
>"Dean are you still upset about what I said last night? 'Cause I didn't mean it, I swear."<br>Dean looked up slowly. "It's okay Sam. It's not your fault. You were just telling it how it is."  
>"I didn't mean to upset you. Just so much has changed since you were sixteen."<br>Dean nodded softly and bent his head to attempt to eat a bite to keep Sam from worrying about him. It was a tough ask as the food tasted like cardboard this morning and Sam's cooking wasn't to blame. Dean was feeling pretty bad at how his family had obviously self-destructed over the last few years. Dean had dropped out of school and committed himself to hunting to keep the peace between his brother and father.

At sixteen he had felt he could keep the family unit together no matter what. Looks like he had failed at doing that.  
>'Like I fail at everything else. I could never please Dad no matter how hard I trained and did what he said without question. Looks like I stuffed up by dropping out and trying to help out. I should have taken off.'<br>Dean felt guilt and confusion at his thoughts, knowing he could never just abandon his family like Sam had, he realized.  
>'What did I do to drive Sam away? We were so close.'<p>

It took Dean some time to eat enough for Sam to let him go shower and get ready for his appointment at the hospital. At the hospital, Dean did all that was required of him without uttering a word. It troubled Sam to see his brother like this. He was sure Dean had not been like this when he was sixteen so he was putting the mood down to trauma and memory loss. Back at Sam's apartment Dean was quiet and withdrawn, hardly eating and not speaking as he read his almanac. Sam tried to engage him in a movie after dinner and he begrudgingly agreed. Sam had the feeling he was just doing it to keep Sam off his back. Dean's only comment about _Blues Brothers 2000_ was that they should have stopped making those movies. Dean went to bed early and once again Sam had to put up with Dean's back.

Dean spent the next few days being very quiet and eating less and less. Needless to say, Sam was worried sick about his brother and couldn't have apologized to him more than he had. Dean told him several times it wasn't his fault but was still quiet and withdrawn. The only contact Sam had with Dean over the next few days was eating together and doing Dean's exercises. Sam took Dean back to the hospital for another check up and therapy session but he had the feeling he was just the mode of transport and not support like he wanted to be. He tried forcing his help on Dean but it seemed to make him more withdrawn. Dean was pushing hard with his rehab on his legs but it was almost like he didn't want to remember his missing years as he refused to look at the almanac and any attempt to watch a movie had Dean going back to bed, even in the middle of the day. Worst of all for Sam was that Dean called Sam only by Sam not by Sammy. Even though Sam often corrected Dean, he found he missed it now that it was gone.

Sam was even thinking about calling their dad he was so worried. In the end, Sam spoke to Dean's doctor on the phone the day before his next appointment. He was starting to panic that Dean was starving himself for some reason. He liked Dean's doctor as the guy really seemed to care about Dean. He hoped so because he needed some help with his brother and he couldn't see his Dad coming through for him. Dean still did his exercises and Sam could see him shaking with weakness from lack of food.

The doctor felt Dean was going through a patch of depression either from the trauma of the accident or because his mindset was sixteen, a time when a lot of teens went through it. He would speak with Dean when he saw him for his check up. Sam hadn't thought of that and tried to convince himself that Dean didn't go through depression ever but when he really thought about it when Dean was sixteen he had been twelve and the time of girls and self-discovery had begun. Sam was busy working out just who he was and what he wanted in his life.

He remembered straying away from Dean when he could around that time to get more of an idea of who he was independently. He had just assumed Dean had been too busy with training and hunting to care. Of course Dean was there every night for Sam to ask his myriad of questions to. When Dean was eighteen he had dropped out of school and was hunting part time with their dad as well as looking after him. Sam knew Dean never had a normal childhood so maybe this was part of what he was going through.

TBC


	17. A friendly chat

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story**

Chapter seventeen A friendly chat

The next day when the Doctor finished checking Dean over, he asked Sam if he could have a private moment with his brother. Dean was surprised the doctor wanted to see him alone.  
>"Mr. Michelson, I just wanted to chat with you about how you are feeling mentally."<br>"It's David please. Mentally? What are you talking about?"  
>"Okay then, if you call me Adam we can just sit and have a chat."<p>

Dean nodded showing he followed.  
>"Well David, often patients like yourself that have gone through a trauma have problems getting their lives back together. Post-traumatic stress often goes undetected to the patient's detriment. Unfortunately, we forget to ask how you are coping once you are out of the hospital. So how are you feeling? It must be hard with those missing years."<br>"Well yeah it is."  
>"Have you had any luck getting some memories back?"<br>"A little."  
>"You seem reluctant. Has there been a problem?"<br>"Well things didn't work out like I thought they would."  
>"In what way?"<p>

Dean didn't really want to tell a stranger what he was feeling but it might help if he got someone else's opinion if he was overreacting. Plus this Doctor did seem concerned about him and reminded him of an uncle he meet a couple of times when he was really small. A real uncle. Uncle Adam as it happened.  
>"Well my family basically self-destructed on my watch and I did nothing to stop it."<br>"What do you mean, you did nothing?"  
>"My brother said I just stood there and let him walk out on the family without saying anything."<br>"Do you remember it?"  
>"No, Sam told me."<p>

The doctor nodded knowingly.  
>"You really shouldn't be so quick to judge, David. You are getting Sam's point of view not your own."<br>"What do you mean?"  
>"Well you are getting it the way Sam saw it at the time. There may have been extenuating circumstances that took place over a number of years. There may be a very good reason for your silence. I really wouldn't worry about overstressing yourself by trying to guess what happened even though you are not happy with the end result. Has it been hard to get the memories back?"<br>"Yeah things that trigger it seem to be deeply personal rather than history or current events and it hurts like hell."

'Damn mouth. Could have stopped at embarrassed not humiliated.'  
>"That's about what we would expect but what about the pain you are getting? Can you describe it? When and where?"<br>"Um. Just a headache when a memory hits me hard."  
>"Just a headache? No bloody noses, nausea, vomiting, dizziness or confusion?"<br>"Well the bloody noses and the nausea so far."  
>"Hmm. What would you rate your headache out of ten? Be honest, I know your pain threshold is quite high."<p>

Dean sighed knowing he wasn't going to let it go until he got an answer.  
>"When it's at its strongest about a seven or eight when it calms down a four."<br>"Do you take the pain medication I prescribed?"  
>"Yeah."<br>"Okay what pain level are you at now?"  
>"About a two, it's nice and quiet."<br>The doctor sat for a moment looking at his notes before addressing Dean again.  
>"Well I think you are trying too hard for one. Just wait until your memories come back. The answers will be there."<br>"Huh, you think?"  
>"I would give it a go. Even so, Sam is helping you get better, right?"<br>"Yeah."  
>"By helping you, he is showing he cares even if your family isn't together at the moment. Spend some time with him and maybe you can repair the bridges."<br>"Looking a gift horse in the mouth, huh?"  
>"Pretty much."<br>"What are you a shrink as well?"

Adam laughed. "No just concerned. Are you having problems emotionally? I ask because it's common with your type of head injury."  
>'Might as well go for broke. Who knows maybe he can help.'<br>"I used to be able to bury my emotions behind a wall or shield kind of thing. I started it when I was young and it seems to have disappeared. At the moment my emotions always seem so close to the surface all the time. Do you think I will get it back?"  
>"That sounds like a tragic way to handle things David but it's better than violence or drug abuse so I would have to say it will come back with time or maybe the ability to make them like you did before will return. If you want them to. In the meantime maybe talk to Sam or someone close you can trust. We can recommend a counsellor if that's what you need. Just don't feel embarrassed about talking to someone. It can be very therapeutic rather than bottling it all up. Who knows you may learn a better way of dealing with it."<br>"You really care don't you?"

Dean was as surprised as he sounded.  
>"Like I said, too many patients slip through the system with out proper care. David, I noticed you have lost a bit of weight, are you eating enough?"<br>"I have been off it a bit. It's what I do when I worry. Food tastes like crap so I don't eat."  
>"Do you think it would worry your brother?"<br>"Yeah it would." Dean had a sheepish look on his face.  
>'Man, I messed up. I wonder if Sam will forgive me.'<br>"Do you think you need something to help?"  
>"What like drugs? I think I am on enough."<br>"Well if you feel depressed or upset we can prescribe an anti-depressant or, like I said, a counseling session with a therapist."  
>"I think I will be okay now, thanks doc."<br>"Good. Anything else I can do?"  
>"That's it, thanks."<p>

Dean hobbled out to Sam and they went out to the Impala together. Before Sam could start the car Dean leaned over slightly.  
>"Sam could we stop somewhere for lunch? My treat."<br>Sam looked over surprised.  
>"You sure?" He looked meaningfully at Dean's crutch leaning by his leg.<br>"Yeah, we've been cooped up too long."  
>"Where?"<br>"You pick."

Sam drove them to a pizza place that bought the pizza to the table so Dean wouldn't have to walk around too much. Sam noticed a few people looked at Dean with pity in their eyes. Sam supposed his brother did look a sight with his hair still growing over the nasty scar on his head, the arm in plaster, the shuffling walk assisted by the crutch and the left shoulder that still showed signs of being stiff and sore. That and the fact the poor guy was looking very thin these days.

Once they had sat down, ordered and had drinks in front of them Dean spoke to Sam in a low voice. "I'm sorry I've been a pain in the ass the last few days Sam."  
>"It's ok…"<br>"No its not," Dean interrupted, "I've been an ass to you for no reason. I'm sorry Sammy. I shouldn't have shut you out."  
>'Holy shit. Dean apologized and used Sammy again.'<br>"It's alright Dean. Apology accepted; just don't go off your food again. It freaked me out. I'm here to help so please let me."  
>"Okay."<p>

TBC


	18. Clearer picture

+Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter eighteen Clearer Picture

Sam looked over at Dean across the table of the booth.  
>"Can I ask a question Dean?"<br>"Yeah, of course."  
>"Are you mad at me because I went to school?"<br>"No Sammy. I wanted you to go."  
>"Then what were the last few days about? Are you upset because Dad and I don't get along?"<br>"Well yeah. I always thought we would stay together."  
>"But you said you were okay with me going to…"<br>"I don't mean physically, I mean as a family. You could still go to Stanford and we could still come and see you or even stay close. Did we offer?"  
>"No Dean. Dad didn't like the idea of me going. What did you think would happen? I mean when you were sixteen you had already made the choice to follow dad and be a hunter. You stopped going to school at seventeen."<br>"I thought I would stop hunting and stay with you while you were at school and help dad out now and again, but from where you were."  
>"You wanted to give up hunting and do what?"<p>

Dean shrugged one shoulder. "No idea. Look after you I guess."  
>"Dad would never allow that."<br>"Why not? Surely he would be worried about you off by yourself. Family is more important than anything else."  
>'Wow Dean really thought differently than I thought he did.'<br>"You were too valuable to him."  
>"Valuable? What do you mean?" Dean's eyebrows went up in surprise<br>"As a hunter. You are a great hunter, Dean. One of the best in fact. You could already run rings around Dad by the time you were nineteen. You even developed your own hunting method."  
>"What method?"<p>

Dean was uncomfortable at Sam praising him so openly.  
>"You called it back tracking. One of your strengths is your tracking ability. It frustrated the crap out of dad how good you are. He thought you were off your rocker with the tracking thing because he tried it and couldn't do it."<br>"What's this back tracking?"  
>Sam squinted until he came up with a good example of the many times Dean had used it that he knew of.<p>

"We were in Chicago when you were almost twenty because there was a spree of killings the cops were calling a serial killer. Dad thought they were weird enough to check out so we went but the crime scenes had been cleaned by the police before we got there. For some reason he never told us, Dad thought it was some spirit. Dad spent three days finding a big truckload of nothing before you got frustrated and wanted to go out and do your thing. Dad argued with you for a couple of hours before he relented when you said he was scared of being beaten by a teenager. You bet you could work it out before him. All you need was the Impala and a couple of maps of the area. Dad had me, his truck and anything else he needed.

"You looked at the maps for a while, working out where they were taken from, where the bodies were found, and working out a pattern. You were always good with maps as well. You told me later you went to an area you figured the assailant was scooping out his victims. 'Cause the cops hadn't worked it out, the place was clean, and you tracked it back to a civilian. It was a serial killer. A very twisted and messed up one but it was one. One anonymous tip to the cops the next day and we were back on the road. With one very grumpy father." Sam laughed as he finished recounting the story.

Lunch arrived and Dean pondered what Sam had told him and what he had been thinking about the last few days. Sam was happy with what he put away for lunch and that he didn't care about being stared at when he hobbled out of the restaurant.

Dean was in a much better mood for the rest of the day opening his almanac and reading when he wasn't doing his exercises or helping Sam around the house. Sam had to admit Dean was getting more mobile as the week progressed. It was getting hard to believe he was the same guy that was lying in hospital not so long ago with a bullet wound in his shoulder and stomach. He was even starting to practice on the stairs by himself and although he was sporting a few bruises, skinned knees and hands, he was getting better. He seemed to have shrugged off the problems he was stewing on and was willing to let the memories come back when they wanted to. He even went down at the end of his second week with Sam and helped with the laundry. Sam was a little troubled that Dean was still sleeping with his arm pulled tightly to his chest but other than that, things looked a lot better.

When they were having dinner after coming back from doing the laundry, Sam got a call from his boss to ask if he could come in on short notice to cover a shift. To Sam's surprise, Dean encouraged him to go even though it was the nightshift and he would be there till the early hours of the morning. Sam didn't really want to go but he could use the extra money the shift would provide and he would keep on good terms with his boss.

Sam left for his shift, making sure Dean had his number in his phone and written down just in case. Sam promised to keep his phone on him all night. Dean had a late but quiet night watching '_Saving Private Ryan_' which he though was one of the more realistic war films he had ever seen and _'Star Wars Episode I-The Phantom Menace'_ which he thought was okay but the ones done earlier were better. He went to bed and read the rest of the almanac, not liking all the stuff that happened in two thousand and one knowing it must have been bad for it to tug a little on his brain as if it was vaguely familiar. He rifled through Sam's small collection of fiction books having already read over half and stacked them neatly on Sam's lonely bookshelf.

For an academic Sam didn't really have a lot. But he guessed Sam was kind of starting from his time at Stanford, not starting from when he was young like most people. It was lonely and quiet as he settled down with '_The Great Gatsby'_ purely because Sam said it was a classic that most people had read. After fifty pages it was clear to Dean he had never read this one. It wasn't really his style but he slogged on and finished it in the early hours finally feeling tired enough to sleep. Maybe he could get some books from a second hand store hoping to trigger some memories. Then he remembered there was a book store around the corner and up the block. He could get some new books and leave them for Sam. He was pretty sure there would be some cash stored in one of his secret hiding places in the Impala. He had been squirreling money away since he was twelve so there was bound to be some in there.

TBC


	19. Hiding places

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story**

Chapter nineteen Hiding places

Sam let himself into the apartment later that morning as quietly as he could so he didn't wake Dean. He was surprised therefore to smell breakfast cooking as he shed his coat. As he walked to the kitchen, Dean came to the doorway with a plate which he pushed into Sam's stomach making him accept it on instinct.  
>"Good timing Sammy."<br>"You okay Dean?"  
>"Yeah, fine. It's just breakfast. I'm not climbing Everest." Dean laughed at Sam's astonished look as he hobbled back to the kitchen for his own plate.<p>

They sat together watching TV as they ate. Dean noticed Sam was covered with sweat and dust even though it looked like he had cleaned up before he left work that morning.  
>"I thought you were just going in to stack some shelves. It looks like you moved the whole store around."<br>"That's what I thought but I got to work and it turns out the boss of all the franchises is coming down today. Anyway they had these two fifteen year olds stacking away the stockroom. They must have weighed a hundred and twenty pounds together. They were only at it for an hour before the manager comes and gets me to take over. So four hours later the stockrooms clean and I'm back in the store stocking shelves."  
>"You look like you've been camping for a week." Dean grinned.<br>"Yeah. I hate it but it's a job and it gets me this apartment and food on the table, just…"  
>"What do you mean just?"<br>"Pays pretty crap. Minimum wage. At first I thought it would be a good way to keep fit but I get so tired I can barley keep awake to study."  
>"So get a new job."<br>"You make it sound so easy. It's not like hunting. It took me weeks to get this one."  
>"Huh. Why do you live off campus anyway? I thought you would have to live closer to the books," Dean teased.<br>"Roommates. After a string of them that either locked me out so they could be with girls or party, the best peace and quiet was here. It's only a few minutes from the campus so no big deal. Anyway I better go wash up because you have an appointment this morning."  
>"We could cancel if you're too tired."<br>"No we should go. I can sleep when we get back."

Dean's therapy session went well and he was informed he could now go for short walks and reduced his appointments to once a week. She also encouraged Dean to walk around the apartment as much as possible without his crutch to strengthen his legs and back further. Dean had to shake Sam from his almost dozing state in the chair to take him home. When they returned to the apartment, they both went to rest but Dean took the couch claiming he only needed a short nap and wanted to let Sam have a good sleep to catch up. Sure enough, Dean woke an hour later feeling quite refreshed. He decided to go for a short walk around to the book shop and get some books. He wrote a note for Sam and hobbled down to the Impala with the keys in his jacket pocket. Dean opened the back passenger door of the car and hunted down one of his hiding spots. He knew he was an adult now but he felt he would still stash some cash away. He was right. There was one hundred and fifty dollars in the first one and three hundred in the second. Dean took two hundred and left the rest for later. He knew there would be more in there but he had more than enough for now. Dean decided to use half for books and things and give half to Sam for food.

Dean hobbled down to the book store, beyond caring when people stared at his unsteady gait and his one crutch. The bookstore was large and advertised a new in store cafe and extended hours with its recent renovation. Dean found the store to have a large selection, reasonable prices, and good coffee but not much in the way of sales staff. The place smelled of new carpet and paint and looked fairly modern. Dean enjoyed his time in the coffee shop to review his purchases and rest his legs from his walk. The sales girl had given Dean a bag so he slung it over his arm to his shoulder freeing him up to walk a little better. As he left the store, he looked back through the window at the sales girl who had been openly flirting with him and saw a small notice on the glass: Help wanted. Dean smiled and stepped back inside the store.

TBC


	20. New opportunity

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter twenty New opportunity

When Sam woke some time later he found Dean sitting in front of a stack of books.  
>"Hey Dean. Where have you been?"<br>"'Round the corner to the book store."  
>"Where did you get the money?"<br>Sam was a little worried Dean was laying a false paper trail so close to his apartment.  
>"Don't worry Sammy; I still remember where the good hiding places are in the Impala."<br>"I knew it!" Sam exclaimed, "I never found out where they all were but I knew they were there."  
>"Ha, too smart for you, college boy."<p>

Sam smiled, enjoying seeing the grin back on Dean's face. "You didn't hurt yourself going all that way did you?"  
>"No. In fact I might make it a regular trip."<br>"Someone down there worth making the trip for?" Sam teased thinking Dean had met a girl there. Well Dean always met girls where ever he went.  
>"Might be."<br>Dean tossed Sam a card. Sam looked at it to find the name 'Black Books' printed in bold spidery font on one side and the name 'Jenny Black' and a phone number printed on the back.  
>"You going down to see a girl? You sly dog."<p>

Sam punched Dean playfully on the arm.  
>"Actually you are going down to see her."<br>"What? Did you set me up Dean?"  
>"No, it's a job interview, Poindexter."<br>"A job interview?"  
>"Yeah. Jenny wants you to call in the morning a set up a time for an interview. I wouldn't worry too much, you're <em>overqualified<em> if you catch my drift. She's real nice too."  
>"Dean, you know I have to go back to school, don't you?"<br>"Relax Sammy; they want one afternoon and two evenings a week out of you. Possibly a day during the weekend and some extra days when you have holidays. They know you go to Stanford. It's only four and five hour shifts and you make three times what you are on at the supermarket. Even better, it's unpacking books and putting them on shelves and then refilling the sales floor. There is a little sales stuff if you want it but you won't have to make coffee."  
>"Make coffee?"<br>"They just put a coffee shop in and did a major revamp. Apparently they bought the shop next door and turned the two stores into one big one. They extended the hours as well to get more customers in and compete with a store a few blocks away. That's why they need more staff. Some of the staff they had in books elected to be trained up for the café. They seem like nice people and you won't have to work as long. It's working with books Sammy; that should make you hard just thinking about it."  
>"Dean!" Sam exclaimed then laughed. "I see your crude mouth is coming back."<p>

They shared a laugh before Sam sobered. It occurred to him as he shoved Dean playfully that it was the most he had heard him speak since he had been at the apartment.  
>"So you found me a job huh? On your first trip out on your own. Thanks Dean. I think I will give this Jenny a call now. Its sounds perfect, just what I need."<br>"Jeez Sammy, keen much?"  
>"Hell yes! It's so much closer and I might get a staff discount."<br>"See I told knew you would get hard over it."  
>"Dean!"<br>Dean laughed at Sam's enthusiasm as he rolled his eyes and reached for the phone.

Sam took his phone to the bedroom and Dean could hear his brother's voice rise and fall as he spoke excitedly. Dean went to the kitchen and made a late lunch of sandwiches and coffee for the both of them and took them back to the living room. He was suddenly worried he had overstepped his bounds by setting up this job for Sam. Sam came in a few minutes later with a big grin on his face. He clapped Dean on the shoulder as he sat down.  
>"Man, Jenny really liked you. She said if I'm half as nice as you I would have no problems. I'm going in for a trial run tomorrow, I hope that's okay."<br>"Yeah, It's great Sammy," Dean grinned at his brother as he pushed a plate of sandwiches towards him.  
>"Thanks Dean. It was really nice of you to set this up and put a good word in for me."<p>

Dean looked down embarrassed by Sam's unnecessary thanks.  
>"I mean it, if this works out, I can leave the supermarket and have a job close by. Man, less hours and more time to study. It's just what I need."<br>"Don't count your chickens Sammy. Although in this case I think you have a ninety nine percent certainty." Dean smiled happy Sam was okay with Dean setting it up.  
>"Great huh? I can't wait 'til tomorrow. Did you get some books?"<p>

Sam ate with one hand while he looked at the titles in Dean's stack. "_'The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger'._ Hey you've read this. You even read it to me when I was little."  
>"Yeah you liked it almost as much as I did."<br>"Nowhere near as much. You wore your copy out almost. A cowboy book by a horror writer. You loved it. You could quote it to me without opening the book."  
>Sam liked the slight blush climbing up Dean's neck.<br>"_'The Drawing of the Three'_. That's the second part right? Where he pulls Eddie and that chick with two personalities out." Sam continued.  
>"Yeah and <em>'The Wastelands'<em> where he draws out …"  
>"…Jake. I remember him. He was our favorite. Remember that time we went to New York and you took me to fifth and forty third and Lexington and fifty forth?"<p>

Dean was surprised Sam remembered the street names.  
>"We played tic-tac-toe like those guys did in the book but at a bus stop."<br>"Yeah and you bought me that rose at the flower shop at the corner of second and forty sixth. That was cool."  
>"Yeah I remember." Dean had been fifteen at the time and the two of them had fun in the city for the day while their dad spent the day chasing down leads on a hunt. "We went to co-op city as well."<p>

Dean had them back just before John got back and it had been their secret that they never told anyone.  
>"Eddie and Henry. <em>The Dean Brothers<em>." Sam said wistfully.  
>"Fun times," Dean said sincerely.<br>"Yeah," Sam agreed.

TBC


	21. Hidden knowledge

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter twenty one Hidden knowledge

Sam held up a thick book with the title _'Wizard and Glass'_. "Hey is this one of them?"  
>"Yep. It's the fourth one. It came out in nineteen ninety seven so I'm hoping it will jog a memory cause I'm sure I would have read it."<br>"Well I've never seen it before but you could have had it stashed away."  
>"Or read it once and had to leave it. A book this big Dad wouldn't allow I'd bet."<br>Sam sighed as he finished his coffee. He wondered if Dean was remembering or getting his negative backlash.  
>"Jenny said there is a fifth volume coming out next year so something to look forward to," Dean grinned steering the conversation away from their dad.<p>

Sam looked again at the stack of books Dean had. Aside from the four Stephen King books there was a couple Kurt Vonneguts. Heavy reading for someone who used to say he hated school.  
>"Dean, are you planning on reading all these?"<br>"That's the general idea when you buy a book Sammy," Dean laughed, "It's okay if I leave them here when I go right?"  
>"Yeah that's fine but don't you think it's a lot to get through."<br>Sam was guessing that amount of books would take over three weeks or four weeks to read and he was sure Dean would want to be back on the road once his memory was back.  
>"Nah, couple of weeks at the most. It's not like I have anything else to do."<br>"I thought you didn't like reading."

Dean had stopped reading aloud to Sam when he started junior high. He told Sam he was too grown up for it. Sam had missed it for some time, but didn't say anything thinking Dean wanted him to be grown up about it.  
>"What gave you that idea?" Dean said honestly.<br>To Sam, Dean looked like a young kid with curiosity strong on his face.  
>"Just, you stopped reading to me and I never saw you reading much after that. I guess I thought it was one of the reasons you dropped out of school."<p>

Dean looked torn for a moment then said softly, "That's what I wanted you to think, Sammy."  
>"Why?" Sam said quickly and with some force.<br>"So leaving school wouldn't be such an issue with you and Dad. If you thought I was a dumbass it wouldn't matter if I quit."  
>"I never thought you were a dumbass."<br>"It doesn't matter. I left and looked after you and Dad that was my real job after all."

Dean said it with such conviction Sam almost believed him. Almost.  
>"Didn't you ever want to go to college Dean?"<br>"I guess but by the time they got around to talking about majors for college, I already knew what I was going to major in."  
>"Hunting."<br>"Can't exactly take classes."  
>"Hell you could give classes."<br>"Very funny," Dean said seriously.  
>"Nope if there was a hunting school you would be the guy at the front teaching."<br>"I don't really think I'm the teaching type."  
>"I don't know about that. You're a born leader."<br>"How do you figure that?" Dean asked incredulously.  
>"You…hate to be in line in traffic you prefer to be at the front, or laughing your ass off at them as you make the lights and they have to stop," Sam grinned. "You…used to always volunteer to have your injections first at school. In fact you even cut in to get to the front. In classes, you always stepped up first to give a presentation. Oh…and you taught me everything I know about hunting and about life as well."<br>"That's what makes a leader? I thought it was the ability to give an order."

Dean was talking about their Dad.  
>"No that's not it at all. Especially if the soldiers don't listen to the order. A leader always has the respect of his troops."<br>'And you will always have mine Dean.'  
>Dean nodded in thought. "It's about knowing the situation and using your head too."<br>"See I told you," Sam grinned.

Dean was reluctant to break Sam's good mood so he smiled and gave him a playful shove.  
>"So anyway you have work tomorrow. Should be good."<br>"Are you sure you're alright with it?"  
>"No problems. I'm a big boy Sammy."<br>"I just mean you haven't been out of the hospital long and you're still recovering."  
>"It's cool Sam. I'm just glad I was able to do something to help you. It's okay isn't it? Not overstepping the line?"<br>'Was Dean unsure and nervous?'  
>"No Dean. It's the best thing to happen to me for a long time. In fact, let's go out and celebrate. How about …movies? You feel up to it?"<br>"We don't have to Sammy."  
>"Are you up for it or not?" The steel edge in Sam's voice showed he wasn't backing down and wanted to do this.<br>"Yeah I could."  
>"Well I really want to."<p>

Sam jumped up to grab the local paper and flick rapidly to the cinema page. He laid it in front of them.  
>"What looks good?"<br>"Well obviously I haven't heard of any of them so you should pick."  
>"Okay well. Um. Oh I know. They have one showing of '<em>The Fellowship of the Ring'<em> showing down the road. I thought it was done at the cinema but we are in luck."  
>"Is that like '<em>The Hobbit'<em>?  
>"Yeah based on Tolkien's book you know it?"<br>Dean nodded.  
>'Dean knows Tolkien?'<br>"Have you seen it?"  
>"Yeah but I liked it enough to want to see again I just never got around to it."<br>"Sounds okay."  
>"It pretty long though. You sure you will be okay?"<br>"Yeah it's sitting down so no problem."  
>"We have half an hour before we need to leave. Do you need to change or anything?"<br>"Is it okay if I have a quick shower?"  
>"Yeah no problem. I can dress while you're in there."<p>

They left half an hour later and went to the cinema where they had a good time watching the movie. Dean was very quiet letting Sam enjoy a movie he obviously enjoyed. He nudged Sam and grinned every time someone said _Samwise _making Sam chuckle softly. On the way home they grabbed a pizza and ate in front of the TV still talking about the movie.  
>"What are you planning to do tomorrow when I'm at work?"<br>"I dunno. Read I guess."  
>"How about I show you the internet?"<br>"Internet?"  
>"Yeah. It's better if I show you. Who knows, it may bring some memories back for you."<p>

Sam spent the next hour and a half showing Dean how the internet worked. By the end, Dean was confident he knew how to work Sam's laptop without killing it and was getting pretty good at looking stuff up on the net. Sam wasn't too worried about Dean killing his laptop because it was an old second hand clunker that he hoped to trade up some time soon. Sam thought Dean could look up each year he was missing and do a more in depth search than the almanac. They went to bed happy in the knowledge that Dean had something to occupy him the next day.

TBC


	22. Bright Burst

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter twenty two Bright burst 

Sam was up bright and early the next morning looking forward to starting at the bookstore. He was still finding it hard to believe Dean had found him such an ideal job so quickly. He cooked breakfast for Dean, who appeared as he was serving it. When he came out of the bathroom dressed and shaved after his shower, Dean surprised him with a lunch wrapped in foil. He surprised him even more when he hugged him softly and wished him good luck. Sam headed to his new job with a light heart and a bright attitude. He felt like Dean's hug would get him through the day no matter what was thrown at him.

Dean hobbled about the apartment giving it a tidy up once Sam had gone off to work. He grabbed out Sam's cleaning stuff and spent an hour in the bathroom doing his bit to help out. The room was fairly small and pretty clean because they both cleaned up after themselves but Dean's back, legs and broken arm made him have to rest every now and again. He still had that slight headache he always seemed to have now as well. Once he was happy he had done all he could in the way of cleaning up, Dean sat at the table with Sam's laptop. He was going to do what Sam advised but after an hour of dates and names that meant very little to him, Dean decided to look on a smaller scale. What about hunts he had been on during those times? They were more personal than world events and might trigger something.

He started on random small town newspaper archived articles looking for weird events that might be a hunt. That was how they found one in the first place so it should do the trick. He concentrated on November 1997 looking in as many small town newspapers as possible. He was about to shut down the computer and get lunch when he found a report of some wild dog attacks in Arizona. Something about the article had him scrunching his brow and rubbing his forehead as he read. As he finished the story his head ached as he thought hard. It was like grasping a slippery fish.

Dean just couldn't get the memory from where it was hiding. He pushed the heels of his hand into his eyes causing stars and flashes of light to scatter across the blackness. There was a bright white burst of pain and suddenly he saw Sam and honed in on him. He was fourteen or so and running towards him yelling something frantically. His hand was steady as it entered the vision pointing behind Sam as he ran to his left. Dean's hand jerked and there was a flash. He had shot something in the dark and suddenly he was wrapped up in Sam. Sam was hugging him hard and Dean's hands pushed him back a little roughly and wiped blood from his face with his fingers. The vision faded out but Dean got the idea it was very important. Sam's first hunt? He didn't know how he knew he just did. It seemed like he had found the right way to remember his past. When Dean took his hands off his face to get painkillers and water, he noticed his hands were covered in blood like they had been in the memory. This time from his own bloody nose.

Sam was actually having fun working for the first time in his life. Okay apart from school and when Dean made hunts and training fun. Until yesterday, he was thanking his lucky stars he had a job packing shelves for some extra cash. Now he was revelling in a job that worked his brain more than his body.

Jenny had turned out to be very nice and she gave him a good tour of the store and showed him his duties. He was supplied with a uniform that was a black polo shirt and his own jeans plus an apron to keep him clean. As Dean had told him, he was unpacking boxes in a surprisingly good sized store room out the back of the store. Unlike the supermarket, the area was very clean and books were given a once over with a dry cloth before being placed on the shelf. Boxes were recycled in a hopper next to the back door.

Jenny was in the store room as well but helping to erect new shelves in the new section of stockroom that had been acquired when they bought out the store next door. They were also setting up a bigger area for unpacking books that would be ready to use in the next week or so. Jenny told Sam that they would be getting some much bigger shipments than they normally did at this time of year to fill the new shelves. Jenny was genuinely excited at the stores growth and her mood was contagious among all the staff members of the store that Sam met. They all seemed to be very friendly and happy to have him on board. Once he had unpacked all the books he went to a small basket where there was a list of orders to be filled.

Sam pulled the orders, put them on a cart, and took them behind the large desk on the shop floor where there was a shelf for orders. He then got another sheet from a different basket and pulled books from the back shelves that had been sold on the shop floor that he had to replenish. There were also a couple of new books he had to find room for. Once all his stockroom duties were done, he took his apron off and helped customers on the floor and tidied the store for an hour. Jenny found him and gave him his hours for the next two weeks if he was happy with the job. Sam accepted and Jenny explained the payroll system and then told him he could head home for the day and would see him Monday. With it being Friday it would give Sam the weekend with his brother and he could get used to his new job before starting back at school. Sam headed home with a spring in his step. He was looking forward to resigning at his other job and spending the weekend with Dean.

Dean had a quick lunch of sandwiches after swallowing a few of his pain tablets. Unfortunately for him, since his memory recall, he had the mother of all headaches and a flowing bloody nose. He didn't think it would be a great idea to stare at the computer screen for a while so he gathered his dirty clothes, found any of Sam's that looked likely candidates and headed for the laundry. He took the Impalas keys with him since he knew Sam had walked to work that morning. He put the laundry in and then went to the Impala and rooted around in the trunk looking for money in his hiding places and change for the dryer. In a back recess under the weapons stash, he found three battered old books. The Stephen King gunslinger series he had just bought. Dean chuckled as he wrapped them back up in an old AC/DC T shirt and put them back. He found plenty of change for the dryer and eight hundred dollars stashed around the car. He also found a note book. He recognized it at once as the book his dad had given him when he turned twelve. His own journal of sorts. Like the one his dad had. If he wanted information on what hunts he had done, he had definitely found it. Pleased with his haul, Dean put all but two hundred dollars away and the notebook.

TBC


	23. Road trip

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter twenty three Road trip

Dean sat and watched the clothes go 'round in the dryer for a bit then decided to read his book. He was tempted to skip ahead to a few years ago but thought it might be better if he read from the beginning, just in case his head exploded. The headache from before lunch was still sitting between his eyes even with the medication he took so he was going to try to be a little gentler at least while he had his headache. The last thing he needed was another bloody nose.

Dean was chuckling over his first few lame attempts at writing down serious stuff about hunts when Sam came strolling in.  
>"Hey Dean. You doin' laundry? You didn't have to. I could have done that."<br>"I thought you might be tired after your first day."  
>"No way. It was a piece of cake. Thanks again by the way. It's a great job. The pay is great like you said and everyone was really nice. I'm going up to call the manager of my other job and quit."<br>Dean pushed up from the chair.  
>"I will just get these out and come up. I gotta hear that."<p>

Sam helped Dean with the laundry and they took it upstairs. Sam was impressed with the way Dean was getting up and down the stairs now. He was a lot less worried about him breaking his neck on them. Dean listened with half an ear as Sam spoke to his other manager and he made them dinner. Sam went to the kitchen to help out when he had finished on the phone.  
>"Doesn't sound like they wanted to let you go Sammy."<br>"No, something about notice but I was casual and one of the conditions of my employment was that I could leave whenever I wanted so they had to let me go."  
>"Cool. This is ready."<p>

The guys took their dinner to the table and watched TV. Sam looked around as he ate noticing that the place was very clean and tidy. Was that cleaning products he smelled?  
>"Dean, did you clean?"<br>"Yeah a bit. Before you say it, I just wanted to help out. I haven't really done a lot since I've been here."  
>"You just got me the best job I could have hoped for."<p>

Sam gripped Dean's shoulder firmly showing Dean he was serious.  
>"Well besides that." Dean shrugged.<br>"Don't worry Dean. I love having you here. In fact I think we should do something this weekend. What do you think? Is there anything you would like to do?"  
>"Well we are in California so the beach maybe?"<br>"We could go down to Long Beach then hit the casinos at night."  
>"Vegas?"<br>"Yeah it's a four hour drive from the beach so…drive to the beach tomorrow morning lay on the beach till sunset. Drive to Vegas and gamble till morning and go back and sleep on the beach Sunday. Back to the casino Sunday night and leave to come back Monday morning. I don't have to work till four so I could catch a few hours if I need them."  
>"I like your thinking Sammy." Dean grinned.<p>

It sounded like a good way to clear the cobwebs and relax for a bit. His doctor would definitely go for it and Dean liked the idea of doing something fun with his brother.  
>"Taught by the best. So you think you will be okay?"<br>Sam was referring to Dean still using a crutch with his arm in plaster.  
>"Yeah I think so. I don't have any shorts though." Dean grinned like he was making a joke. He doubted he would do shorts.<br>"Neither do I. Want to go out and get some? Then we can pack and get an early night so we can get on the road early."  
>"Shorts? Really?"<br>"Yeah. We could get those long ones that come down past your knees if you want."  
>"Yeah okay," Dean said slowly, wanting to play along but still doubtful.<p>

They went to the kitchen and cleaned up then drove over to Wal-Mart and bought an inexpensive pair of long shorts each. Dean was less freaked out about the shorts when he saw they really were quite long. They would have to pull them up if they wanted to get a tan. Sam also bought a bottle of sunscreen and two large drinking bottles to make sure Dean kept his fluids up. They helped each other pack then turned in for the night.

Sam was up before Dean the next morning and made grilled sandwiches to take with them for breakfast on the road. By the time he was dressed and ready, Dean was waiting for his turn in the shower. They got going at 8am and were soon barreling down the freeway. Dean sat quietly and read his notebook while he ate his breakfast. By the time they were in South Beach, Dean had caught up to the time he could remember.

Instead of taking the turn for South Beach Sam went further south down the coast.  
>"What's going on Sammy?"<br>"When I went downstairs to let Mark know I would be away for the weekend he gave me directions to a more secluded beach. He said it's a little out of the way and hard to find but worth the effort if we want a nice quiet spot. He's betting that South Beach will be full of tourists, even at this time of year."  
>"That's a good idea 'cause it's a nice day. Less people staring the better."<br>"It doesn't matter what people think Dean. Just enjoy yourself."

It took some searching to find the narrow walkway to the beach even with Dean's eagle eye and good directions. They grabbed a duffle bag stocked with beach supplies and Dean surprised Sam by walking down the thin tree lined path without his crutch. The path was so well hidden they only pushed on because they knew there was a beach at the end. Dean was limping a little by the time they made the small stretch of beach surrounded by cliffs. Just enough sand to be a beach without the cliffs stopping the sun from warming their skin as they lay down on the towels Sam had packed. It was so private and secluded they had no hesitation at slipping off their T-shirts to soak up some sun.

Dean had a slight headache from reading in the car so after he applied sun block he rolled onto his stomach and went to sleep.

TBC


	24. Life's a beach

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter twenty four Life's a beach 

Sam stayed awake reading a novel for the first time in a long time just for the fun of it. He looked over at his brother's slumbering form, smiling at how relaxed he looked until his eyes found a long scar running down his back close to his spine. Sam sucked in a breath as he leaned over and ran a finger ever so lightly over the mark. Dean's back muscles twitched under his fingers and Sam noticed how many new scars Dean had and how thin his brother was even from the back. He couldn't remember ever seeing him looking so thin before. He knew Dean had been wearing extra layers but was starting to realize just how much he was covering up.

After an hour, Dean woke and took a long sip of water before lying on his back. Sam waited until Dean's breath evened out in sleep before looking at the new scars that covered his chest. Sam could see the new ones from the robbery easily but there were plenty of scars that were slightly older that Sam had never seen. He must have got them after Sam had left. Sam wondered just how much hunting Dean was doing on his own. He also saw how thin Dean was after he laid down. His stomach went in a long way and his muscles stood out like crazy. Sam caught himself staring at Dean's new scars and purposely went back to his book.

Halfway through the afternoon, Dean jumped up from a seemingly deep sleep startling Sam as he staggered towards the water. At first Sam thought his brother might have been sleepwalking until he turned and beckoned Sam to join him. Sam thought Dean was out of his mind going swimming with a cast and how cold the water would be but sighed with relief when Dean sat in the knee deep smooth water keeping his arm up above his head. Sam followed him in, at first shocked by the cold water, but then feeling so refreshed he dived under feeling wonderful. They played around in the water for a bit, Dean showing Sam he could still skip even round rocks from the sea bed with his left hand. Sam was soon doing it as well as Dean after a quick lesson. They laid back on the beach after a while feeling more relaxed than they had for a long time.

When the light started to fade from the sky, Sam realized they had been out there all day with only a sandwich each and a couple of bottles of water. Dean walked fairly well back to the car and Sam was amazed by his tenacity. Sam drove along the coast until he came upon some outdoor showers by the side of the road. They took turns at standing under the spray in just their shorts and Sam was not surprised that Dean got more wolf whistles from passing cars than he did. They toweled off then took turns to change in the back seat while the other threw a towel over the back window just in case.

Sam headed east to Las Vegas and they made good time getting there in three and a half hours. The first thing Sam did was make sure Dean ate. They were both wearing dress pants and shirts without ties so they had no problems eating in the restaurant of one of the bigger casinos. Dean ate enough to please Sam then they headed in to play. Dean went straight for the Blackjack table, telling Sam it was the quickest way to get cash. Sam got bored of it quickly and went off to play the slots and wait for Dean. Sam had lost only five dollars when Dean hobbled up to him. He didn't have his crutch tonight preferring to leave it in the so he wouldn't lose it. Sam expressed his concern at the way Dean was hobbling but Dean brushed it off and led the way to the poker tables. He didn't know why, but he felt a pull to this game and he was feeling lucky as he sat down.

Dean found that somehow he could guess what cards were left in the deck as he played but had no idea how he was doing it. It must have been a skill he had developed in his early twenties because he had no clue how he knew when to fold, bluff and bet as easily as he did. Even with his emotional shield missing he seemed to have a good poker face and he quickly stripped the table of money while pretending he was just having a lucky streak. Sam did fairly well, but didn't seem surprised by Dean's luck. He left Dean to it at 4am and went for food then played Blackjack for a while. He played at a table where he could see Dean and Dean would know he was there if he needed him.

At 5am, Sam glanced at Dean's table to find he was playing against only one other guy. As he watched the guy groaned and threw up his hands. Instead of getting angry the guy stood and clapped Dean on the back of the shoulder with a smile and bent to whisper something in Dean's ear covering the left side of Dean's body altogether. Sam felt himself tense watching the guy's every move but Dean's left shoulder moved slightly so Sam's knew his left hand was moving a little. Sam didn't relax until the guy stepped back and could see Dean was unharmed and smiling as he shook the guys hand and he left the table. Dean had a couple more hands against the house then got up to find his brother.

Sam was surprised at the amount of chips Dean had when they went to cash up for the night. It seemed he had been putting some in his pocket all night so he didn't frighten other players off. Sam wasn't sure but he thought it might have been illegal to do that. He must have done it very stealth like not to get caught. Dean slipped the cash in his inside front pocket then they went outside to a hotdog stand and got more food before going back to the car. They got out of the city quickly just stopping to gas up. Dean bought a few bottles of water and a large bag of snacks which he stowed with their beach stuff. They both used the bathroom to swap clothes for their day on the beach.

TBC


	25. Counting Cards

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter twenty five Counting cards 

Sam drove straight to the beach they had used the day before and found it empty again. Before Dean settled down to sleep, he pulled out his wad of cash and split them, handing half to Sam.  
>"What do you want me to do with this?"<br>"Keep it. It's for you. For putting up with me and what not."  
>"It doesn't cost anywhere near this to look after you Dean. Besides I wanted to."<p>

Sam tried to hand the cash back, but Dean refused.  
>"No you keep it. You might need it."<br>"What about you? It would keep you in motels for a long time. You wouldn't have to go out and hustle pool either. Dad would like the extra money too." Sam's bitter tone at the end of his exchange caught Dean's attention.  
>"Why let dad have it? You deserve it more." Dean surprised himself at what he said.<br>"Do you remember something Dean?"  
>"No that just came out. Just like the gambling last night. I have no idea how I was doing it but I seemed to know what cards were coming out."<br>"You were counting the cards Dean."  
>"Counting cards?"<br>'What the hell?' Dean thought.

He knew what it was of course, but thought it was out of his league.  
>"Yeah you worked out how to do it when you were twenty or so. Actually when you were nineteen you started doing it. By twenty you were doing it so naturally dad couldn't even tell you were doing it. He accused you of reading his mind a few times after the cheating accusations were proved wrong."<br>'Reading his mind over counting cards? Great one dad.'  
>"How?" Dean asked.<br>"Which one?"  
>"All of it."<br>"Dad had a professional gambler check the pack then watch you play he said there was no way you were cheating. He thought you might have been counting cards but he couldn't have been sure. Dad never believed the counting cards part but I asked you once and you showed me. I have no idea how you picked it up. You tried to teach me but it went in one ear and out the other."  
>"It's weird, I don't even know I'm doing it. How am I doing it if I cant remember learning it?"<br>"Which is why you are so good at it. No one knows you are doing it. Somehow you worked out a way to keep it on a subconscious level maybe thats why you can still do it. It would be extremely difficult to catch someone who looks like they are just relaxing and having a good time. It took lots of practice. This shows it works."

Sam waved the stack of cash at him.  
>"Huh. You keep it Sammy. I'll get more tonight."<br>"If you're sure."  
>"Yep."<br>"Okay."  
>Dean decided to sleep after they had both stored their cash and Sam felt himself drifting off as well. They had a swim, or a paddle in Dean's case, at lunchtime before they ate then relaxed on their towels as the afternoon started. Dean woke mid-afternoon and drank some water and had a snack.<p>

Sam was completely out of it but his back was getting a little red so Dean rubbed more sunscreen into his back and legs then draped a towel over the length of him just in case. A grumpy sunburned Sam he didn't need. They seemed to be getting on well and Dean didn't want to spoil it. Dean reapplied his own sunscreen and read his journal for a while. He started getting slight flashes of memory after twenty minutes or so. He shut the book and closed his eyes as he was getting a nice headache. He lay down and thought about what he had read as the sun warmed his skin and sent him in to a restless sleep.

When Sam woke late that afternoon, he noticed Dean was mumbling in his sleep. He listened hard to try to glean what Dean was dreaming about but it was sounding very muddled up. Sam picked up his book and read until Dean yelled 'NO' fairly loud and sat up looking ruffled and unsure of where he was. Sam went to his side and reassured him he was okay. Dean eventually calmed down.  
>"That will teach me to read this shit before I fall asleep."<br>Dean slapped the cover of the notebook lying on a rock close by.  
>"You were reading your journal? No wonder you had nightmares. It's amazing you could read that thing with handwriting like yours."<br>"Ha, ha."

Sam's joke had done the job of lightening the mood. They had another short swim before packing up and going for showers by the roadside then changed in a gas station bathroom before going back into Las Vegas. When they got to the strip, Dean insisted they go to a different casino than the night before. It was close by the one they were at the morning before but smaller and more expensive looking. Dean didn't seem fussed by the fact there was more security at this establishment. He just nudged Sam with his elbow and told him to be careful.

Sam was more than happy with the eatery as it had a much better selection of salads and healthy food which was free to people who bought a certain amount of gaming chips. Dean and Sam easily qualified for free food and drinks while they were there. When they had eaten their fill, they headed for the gaming tables. Dean headed for Blackjack again but Sam decided to have a look at the video poker machines which were a new addition. Sam played for an hour before checking on Dean. He couldn't find him at first but then found him coming back from the direction of the bathrooms. Sam followed Dean to the poker tables where they sat and took the table apart for two hours. Dean went in search for a new table of victims while Sam went to get more food and drinks.

TBC


	26. Paying it forward

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter twenty six Paying it forward

Sam was starting to feel tired even though he had spent a good portion of the day asleep on the beach. He played the video poker game again yawning every few minutes. At one am, Dean appeared at his shoulder.  
>"Tired Sammy?"<br>"I'm okay."  
>"Yeah, well I can feel the breeze from your yawning way over at the poker table."<br>"Very funny Dean." Sam yawned again ruining the face he was trying to show.  
>"Here. Take this." Dean handed Sam a thin piece of plastic.<p>

Sam frowned at Dean.  
>"Room 506 up on level 5. Get a few hours' sleep and I will come up at eight and wake you for breakfast. It's been ordered."<br>"You got me a room?"  
>"No. I won you a room last night, well this morning. It's okay, I checked. The room is empty and the guy paid up until ten am today. That gives you …" Dean looked at his watch, "seven or eight hours sleep if you want it. The bed is freshly made and there is even a little chocolate on the pillow for you."<p>

Sam frowned in thought.  
>"Was it a guy in a floral shirt about this tall? Wire rimmed glasses?" Sam recalled the guy who had patted Dean on the shoulder at the poker table in the early hours of the morning before.<br>"Yeah he was dumb enough to bet his last night's accommodation. He was out of cash anyway."  
>"Did you go up there after you finished at the poker table earlier?"<br>"Yeah just wanted to check it all out for you."  
>Dean looked down knowing he had been caught out. Sam put a hand on Dean's forearm.<br>"Don't be embarrassed Dean, that was a nice thing to do. I really did think you were coming back from the bathroom by the way- nicely played."  
>"I checked at the desk as well just to make sure. Everything is settled."<br>"Thanks Dean, really. You don't wanna come up?"  
>"There is only the one bed. Before you ask it's a single. A big single but a single nonetheless. I'm okay down here."<p>

Sam frowned again trying to work out if this was a classic Dean prank or the real thing. Dean took the decision away by helping him up from his seat. Dean led Sam to the cashier where they cashed all of Sam's chips and some of Dean's. Dean led the way up to the fifth floor and Sam used the key card to open the door. Sam was pleasantly surprised by the very nice room and as Dean had said with one single bed. Dean used the wall safe to lock their money away, keeping the chips he still had in his pocket.

Dean drew the curtains then went to the closet and pulled out a nice fluffy robe that he handed to Sam.  
>"Grab yourself a shower if you like. The door locks from the inside so if you think I am playing a trick on you there will be no need to worry."<br>Sam frowned again.  
>"Look sleep in your pants if you are still worried. But I swear I'm on the level. Just grab some sleep and I will wake you later. I can come and check on you if you want."<br>Sam finally sighed and smiled at Dean. "Thanks Dean. I think I will. Don't worry about checking on me just keep your phone on. What time did you organize breakfast?"  
>"Eight."<br>"Cool. How about waking me at seven thirty?"  
>"Done. Have a good sleep Sammy."<p>

Dean patted Sam on the shoulder and walked to the door and slipped the 'Do not disturb' sign off the inside of the door and hung it on the outside door handle, shutting the door with a soft click. Sam sighed and looked around the room. It was a much more expensive room than he was used to and he felt slightly uncomfortable. But he had to admit a rest would be good. He shrugged his shoulders a few times to relieve the tension then decided on a short shower as Dean suggested. Sam really enjoyed the hot water then the crisp fresh sheets as he lay down to sleep. He kept the robe on over his T shirt and boxers deciding he trusted Dean but it didn't hurt to be a little careful.

Dean worked the poker then the Blackjack table until seventy forty-five then went upstairs to Sam's room after he had cashed in for the final time. Dean had the plastic key so he let himself in and turned on the TV so Sam would wake up slowly. Dean sat on the couch watching the TV as Sam started to wake. Dean noticed Sam had thrown the robe off sometime during his sleep as it was pooled at the end of the bed. There was a knock at the door and Dean let breakfast in.

Dean had ordered enough food for the both of them plus a few more and sat down as he laid it out on the table while Sam stood, stretched and stumbled over to the table.  
>"Thanks Dean. For the room as well. I slept great."<br>Sam was feeling so grateful he leaned down and hugged his big brother from behind. Dean looked up at him in surprise and Sam laughed and hugged him tighter.  
>"You're a great big brother Dean. Still looking after me."<p>

Sam ran a hand through Dean's spiky hair. It was something he hadn't done since he was about fourteen and realized how comforting it was to him and how much he missed it when Dean didn't pull away as expected but leaned into the touch.  
>"It's just a room Sammy and I won it in a poker game. It's not like I did it from scratch or anything," Dean muttered clearly embarrassed by the fuss.<br>"You would have though Dean. You would have and that's what counts and the fact you checked it out first and offered it to me when you could have used it yourself."  
>Sam stroked Dean's hair with one arm still around his shoulder.<br>"It's what we do for each other Sammy."

Dean said it so quietly Sam almost didn't hear it. Sam stayed where he was for a few seconds enjoying the moment.  
>'I'm holding Dean and he is accepting the comfort. Who would have thought it?'<br>Sam wrapped both arms around Dean's shoulders and put his head softly on Dean's letting the hairs tickle his nose. He was enjoying the closeness of a warm body in his arms but suddenly felt he knew what a lion tamer must feel like. He was holding a person that could be volatile and impassive but was showing his submissive and benevolent side for the moment. Sam felt very lucky. Sam felt he had taken enough from Dean for the moment so he gave his hair a last ruffle before looking at the food and stepping back from Dean.  
>"Wow Dean. Have you invited a few other people for breakfast?"<br>"No. I just wanted you to have a big meal before we left and you liked the food downstairs so much I kind of ordered one of everything on the breakfast menu."  
>"Excellent, it looks great. Thanks."<br>"Cool. Is it okay if I grab a shower before we go?"  
>"Yeah go ahead."<p>

They ate breakfast then Dean went in for a shower while Sam packed his stuff up after getting dressed. Dean came out looking refreshed and happy as he stuffed the money he had won in his inside pockets not forgetting the money in the safe. Sam took the money Dean handed him from the safe and with a last check to make sure they had everything, they left the motel and went out to the Impala.

The drive back to Sam's apartment was made up with comfortable chatter and questions from Dean and comments from Sam as Dean read aloud from his notebook. It triggered more memories and he had another headache and small bloody nose as the memories seemed to dump back into his brain. He had to shut his eyes for a while and feigned sleep so Sam would not be worried by how much pain he was in. He wiped the blood away with his sleeve when Sam was concentrating on traffic.

By the time they got back, Dean felt he remembered almost everything up to when he was around twenty. Sam had been sixteen and just starting to create choppy waves between him and their father about hunting. Dean could recall watching them argue in a diner and feeling so embarrassed he had walked back to the motel on his own. When his dad and brother had shown up half an hour later that night had continued with stony silence that Dean had could almost visibly see in the air. Dean felt as depressed about his family's instability as he did back when it originally occurred. He was starting to understand why Sam seemed to have such a problem with their father at these days.

TBC


	27. Always outnumbered but never out gunned

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter twenty seven Always outnumbered but never out gunned

Once he had helped Sam unpack and put the laundry in, Dean changed into sweats and got some buckets of water and washed the car. By the time he finished and toweled the Impala off, Dean was back to using his crutch as he staggered back up the stairs. His back and legs were letting him know he had done too much on the weekend and his head throbbed hard. When he let himself into the apartment he found Sam had left him a ham and cheese sandwich and a can of beer on the table. Dean frowned that Sam had left him the beer since he hadn't had a drink since he had been out of hospital. Dean shrugged and lay down on the couch knowing Sam would be lying down for a couple of hours before work that afternoon. Dean got through his sandwich and half his beer before staring up at the ceiling sorting through the confused memories that had hit him in the car. He found it strange that the memories stopped when he was around twenty instead of getting them all back but at least it was a start. He fell to sleep with the TV playing softly in the background.

Sam woke two hours later and immediately began the search for his brother. Dean had gone down to clean the car against his wishes refusing any and all help he tried to give him. Sam sensed Dean might need a little time alone after reading his hunting notes on the trip back that morning. He was also worried that Dean seemed to have a fairly big headache that had stayed with him after he had put the book down and closed his eyes for a while. Sam knew Dean hadn't been sleeping just resting his eyes and trying to back the worst of the headache off. He could tell when he had given up and opened his bleary looking eyes that he hadn't had much luck.

Sam found Dean on the couch sleeping on his back with his legs hanging over the end and a hand on his belly. His broken arm was high up across his chest as if he couldn't get it comfortable. Sam draped a blanket over him before going in for a shower and getting ready for work. Once ready, Sam left a note deciding not to wake Dean but to let him sleep a bit. Sam headed off for his first official day of work at his new job and couldn't have been happier. Taking Dean in and helping him with his rehab had proven to be a wise thing to do. Not only had his brother gotten him a great job, but he and Dean had reconnected better that they had in years. Sam enjoyed his work that afternoon and night but found himself missing his brother.

Dean woke up an hour after Sam left for work and stomped downstairs for the laundry. He soon had it upstairs sorted and put away. Dean did his exercises, making sure he did plenty to make up for the weekend. He had an appointment later in the week and wanted to be showing improvement so he could be ready to get back on the road soon. He was concerned that John hadn't called to check and see how he was going. He knew from reading his notebook that he had been doing a few hunts on his own or finishing or starting hunts for his dad before moving off on his own. He had also noticed he had been taking hunts as close to California as possible as soon as Sam had left for Stanford. There were no personal notes around this time, but Dean could guess that he had visited Sam when he was close.

Just by looking at his notebook, he could tell he had had a number of close calls by himself. The acronym BTSOMT was written after two hunts then the acronym ONNUG by another four. The first one was 'by the skin of my teeth' meaning it had been a close call. That had been at last Christmas and he had been a few states away from Sam. There were no more hunts noted until five days after Christmas so Dean suspected he had dropped in to see Sam just for the day.

The second one was 'out numbered not out gunned' which was Dean's way of writing 'bad Intel'. It was what he wrote a few times when he was young and the information about the hunt was wrong in some way. His dad had seen 'bad Intel' written and given him fifty laps for insubordination. Dean knew his dad had been stung by the 'bad Intel' because at the time he had been the one supplying all the Intel. His dad had never suspected ONNUG meant the same thing. Dean had even taught Sam how to read his code and they both had a laugh over it. He was surprised how many times it was written in the book though. It seemed since Sam had left them the Intel had gotten a lot worse. He hoped his dad was all right.

By the time he was finished with his exercises and had a shower and cleaned up, Dean was surprised how tired he was. He made dinner, ensuring there was enough for Sam, which he put away and ate his share sitting in front of '_As Good as It Gets'_. It trigged a fair amount of déjà vu so he guessed he had seen it before as he seemed to know what was roughly going to happen next but not the specific details. When it was finished, Dean wrapped Sam's dinner in foil and placed it in the oven on a low heat. He cleaned the kitchen and gave the apartment a quick once over just because he felt he should help Sam out wherever he could. Dean staggered off to bed intending on reading for a while but fell asleep with the light on and a book on his chest after only ten minutes.

Sam let himself into the apartment forty minutes later sniffing the air as he entered. Sam went to the kitchen as the living room was in darkness and he could see a light on in the bedroom. Sam opened the oven and pulled out a warm plate of food. He removed the foil and sniffed the aromatic food. Dean had out done himself and cooked a great meal for him. Sam went to the bedroom to thank Dean for the food but found him fast asleep. He guessed Dean would have some catching up to do from the weekend. Sam took the book off Dean's chest and grabbed his bedclothes before flipping off the light shutting the door softly and going out to the kitchen to eat. Sam enjoyed the food, glad that the area of Dean's memory that stored his good recipes must have come out of hiding. Sam was sure Dean could write a book on how to make great meals with canned food.

Sam tidied up his dishes and studied for a while in preparation to get back at it the following weeks. He decided he needed some additional text books and wondered if Dean would want to come to the campus bookstore with him for something to do. They weren't mandatory books but suggested reading and Sam being Sam wanted to soak up the knowledge while he could. Sam ended up going to bed quite late as he had got right into what he was reading and the time had flown. He packed up and changed for bed making as little noise as possible as he slipped between the cool sheets.

TBC


	28. Tintin

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story**

Chapter twenty eight Tintin

The next morning Sam was surprised to find Dean gone from the apartment. There was a breakfast bag and a cup of coffee sitting on the kitchen counter and Sam was suddenly reminded of all the times Dean had bought him breakfast growing up. Sam found a note from Dean saying he was going to the library for the morning and that he would be back after lunch. Sam found he was disappointed because he had an earlier shift at the bookstore. He had to start at one so he hoped Dean would be back by then. Sam took his breakfast to the coffee table and flicked the TV on as background noise while he ate and studied. When he got up to get more coffee, Sam was surprised to find fresh milk, orange juice and a few other things in the fridge and pantry. It seemed Dean had been to the store that morning probably when had got the coffee. Sam frowned. Dean had always been fairly helpful but going to the store? Getting breakfast and putting the laundry away the day before.? He noticed Dean had tidied up as well. His brother had been fairly tidy since he had been there so he didn't think the place needed anything but he got the distinct impression Dean had cleaned up a little. Oh and dinner the night before. Sam rubbed his chin as he contemplated Dean hauling groceries back from the store with a crutch and a broken arm. Dean had always been good at adapting to changing situations.

Sam remembered fondly a time years ago when he had called Dean on being able to get out of any situation. They had been stuck in the middle of nowhere hunting what they thought was a Ware-dog. But their Intel was wrong and it had turned out to be a Harpy that had been grounded with a broken wing. Unfortunately for them, they didn't have the right tools for the job and the wing had been repaired when they arrived. The silver bullets they had just bounced off the wings so Dean had found some straight sticks and pushed silver rounds into the ends. Sam had doubled over with laughter, until Dean stabbed the thing as it tried to take their dads head off. He felled it with one spear to the eye and turned to Sam with a smirk.  
>"See, told ya."<p>

Sam could think of a million ways Dean had made something out of nothing. Even way back when he was a young kid Dean had stretched the few dollars their dad had left them and managed to feed them for a week. He never told Sam how he did it no matter how many times he asked. He remembered when their dad had taken them for a hunt when Sam was fourteen. Sam had grumbled one too many times about never needing this kind of stuff one time to many so John had shown Sam the map told him to empty his pockets and told him to meet him at a certain point the next afternoon. After some thought with his brow furrowed John had given Sam only one tool- Dean. He had told Dean not to do anything for Sam but follow his directions to the letter. Dean had saved him from starving, falling down a cliff, getting poison ivy, bitten by a snake and getting lost about ten times. Dean even helped Sam make a tent out of branches that kept the rain out and lit a fire with nothing but sticks. He caught a couple of quails and cooked them over a fire which Sam found tasted just like chicken. Sam had joked over the woven leaf basket of water that Dean was just like '_Tintin'_. Making something out of nothing.

Dean had grinned and ruffled Sam's hair because Dean had been the one to get Sam into the adventures of the young European cartoon adventurer when he had found a scrappy worn copy left behind in one of their motel rooms when Dean was eight. Dean had dragged that copy around till he found more in a library a few months later. Dean gradually accumulated a small stack of the comics which he handed down to Sam when he was twelve. He claimed he was too old for them but Sam sometimes found Dean lying back reading one at night. It made Sam miss Dean even more and he went to the window to see if he was around. The street was empty and Sam went back to his books with a sigh. He could get in the Impala and go look for him but he would have to get ready for work in under an hour anyway. Sam was a little disappointed that Dean hadn't returned by the time he took off for work. He gave the Impala a friendly pat on the way past admiring Dean's cleaning job the day before. Sam enjoyed his second day of work but found himself looking for Dean every time he went out on the shop floor.

Dean sat in the library going over archived newspapers in the local area. He had taken his notebook with him and torn out an unused page and painstakingly written a list of all the hunts he had done in the area and the dates. He was hoping the newspapers around that time would have some articles that might jog his memory. He got a few twigs to the memory area and was in fairly deep before he realized he had worked through lunch meaning Sam would already be heading to work. Dean let out a deep breath. He had been hoping to catch up with Sam before he left. He wanted to give Sam a little time to get used to his job before dropping into the store again.

Dean worked for another hour before heading back to Sam's apartment. He had his crutch with him and had to use it as he closed on the building due to the amount of walking he had done that day. Normally a walk to the store and back would not have bothered him, but the shopping he had carried had got him a little more sore than normal. He had a dull throbbing headache but not as bad as he had several times since he got out of hospital.

TBC


	29. Separation anxiety

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to **rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story**

Chapter twenty nine Separation anxiety 

As Dean predicted, Sam was long gone so Dean had a quick lunch and grabbed up the car keys and headed downstairs. Dean decided to give the car a wax since he had washed it the day before. He got in and slowly and carefully moved her onto the grass under a tree near the back door to the apartment block. There were already marks on the grass like people had used the spot to wash their cars so Dean had no problem parking there. He took his jacket and outer shirt off, enjoying the Californian sunshine as he worked.

Dean did a really good job on the sleek metal, working himself past the point of tiredness and had to stop a few times to use his shirt to pat the sweat off his face. By the time he had finished, he was very tired and it was close to dinner time. Dean decided to leave the car where it was and climbed the stairs slowly. Once he was cleaned up, Dean decided to make lasagna for dinner since he had bought the ingredients that morning. He was a tad tired and once he had the food in the oven, he slumped in front of the TV and fell asleep. He woke just enough to put the cooked food onto the counter to cool before deciding he would go and take a nap before he ate. Dean knew Sam would be home soon and would probably wake him for dinner.

Sam walked home after work still feeling disappointed he hadn't seen Dean all day. He felt sure his brother would have called in to see him. As he rounded the corner to the rear of the apartment block he found the Impala, looking impressive, parked on the grass. Sam stepped closer for a look in the darkening sky. Even in the less than perfect light, he could see Dean had done a great job polishing her. He ran his fingers over the shiny paintwork and was not surprised that his fingers slipped off easily. Dean had done a fantastic job of looking after his baby. Sam was happy to see Dean getting better but sad in a way as it meant he would be leaving soon.

Sam ran up the stairs to his apartment, keen to catch up with his big brother. When he let himself into the apartment, his mouth started to water when he smelled the food that was sitting on the kitchen counter. Sam rolled back the foil and breathed in deeply smiling widely as he did. He knew this would be great. Dean had cooked lasagna a lot for him when they went to Bobby's or anywhere with a half decent kitchen in his early teens. It had been one of his favorites that he had nagged Dean for fairly often.

Sam went to the bedroom and found Dean sound asleep. Sam studied his brother's face concerned by the exhaustion written all over it. Sam debated waking Dean up. He looked so tired but food was waiting for him. In the end he shook Dean softly until he mumbled and cracked his eyes slightly.  
>"Dean, hey buddy. You want some food?"<br>"Mmm, maybe later. Tired, headache."  
>"You sure?"<br>It had to be bad if Dean was admitting to it.  
>"Mmm yeah."<br>"You okay?"  
>Sam saw Dean's brow was scrunched up like he was in pain and his broken arm was in it's now usual position, tucked into Deans' chest held tight by his other hand.<br>"Yeah."  
>"Okay. Thanks for cooking Dean. I will leave some for you."<br>"Okay."  
>Dean was back to sleep before Sam had even stood from his crouch.<p>

As he predicted, the food was wonderful and Sam found it hard to leave some for Dean even though he had made a large tray of the tasty pasta. Sam watched in front of the TV marveling again how clean Dean was keeping the place even though he had told him not to bother. He guessed, when he thought about it, if Dean was in the mindset of how he was at seventeen or so he would be used to cleaning up after himself and doing the cleaning up. If he wasn't on a hunt with John, Dean would be expected to keep the place clean.

Sam cleaned up after himself then showered and changed into sweats before sitting down to study with the TV playing softly in the background. Sam felt himself stealing glances at the bedroom worried about his brother. He had hardly seen him the last couple of days and his last proper conversation had been before his nap after they got back from their weekend. That was Monday morning. It was now Wednesday night and they had hardly spoken in two and a half days. Sam hoped Dean wasn't avoiding him for any reason. The last time they spoke properly, Sam had called Dean a stubborn ass when he went down to clean the car refusing his help. Sam had been joking a little and smiling when he said it but Dean may have taken it the wrong way. Eventually though Sam went to bed, careful not to wake Dean even though it looked like a train wouldn't wake him he was sleeping so deeply. Sam nodded off quickly lulled by his big brother's steady breathing.

Dean woke up at one in the morning in something of a panic. He had just had a horrible nightmare of Sam arguing with someone just outside his vision time and time again like the memory of his mind had overlapped the film to many times. Dean was glad he had not cried out in his sleep like he had in the dream. Getting his family to stop fighting had seemed like an unattainable act. He was struck with sadness until a headache took over all thought and he stumbled blindly from the room.

Dean closed the door gently and went to the bathroom for his pain meds and toilet tissue for his again bleeding nose. He hadn't had to use many but he knew this was not a time to mess around with playing the hero. He slammed two tablets down with water and lay down on the couch with just the small lamp on. Dean found sleep elusive as his mind churned over what he had dreamed about and the pain throbbed at his temples. Even when the exact dream faded away he was left feeling empty and hollow. Dean was still awake when the first rays of sun came in the window. He got up and made himself a cup of coffee but incredibly fell to sleep before he could take more than a few sips.

TBC


	30. Room for improvement

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter thirty Room for improvement

Sam woke up an hour later to find Dean's bed in disarray and the door closed. Sam rarely closed the door so he knew it wasn't him. He got up and moved to the door, opening it gently to find Dean lying scrunched up on the couch. Sam shut the door with a frown and dressed quietly. He went further out to the main room and noticed by the light creeping in the thin curtains that his brother had quite the frown happening in his sleep. How Dean slept on the ratty old couch beat Sam.

Sam saw next to Dean's head there was a worn piece where the foam underneath was poking out. Sam had a sudden thought that he now had more than enough money to get himself a new couch thanks to Dean. He had given money to Sam to use as he wanted and Sam had planned on getting a newer couch when he could since this one had come with the apartment. He had used a can of upholstery cleaner on it but it was an old couch that had seen better days. Sam had also wanted to get a table to put next to the window to study on instead of having to use the couch and small beat up coffee table that Mark downstairs had been throwing out. There was plenty of room as the room was meant to be the living room and dining room in one. If he bought a good sized table, he could eat at it and study. It would be nice to sit up properly and study instead of having a sore butt from the couch.

Decision made, Sam scooped up the keys and wrote a note for Dean. He walked quickly to the bedroom and pulled a blanket off Dean's bed and laid it over him on the couch. As he laid the blanket, Sam saw Dean's T shirt had a hole in the shoulder. He sighed realizing his brother really needed some new clothes as well. The clothes he had been wearing when he had been shot had been thrown out and Sam had the feeling when he had looked in Dean's bag that he hadn't replaced any old clothing of late. Sam was sure Dean had more clothes when they hunted together. Or maybe he was kidding himself. He knew Dean looked after Sam and John before thinking of himself. He was the kind of person to buy himself new clothes only when he had none left. Sam wanted to rectify the situation before Dean went back to hunting starting right this minute.

Sam took the Impala to the nearest discount furniture store that happened to be having a sale. Sam found he could get a couch and two comfy chairs for the same price as the couch normally cost. They had a sale on small tables and Sam found one big enough to study at and have his meals. They were selling matching chairs on a buy one get one free scheme so Sam got two. He and Dean could sit together or when Dean was gone he could put his feet up when he studied. The chairs had soft padding so he felt they would be good to sit in for some time while he worked. Sam arranged for delivery the next morning and went next door to Wal-Mart. He bought Dean a few black T shirts and a few for himself in other colors. He hunted down jeans and bought Dean his regular hard wearing brand of jeans then on instinct two pairs of slightly more expensive jeans that claimed to be the hardest wearing jeans ever made.

If anyone needed those, it was Dean. Sam decided to grab some groceries while he was there and ended up filling the cart with things he thought Dean would like. Dean had been great while he had been staying over. In fact, the only time he was moody or down was when he had been trying hard to remember stuff. Sam felt Dean should be rewarded for his efforts to get back to normal after such a horrific thing had happened to him. Sam was proud of his brother and it made him smile with happiness that he could do something to make Dean feel better. He made sure to buy a few fresh steaks and decided he would try to coax Dean out for a barbeque for lunch tomorrow. Sam bought some salads to go with the meat and lined up at the checkout. Satisfied with his purchases, Sam headed home.

Dean woke to the sound of the Impala burbling to life. He craned his head up to see the bedroom door open and a note from Sam on the coffee table saying he had gone shopping. Dean got up slowly and drank his cold coffee before going to the bedroom and getting dressed. During the morning while he was lying down, he had come up with an idea to try to force his memories to come back. He would go to the liqueur store where the shooting had taken place and have a look around. He was sure it would trigger some memories. He didn't know why he didn't think of it before. Once dressed, he crammed his wallet in his pocket. He decided he had better take his crutch as he wasn't sure how far it was. He wrote Sam a note and went to the public library to look up the newspaper article about the robbery. The newspaper report had been pretty detailed. He found out where the store was, who the manager was, a rough description of what happened and where the victims went to get medical aid. Dean got a photocopy of the article and found a map of the area on the computer. It was about six miles to the store. Dean felt he could walk that even if he had to sit down a few times. If he found it too hard, he could always hail a cab. Dean tucked the papers into his pocket and headed out.

TBC


	31. Scene of the crime

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the beta on this story

Chapter thirty one Scene of the crime

Sam returned to the apartment to find Dean gone and a note where he had left him some two hours before. Sam read that Dean had gone for a walk and would be back later. Sam hoped Dean knew he had to work at four that afternoon as he really wanted to see him beforehand. At least to let him know about the furniture. Sam put the groceries away then took all the tags off the new clothes and took them and any dirty stuff he could find and put them in a washing machine. Afterwards, Sam went upstairs and did a bit of a tidying up, not having to do too much, but giving the bathroom a thorough clean so Dean wouldn't do it. Sam frowned over the fact the kitchen was exactly how he left it before he went shopping meaning Dean hadn't eaten breakfast that morning. It looked as though Dean had gotten up, got dressed and left. It was close enough for Sam to have an early lunch since he had missed breakfast himself.

Dean finally made it to the liquor store just before lunch. The walk had tired him out so when he spotted a small park across the parking lot, Dean took a seat at the bench for a few minutes so he would look like 'Joe Normal' when he wandered in. Dean rested with his head back trying to clear his mind and not think too much about what he was about to see until he went in. He had his headache tablets in his pocket in case he needed them. Once he had his breathing back to normal, Dean hid his crutch in the long grass behind the bench and made his way to the store. He entered slowly allowing himself to recognize anything if he could. Dean walked from the front door to the back fridges finding his mind strangely blank like it did not want to remember.

He walked back to the front up the furthest aisle next to the beer fridges. Dean's brow furrowed at the barest ghost of a memory. Anger and pain. A mere feeling and no pictures connected to it. He stopped at the end of the aisle and looked around slowly. A woman was being served by a female clerk which gave Dean a chance to look around without being questioned. The floor in front of the checkout had a couple of spots that looked like bleach had been used to scrub the floor clean. There was another of these spots in front of the chip stand and one of the beer fridges. Dean backtracked down the isle this time looking up and around. He walked slowly up the center aisle letting his eyes wander. As he reached the end of the aisle his eyes fell on the closed circuit TVs behind the counter. For some reason, Dean's hair stood up on the back of his neck and he had a very slight déjà vu feeling. Dean felt the clerk's eyes on him so he moved to the beer fridge to have another look around and get her eyes off him. He guessed he might look a little suspicious walking around looking without buying. As he opened the beer fridge door his head was suddenly filled with the sound of a scream that seemed so real he spun around, hitting his head on the door in the process.

The scream was followed by a blinding pain straight through his temples. Dean leaned in the door of the beer fridge as his legs started to buckle. He managed to breathe through the pain and grab the first six pack of beer his hands fell on. He moved slowly to the checkout slamming down his pain a little and even managing a smile for the clerk. Dean staggered outside and across to the bench where he fell heavily onto the seat. Dean pulled his headache tablets out of his pocket and took two swallowed down with a mouthful of cold beer which he noticed was _Coors_. Not his favorite, but it would do in a pinch. Dean felt the headache back off over the next hour as he sat with his head down sipping the beer and holding the cold cans to his forehead.

Dean eventually felt the headache had backed off enough to look back up at the store. He tried to work out where he would have parked the Impala when he came here. It had been nighttime so probably close to the store but not too close. Dean tried not to concentrate too hard, he didn't want to give himself another headache, but instead relaxed his mind and sipped his beer slowly. He felt a twinge at the back of his mind and thought he might have zeroed in on where he parked but he had no firm evidence or memory, just a feeling. To his surprise, he realized he had finished all the beer and it was almost three pm.

Dean had wanted to catch up with Sam before he went to work that day but now knew it was probably too late. He had found himself missing Sam over the last two days, only really seeing him when he woke him the night before for dinner. Which he hadn't eaten. And he had missed breakfast and lunch as well. Dean frowned. He never normally got obsessive to the point of forgetting to look after himself. Okay, maybe if Sam was sick or hurt or it was a bad hunt he might. His stomach grumbled as if it was agreeing with his lack of attention to himself. Dean reached for his phone but remembered he had left it in Sam's bedroom. He had better get a move on if he wanted to catch Sam. Dean heaved himself up and dropped his empties in the trashcan. He bent and retrieved his crutch, and then started back for the apartment.

TBC

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hey guys I just wanted to say a big THANKS to everyone who has taken the time to review so far. Its great to hit one hundred reviews by the rough halfway point of the story. I will try to get back to everyone who has reviewed but at this stage Im concentrating on getting this story posted as fast as possible. As you all know by now ~ more to follow soon!<strong>_


	32. Happy Sam

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter thirty two Happy Sam

Sam studied till three-fifteen, then put away his books to get ready for work. He was disappointed and a little worried Dean hadn't shown. He picked up his phone and called Dean's number only to hear it ring in the next room. Dean had forgotten his phone. Sam got ready for work but was a little distracted. He had noticed the lasagna from the night before had been put in the fridge, wrapped in foil. Sam started to get a feeling something was going on with his sibling. He contemplated going out in the Impala to look for him but it might make him late for work which he didn't want to do at a new job. He thought they would probably be alright if he told them it was a family emergency but he didn't want to act like a mother hen to Dean either. He decided he would give Dean until that night then wake him if he had to. Sam headed off to work trying to clear his brain from worry so he could concentrate on his duties.

When Dean arrived at the apartment it was empty. It was clear he had missed Sam by a matter of minutes. He had worked up quite a sweat to get there so as disappointed as he was not to catch Sam, he was glad he could take a shower and clean up before going down to the bookstore to see him. Sam would no doubt have a cow if he saw him this sweaty and panting hard. Dean felt Sam had been there long enough for him to be allowed to call in now so he decided to go down. He ate some heated up lasagna then had a shower and changed. He gathered his things, making sure he had his wallet and phone, then walked down to the bookstore. He was glad it wasn't far as he left the crutch at the apartment so he didn't embarrass Sam even though his legs were sore from walking to the liquor store.

Dean walked into the store and was met by a friendly sales girl he didn't know. There was no sign of Jenny so Dean told her he was just browsing. The store was fairly quiet so Dean strolled down the aisles looking at the books with half an eye out for his brother. It was still early in Sam's shift so he knew Sam would probably be shelving books out the back but it didn't hurt to keep a look out. He found a book he liked the look of and paid for it at the front counter before wondering back to the café in the far corner. Dean bought a coffee and sat with his back to the wall so he was facing the storeroom door. Three coffees later he saw his brothers head appear above the shelves as he strode to the front desk behind a cart of books. Dean watched as Sam unloaded his stack chatting to the sales girl.

When Sam was on his way back to the storeroom, he looked up and saw Dean smiling back at him. Sam grinned leaving the cart near the storeroom door and walked over to Dean placing a hand on his shoulder and bending his head to talk softly next to his ear.  
>"Hey Dean. How have you been?"<br>Dean pulled his head back from Sam's close proximity.  
>"Okay. You?"<br>"Yeah good. You hanging around?"

Sam's soft voice told Dean, Sam was treating the bookstore like a library. He guessed it kind of was.  
>"I can, yeah."<br>"Good. I have a break in forty minutes."  
>"You want me to get you some food?"<br>"Yeah sounds good."  
>"What do you want?"<br>"I don't care as long as it comes with a coffee."  
>"Okay. Everything all right Sammy?"<br>Sam's huge grin was starting to freak him out.  
>"Yeah just happy to see you. Anyway I need to get back at it. See you soon."<br>Sam gripped Dean's shoulder softy before slipping back through the door into the bowels of the store.

Dean waited half an hour before going over and ordering Sam a grilled chicken burger and a beef burger with everything for himself. His appetite had made a welcome return. Dean had to take the food to the table in several trips because of his broken arm. He was getting much better with it, but didn't want to spill anything while Sam was working. He might be a bit upset to have a clumsy brother seeing him at his place of employment.

Dean had just put the coffees on the table when Sam came bouncing out. Dean decided to take off his jacket as he was getting hot so Sam went into full mother hen mode fussing over him as he struggled getting the sleeve over his plaster cast. Sam sat very close to Dean and he realized when Sam spoke that he was going to keep talking in his 'library' voice.  
>"So what have you been doing?" Sam dragged his burger closer as he looking at Dean expectantly.<br>"When?"  
>"The last two days."<br>"Um. Went to the library. Cleaned the car did the laundry. Pretty boring really. How 'bout you?"  
>"Workin' and stuff. What were you doing at the library?" Sam lowered his voice further. "You're not looking into a hunt are you?"<p>

Sam's frown was in danger of splitting his face in two.  
>"No, nothing like that. Well something like that I guess. I found some hunts in my notebook and I thought if I could find them in the newspapers it might trigger something."<br>"Did it work?"  
>"A bit yeah."<br>"So you remember more stuff?"

Dean looked down then back up deciding honesty was the best policy.  
>"When we were coming back from Vegas I started to remember everything to when I was twenty. I thought the newspapers might help with the rest."<br>"Oh, okay. So did the library help?" Sam's eyebrows went up in surprise at how much memory Dean had back without him knowing.  
>"Nothing I can pin down. Just gave me more of a headache than anything."<p>

Dean realized too late that he had given Sam a reason to worry. Sure enough Sam turned the puppy dog eyes on him as he laid hand on his arm.  
>"Are you alright? Do you need me to take you to the hospital?"<br>"No, I'm okay Sammy. Sorry to make you worry. Pushing too hard to remember seems to send my brain into overload but it goes away pretty quick."  
>Sam took a bite of his burger, chewed it and swallowed before speaking.<br>"I get the feeling you have been pushing a bit hard lately. Where did you go today? I thought you would be back before I left for work today. You just walk too far and forget to come back?" Sam's voice was light but his concern was very close to the surface and danced across his face.  
>Dean sighed. "I went to the liquor store to see if I could remember what happened."<p>

There, band-aid ripped off.

TBC


	33. Lunch break

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter thirty three Lunch break

Sam's eyes went comically wide as he started at Dean. He let his chicken burger fall to the plate with a plop.  
>"You didn't? Dean what happened?" Sam's hand went back to Dean's arm.<br>"Nothing."  
>"Nothing!"<br>Dean was amused that Sam had whispered loudly this time.  
>"Well I guess a feeling but nothing more."<br>"DEAN!" Sam hissed smacking Dean in the arm lightly.

He could see Dean was holding back.  
>"Well, I heard a scream. I think it was just an echo from that night but that's all. The rest was a total blank. Someone would have screamed right? A woman? Was there a woman in there?"<br>"Yeah there was and I'm pretty sure she would have screamed."  
>The frown was back and Dean didn't like it. "Anyway it doesn't matter. Tell me what you've been doing."<br>Dean stuffed his burger into his mouth to prevent him from saying anything else that would make Sam upset.

Sam picked up his burger again but slowly, still concerned. "Just be careful, Dean. I don't want you back in the hospital."  
>"Not on your watch, huh Sammy?" Dean teased lightly.<br>Sam smiled back. It had been a joke between them when they were young. Dean had used it one to many times on Sam and he had started quoting it back at him complete with raised eyebrow and gruff voice. Sam concentrated on his food and drink for a few moments before he spoke again.  
>"I bought a new couch and chairs with the money you gave me from the casino."<br>"Cool, you need a new couch. The old ones a bit…. lumpy….and old."  
>"It has a fold out bed for you and two matching chairs."<p>

Dean nodded with a smile. Sam sounded so exited over furniture and still with a very soft voice.  
>"Okay."<br>"I bought a table too and chairs as well. I'm going to put them by the window so I can study. They are going to be delivered tomorrow morning. Do you mind I spent the money on them?"  
>"No. It's cool, you do what you want with it. I told you it's yours."<br>"That's good because I bought you some clothes as well."  
>Dean looked up sharply at Sam's soft smile. "Why?"<br>"Don't tell me you don't need them."  
>Dean looked down at his hamburger shyly. He didn't have the memories to recall why he was neglecting to replace his clothes but it made him feel low and ashamed. Sam hooked a long finger under Dean's chin and pulled his jaw up.<br>"Dean, don't be embarrassed. You lead a tough life, it's no wonder you run out of things. Don't worry, I bought myself some too."

Dean felt a bit better now that he knew Sam got clothes as well. He nodded and Sam let go of Dean's face and went back to his lunch after nudging Dean in the side with his elbow. Sam grinned as Dean smiled back and they ate their food. Sam wiped his face with a napkin as he finished eating and turned back to Dean. Not that he had to turn, far they were sitting pretty close.  
>"So what are you reading?"<br>Dean handed Sam the book and Sam noted the sales receipt that marked a page well over halfway through.  
>"<em>'Sherlock Homes'<em> huh? Must be okay. You're doing pretty good with it."  
>"It's interesting enough. The classics are pretty safe."<br>"You read pretty quick. I had forgotten that. You still keeping up with your math? You were great at that."  
>"I don't know."<br>"Sorry Dean, of course not. So lunch tomorrow? I know a spot by a lake with coin fed outdoor grills if you are up for it."  
>"Are you sure you want to spend time away from your new furniture?"<br>"Very funny, Dean." Sam grinned at his brother. "So you're up for it?"  
>"Yeah okay. Don't forget I have a doctor's appointment Friday."<br>"Yeah I know. So you hanging around or heading home?"  
>"I'll stay for a bit. See how hard my little brother works."<br>Sam knocked the back of Dean's hand with his own. "My big brother taught me how to work hard."

Dean grinned back as Sam rose and cleared the table.  
>"Okay I have to head back to work. You're all right to get home?"<br>"Yeah, sure. It will feel like nothing after walking to the store."  
>"You <em>walked<em> to the liquor store? Dean! Christ! Look after yourself will you?"  
>"I'm alright, Sammy. I was only walking, don't go all wussy on me."<br>"All right jerk, just take it easy. And see me before you go."  
>"Okay, bitch."<p>

Sam gave Dean a soft push and strode to the storeroom door and pushed it open as he turned and waved to Dean almost knocking himself out on the doorframe and grinning when he saw Dean laughing at him.

TBC


	34. Customer service

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter thirty four Customer Service

Dean stayed in the store and read while drinking another coffee. He was getting towards the end of the book and away in his own little world when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Sam with an armload of books. Sam dropped a book in front of Dean but it slid off the table onto Dean's lap. Sam leaned down quickly and picked it up off Dean's lap.  
>"Sam! Personal space buddy."<br>"Sorry Dean. I thought you might like this since you're almost finished with that one."

Dean looked down at the book Sam gave him. He saw _'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'_ and looked up at Sam noticing a slight blush creeping up his neck.  
>"Okay thanks. Now, get back to work." Dean laughed.<br>"Customer service Dean."  
>"Oh, is that what it is?"<br>Sam walked off with a spring in his step and Dean noticed the two sales girls behind the desk looking between Sam and Dean. He smiled back and they smiled over at him before turning back to their work.

Dean stood up a half hour later, paid for his new book, and crept up on Sam and gave him a scare by pinching him lightly above both hips. Sam was so into his work Dean had to grasp his belt to stop him face planting into the shelf in front of him. Dean laughed softly as Sam gained his balance.  
>"Letting your guard down there, Sammy."<br>"Very funny, Dean."  
>"I'm heading home. Catch you later."<br>"You takin' that book? Let me know what its like."  
>Dean saw the worried look on Sam's face despite his attempted coolness.<br>"It's cool Sam, I paid for it. I will let you know what it's like. See you tonight."  
>"You don't have to wait up for me Dean."<br>"It's okay. We haven't seen much of each other lately. I thought we could catch up a bit more, maybe watch a movie."  
>"Sounds good. I'll see you soon."<br>"Okay."

Dean left and walked back to the apartment. Once there, Dean did his exercises then turned on the TV while he made some coffee. He grew bored of TV before he had even finished his coffee so he went in and looked for the clothes Sam had bought him. They weren't in the bedroom so Dean went downstairs and found them in one of the dryers. Dean took them upstairs and sorted, folded and put them away. He liked the stuff Sam had got him and slipped one of the T Shirts on straight away. It was his normal size but Dean couldn't help but notice the shirt was pretty big for him.

He had lost more weight than he thought since he had been out of hospital. He wasn't sure what his appetite had been like a few months ago, but at twenty it had been pretty good. Not like now. These days he hardly felt like eating at all. Dean put a jacket on for warmth and so Sam wouldn't freak out about how thin he was. He had already seen Sam looking at him like he as going to say something. Dean lay down on the couch, turning the TV down so he could barely hear it and pulled his new book out. He had already put _'Sherlock Homes'_ in with Sam's small collection of novels. He had also added the Stephen King books he had re-read and had copies of. He thought Sam may like to read them when he had the time.

By the time Sam got home, Dean had about ten pages left of the book and had taken a break to make a quick pizza and shoved it in the oven twenty minutes before Sam was due home from work. Sam walked in just as the buzzer on the oven went off. Dean slid the pizza onto the chopping board as Sam stopped at the doorway.  
>"Hey Dean. That smells good. Where did you get it?"<br>Dean frowned then grinned at Sam. "From your oven, dork."  
>"You cooked it?"<br>Dean saw the surprise on Sam's face. "No the pizza place dropped it off, and I felt the need to put it in the oven. Course I cooked it. Don't look so surprised. I used to cook pizzas in a toaster oven in kitchens smaller than a toilet. It's piss easy in this kitchen. You still like homemade pizza right?"  
>'Wow Dean sounds upbeat tonight and definitely more like twenty.'<br>"Yeah I love it, I just didn't expect it after the day you had. Where did you get the ingredients from?"  
>"Yesterday morning I got enough stuff for a few meals."<p>

Dean used a few swift chops of a knife to slice the pizza up. Sam stepped into the kitchen and pulled out some plates and napkins, slipping them onto the counter.  
>"You always were good at thinking ahead. I always forget to grab food." Sam sounded a little embarrassed.<br>"Don't worry about it, Sammy. You did go to the store and get food. I will use some of that later. I wanted to do it to help out. You have enough to worry about. All I have to do is sit around and get better."  
>Sam frowned. "What do you mean I have enough to worry about?"<br>"Well school starts up again soon, you have a new job, a bad ass big brother staying with you and a dad that you don't get along with. No worry there!" Dean grinned and laid a hand on Sam's shoulder.  
>Sam immediately leaned into Dean's side liking the warmth of his brother's body. Sam had to smile at the way Dean laid it out.<br>"I guess I do worry a bit."  
>"Well just take a break for five minutes. Let's have some food and watch a movie and relax, huh little brother?" Dean pulled Sam even closer and rubbed his hand down Sam's bicep a few times.<br>Sam was comforted by the friendly gesture and tried not to look too surprised. Dean hadn't held him close in such a long time and he missed it.  
>'Maybe Dean did too.'<br>"Deal."

Sam found 'Ghostbusters' on one of the movie channels and they settled down to watch, eating Dean's pizza which they both enjoyed. Dean almost nodded off cramped up on the couch against his brother. Sam was glad he was getting new furniture the next day as the one couch was a bit small for two tall guys to relax on comfortably. Dean gave up trying to keep to his side and looped his legs over Sam's. Sam took the hint and relaxed more against Dean like they used to when they were kids. Sam dragged an almost asleep Dean off to the bedroom when the movie was over and snapped off the TV. Dean pushed his clothes off and fell into bed in his boxers and T shirt. Sam was glad Dean liked his new clothes enough to be wearing them. Sam laughed at how quickly Dean fell to sleep but was a little worried when Dean pulled his broken arm to his chest with a groan.

'Shouldn't that have settled down by now?'

TBC


	35. Hidden problem

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter 35 Hidden problem

The next morning, Dean was up before Sam and had breakfast ready when Sam came into the main room yawning and scratching his belly. Dean pushed Sam down to the couch and placed bacon, eggs and coffee in front of him. Sam grunted his thanks and Dean went in for a shower. Sam woke up over his breakfast with the news on in the background. Dean came out of the shower holding up his new jeans with his free hand and went into the bedroom looking for a belt. Sam craned his neck to peek through the small crack where the bedroom door was open and saw Dean slip on his belt and do it up tight. Sam frowned that Dean still had to do his belt up so tight. It looked like he was going to have to redouble his efforts at fattening Dean up.

Sam decided to start with their lunch by the lake and packed more meat than he originally planned. The furniture arrived and Dean helped Sam arrange it around the room before they left. The brothers had a great time by the lake which was fairly quiet for that time of year. After Sam had filled Dean's stomach to capacity, he produced a football and persuaded Dean to throw it with him. Dean as usual, put everything he had into it and soon had Sam's arms aching as he attempted to catch the ball without falling on his ass.

By the time they packed up for the day, he was glad Dean had been throwing with his left. He had thought he was in with a shot before Dean started throwing then he remembered Dean had been punished one time and had to do everything with his left for a week. Dean had gotten so used to it he did it just to stir up their dad when he was being grumpy with them. They were still putting away the dishes from lunch when Sam's phone rang. It turned out to be Sam's boss Jenny asking if he could cover the afternoon shift. Apparently there was a case of stomach flu going around and she had two staff members out sick. Dean nodded for Sam to accept the extra work if he wanted it. After extracting a promise from Dean to call down later in the day, Sam left for work.

Dean finished putting away the lunch stuff then took a shower before laying down for a while on the new fold out couch. Dean found it fairly comfortable and had a good couple of hours' sleep. He woke up feeling fairly sore in the left shoulder after throwing the ball for so long with Sam. He knew he probably should have taken it easier on it since that was the shoulder that had been shot but Sam seemed to be having such a good time. His broken arm hadn't been feeling that good either. It felt swollen and sore in the cast so Dean put it down to too much activity with it and he threw down a few pain killers with a glass of water. Dean got himself together and walked down to the bookstore, amused to see Sam on the floor helping a customer out with a book. The store was fairly busy so Dean decided on a coffee first. As he stood in line, Sam got his attention and indicated he was ready for a coffee.

Dean bought one for Sam as well and sat at a table as he strode over.  
>"Hey Dean. Did you take a nap? You look better."<br>"Yeah I did. Your new couch is pretty good."  
>"Ha, cool. Can't be worse than the last one." Sam was speaking in low tones again.<br>"Yeah I'm glad they took it away. Nice to have some chairs as well."  
>"I know and the table. I can't wait to use that." Sam grinned.<br>"Of course not." Dean smiled. "So you guys look swamped. How many people you down?"  
>"Two from today's shift and one other so far. They want me to pick up another shift tomorrow afternoon. Your appointment is in the morning right?"<br>"Yeah. It's cool I can do it on my own if it's…"  
>"No it's cool, I have the time and I want to go."<br>"Okay then. So what's good? And no more weird space books."  
>"You didn't like it?"<br>"It was alright but a little outside the box. Wouldn't wanna read it after a few drinks."  
>"Hmm. If you can hang around half an hour I can get you something else."<br>"No problems. I got nowhere to be."

Sam reached over and took Dean's right hand in his and turned his cast over.  
>"Is this okay? You've been rubbing at your fingers a lot since you've been here."<br>"Feels a bit tight today. Well for the last few days but I see the doc tomorrow so I figure I will get it looked at then."  
>It was a fairly big admission from Dean which made Sam frown.<br>"Hmm. Is it hurting?" Sam checked the cast over then searched Dean's face.  
>"It's been sore since I woke up in the hospital but there has been so much other stuff to deal with I kind of shoved it on the back burner."<br>"It's been sore all this time?"  
>Dean leaned back a little as Sam leaned closer.<br>"Yeah I guess."  
>"Let's make sure we get it checked tomorrow."<br>Sam released Dean's hand and stood. "I gotta get back to work but I will see you before you go."

Dean nodded and was slightly startled as Sam rubbed a hand over his shoulder before going back to work. Dean had another coffee then got up and perused the shelves. Dean had picked 'Steppenwolf' and looking at other classic literature before Sam sidled up to him. Sam had another book and a movie for him.  
>"You going to hang around and eat with me again today?"<br>"Would you like me to?"  
>Sam didn't hesitate. "Yeah. I have my main break in an hour. Is that too long?"<br>"No, I can read for a while."

Dean went to the counter and bought the books and DVD. While he was paying, Jenny walked up and chatted to him letting him know she was happy with Sam's work and did he have any other brothers stashed away. Dean had to laugh and say no and he and Jenny talked books for a few minutes before he sat and had another coffee. He looked up now and then watching his brother serve customers and then retreat with relief to the back of the storeroom when the store was less busy.

TBC


	36. Waving with your wrist

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter 36 Waving with your wrist

Dean ordered the food and coffee, again going with grilled sandwiches after the heavy lunch they had. Dean was sitting at the table waiting for Sam reading a book when he felt hands on his left shoulder. Dean looked up to find Sam rubbing his shoulder with a serious look on his face. Dean tried to squirm out of the way but Sam was ready and moved with him.  
>"Just relax Dean. I know your shoulder hurts. Let me rub it better."<br>"In public Sammy?"  
>"Relax Dean. You're dressed and there is hardly anyone here."<p>

Dean was disgruntled with such a public show but knew if he reacted, it would cause a scene.  
>"How did you know?"<br>Dean tries another tactic. Get Sammy talking and he may forget to do what he is so fixed on doing.  
>"You were rubbing it when you were reading. The cast is like waving a white flag, you know."<br>"Oh. I didn't know I was doing it, means it can't be too bad right?"  
>"Good attempt at a deflection there, Dean."<br>Sam rubbed for a couple more minutes then sat in front of the food Dean had laid out.  
>"This looks good, thanks. How's that book?"<p>

Sam noticed Dean had bookmarked it halfway through.  
>"Not too bad. Got plenty of work to do?"<br>"Yeah. We have a few big shipments coming in and obviously a lack of staff to help out. I'm trying to clear up the stockroom to get ready for it but with having to work on the floor I'm not getting much done. Jenny is talking about putting some extra help on for a week or so."  
>"You gonna have to train people already?"<br>"Looks like it."  
>Dean chuffed a laugh as he picked up his food."Good luck with that. They will probably be students with no idea and it will take twice as long."<br>"What do you mean?"  
>"Someone who wants a week's work this late in the holidays is usually someone who couldn't get work."<p>

Sam frowned. He hadn't thought of it like that. Trust Dean to come up with such a quick assessment. He was way smarter than he liked people to think. Sam had always liked Dean's analytical mind but it constantly pissed their father off with his weird questions. He always seemed to be six steps ahead of everyone else.  
>"I'm sure Jenny will pick the right people." Dean teased lightly.<br>Dean saw that Sam was thinking fairly hard. "Don't worry about it Sammy. She will probably put on one burley guy that can do the work of four others and the work will be done in a few days."  
>Sam had to chuckle at that. Trust Dean to turn his mood around so quickly.<br>"On the negative side he will have bad body odor and you will be locked in the store room with him for five hours at a time,"  
>"Dean!" Sam laughed softly. "Anyway what are you doing tomorrow?"<br>"Don't know." Dean shrugged.  
>"You wanna go see a movie?"<br>"Aren't you working?"  
>"Not till four and only for a couple of hours to make sure we are ready for Monday when the first shipment comes in."<br>"Okay then."  
>"Cool. Jump on my laptop when you get home and look up what's playing."<br>"No problems."

Dean left shortly after Sam went back to work and did his exercises. He checked the internet as Sam had suggested then lay back on the couch to read his book. Since Sam had pointed it out, he now noticed how much he was rubbing at his right arm and how uncomfortable it was. He realized with a jolt he had been doing it since he left the hospital but it had become a habit he hadn't noticed as had dealing with the swelling and pain. After a while, Dean jumped up and made some sandwiches for Sam so that all he had to do was throw them on the grill. Dean went back to his book but fell asleep after reading a few pages.

Sam walked in shortly after and found Dean asleep with his book resting on his chest.  
>"Hey Sammy. Have a good time?"<br>Dean startled Sam with how quick he came awake.  
>"Yeah thanks."<br>Sam walked to the kitchen to fix himself a snack and saw the sandwiches sitting on the cutting board ready for the grill. Dean came around behind him looking ruffled and sleepy as he deftly slid the food on the grill and turned it on.  
>'He looks so cute when he is half asleep.'<br>"Hey Dean, do you think you could come into the store tomorrow?"  
>"I thought you were only going in for a couple of hours to get the storeroom ready."<br>"Yeah I am but I really would like it if you came in."

Dean looked up from the grill as he checked the cooking food.  
>"Why? I've been there the last couple of days, why do need me tomorrow?"<br>"Nothing I just want to see you. Is that okay?"  
>Dean stared at Sam and saw him fidget and start to blush.<br>"Sam? What's going on? You having trouble at work?"

Sam sighed and leaned against the counter as Dean pulled the sandwiches out and put them on a plate and cut them in half.  
>"I …I…god this is embarrassing."<br>"Just spit it out Sammy."  
>"Okay, well my work colleagues think I'm gay."<br>Dean handed Sam the plate.  
>"That's cute Sammy. What gave them that idea? Waving with your wrist again?"<br>Dean bent his wrist down hard so it almost touched his forearm.  
>"Very funny Dean. Actually it's your fault."<br>"Mine?"

Dean raised an eyebrow at his brother.  
>"Yeah. Apparently us having lunch together twice in a row is enough to get their tongues wagging."<br>"It probably didn't help with you putting your paws on me today."  
>"Yeah well, I didn't know Marcie and Anna were spying from the shelves. I told them you were my brother and they laughed at me."<br>"They think big bad Sammy is gay? Dude you don't look gay in the slightest. In fact you're the least gay person I know. I will make sure to come down tomorrow, set them straight."  
>"Thanks Dean. I really appreciate it. They keep telling me when cute guys come into the store. It's embarrassing. "<br>"Just don't look up," Dean teased, "eat your food."

TBC


	37. Confessions

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter thirty seven Confessions 

Sam laughed then offered the plate to Dean. "You sure you don't want some."  
>"No I'm cool."<br>Sam frowned. "You should eat some Dean."  
>"You feed me up so much at lunch I doubt I can eat too much for a few days."<br>"Hmm. But I did see you put your belt on this morning."

Sam learned forward and pulled Dean's T shirt up and grabbed his belt and pulled it forward.  
>"You are way too thin for my liking."<br>"Sam! No wonder they think you're gay. It's cool, I've always been a little on the lean side, unless that changed when I got older. I know, Sammy left for university and I went on an eating binge."  
>Dean's face had a wiry gin but his voice held a slight edge of steel and uncertainty to it.<br>"I don't think you went on an eating binge, in fact I think it was quite the opposite."

Dean looked at Sam like he was dumfounded. Sam moved up beside Dean and put his arm around his shoulder.  
>"It's all right Dean, I've known for a while you didn't take me going off to school easily."<br>"How…What…How?"  
>"You called a couple of times. I'm sure once you were injured and you rambled a bit. I figured it out then. You were drinking a lot and pushing dad into hunt after hunt. When he needed a break, he up and left you to finish the hunt. From what I gather you spent your time alone drinking, eating just enough to survive. I know you took a few hunts around here just so you could check up on me. You left money and salted the doors a few times. We only talked twice before the robbery. You didn't have much to say but I saw it in your eyes. You were hurting bad and I did try to talk to you about it but you said you would be fine like you always do."<p>

Dean frowned. "I got an idea I kept the hunts to this side of the country. In fact, my notebook shows I only did one hunt east of Texas since you started out here. I don't know about the drinking, sorry Sammy, or the staving myself."  
>Sam turned so he was facing Dean. He was shocked to see Dean's eyes glistening brightly with tears. He had quite forgotten he could hurt him so easily at the moment.<br>"Shit Dean, I'm sorry." Sam closed the gap and grabbed Dean up in a crushing hug. "I didn't think man, I'm sorry. I'm just guessing what things were like I have no right to say anything. For what it's worth, I was hoping to see you on my birthday and try to mend some fences and I think you might have too."

Dean stepped as far back from Sam as Sam's arms would allow.  
>"Did I say that to you?"<br>"No, but I had the feeling the last time we talked."  
>"When was that?"<br>"Two months ago."  
>Dean's face fell and the held back tear ran down his face.<br>"Sorry Sammy, I can't believe I don't talk to you much. I wish I could remember. It seems pretty stupid that I don't talk to you."  
>Sam leaned forward and hugged Dean again. Dean allowed the hug and even leaned into Sam a little.<br>"It's okay Dean. I know this stuff has been hard on you. I am just worried about you that's all."

Dean took a step back and Sam let him go. Dean had his head tipped down to the floor and Sam was expecting to have to lift it and tell Dean to cheer up but Dean lifted his own head and smiled up and Sam.  
>"You still wondering why the girls think you're gay?"<br>"Very funny Dean. It's okay for brothers to hug, especially when they need it."  
>"I didn't need a hug but I know you did so it's cool. Eat your food before it goes cold."<br>'Okay moment over.'  
>They moved into the living room. The guys sat in the chairs and watched TV for an hour before Dean headed to bed. Playing ball in the park had tired his body out more than it normally would have and his left shoulder and right arm hurt a fair bit so he took painkillers and fell into a restless sleep quickly.<p>

The next morning, Dean was up early and had breakfast ready for Sam when he got up. Dean served the food and left him to it while he showered and cleaned up. When Sam had eaten, showered and dressed, they left for the hospital. Sam insisted he be allowed in with Dean when he met Doctor Marshall. Sam was quiet while the doctor did his examination only speaking up when the doctor noticed Dean's back was a bit tender. Sam told the doctor how far Dean had walked two days previous and Adam all but scolded Dean like a child. It seemed while Dean was healing he was okay to walk _small_ distances. The doctor had almost finished with Dean and about to send him for a scan on his back just to be sure it was healing properly when Sam had to speak up about Dean's arm being sore.

Dean tried to deflect it as worrying over nothing but the doctor grasped his arm quicker than Dean anticipated causing him to gasp in pain. After a thorough look over, he grabbed his blunt nosed scissors and deftly removed the cast. The doctor was surprised how swollen it looked after all the time it had been in the cast. He told the guys he wanted it scanned at the same time as his back. While the doctor left the room for a wheelchair he insisted Dean use, Sam apologized to Dean for dobbing him in but not for getting him treatment. Dean grudgingly admitted his arm didn't feel right and that he should have said something himself. Especially since it had swollen up quite a lot in the small time the cast had been removed.

TBC


	38. Worry and pain

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter 38 Worry and pain

Dean told Sam to relax and take it easy while he went off for his scan but it was easier said than done when Dean hadn't returned two hours later. Sam had been guided to a different waiting room after a half hour and spent the next hour and a half drinking strong coffee while he flicked through year old magazines. Sam eventually asked a nurse if he could find out what was going on and was told Dean was in a treatment room with two doctors. Sam wanted to pace but the waiting room was small and too busy so he was left fidgeting and staring at the treatment room door he had seen the nurse go into.

Sam jumped to his feet when Dean was finally wheeled out of the room but skidded to a stop when he saw Dean's pale face as he sat stiffly with his crutch across his knees and a new sling over his right arm which had a bright white cast. Sam had to swallow down a lump seeing Dean's eyes cloudy with drugs knowing they had given Dean a painkiller when they did whatever they did to his arm.

Sam really wanted to know what was causing Dean to be sitting, gritting his teeth and breathing through the pain having allowed them to give him drugs in the first place but instead he took the handles of the wheel chair from the doctor he didn't know.  
>"Sam?" The man questioned.<br>"Yeah."  
>"Doctor Johns." The doctor held his hand out for Sam who took one hand off the chair to shake it.<br>"I am the resident orthopedic surgeon at the hospital and just became one of your brother's doctors."  
>"I'm sorry, what happened?"<br>"Doctor Miller asked me to have a look at David's arm. It was setting incorrectly so we had to re-break it and set it again."

Sam's eyes went wide as a hand went to Dean's shoulder.  
>"We have put a new cast on, but David needs to rest for a couple of days then he should be back to normal. He is a little out of it with the painkillers we administered. He refused to be put under for the procedure so here is his medication. He will be in some pain for the rest of the day. I think he will probably want to sleep a fair bit of the day away today."<br>Dr. Johns handed Sam a bottle of pills and a prescription for more. He handed Sam a card.  
>"I have made another appointment for a week's time to check it again but it looks better already."<br>"Thank you for everything."  
>"That's Sammy, thanking the doctor for breaking my arm." Dean spoke up from the chair for the first time.<p>

Sam noticed his voice was a little slurred meaning the drugs must have packed a punch if Dean was affected like that.  
>"Sorry bro, you okay?" Sam leaned down to Dean's level as the doctor walked off.<br>Dean blinked rapidly as he went to stand up and walk but Sam saw him gather himself and stopped him with a hand to his chest.  
>"Whoa there buddy we're not at the car yet."<br>"Why not? I can walk anyway Sammy."  
>Sam pushed the wheelchair towards the front doors before Dean could attempt to get out again. He kept a hand on his shoulder to ensure he didn't fall out of the chair.<br>"Just sit Dean. We will be at the car in a minute."

Luckily for Sam, the car was parked very close to the doors and Sam had Dean in the passenger seat and the chair back inside quickly. Sam slipped into the driver's seat.  
>"You okay Dean?"<br>"Hmm? Yep fine Sammy. Home we go, before I fall asleep. Though with your driving…" Dean grinned and leaned up against the window as if to prove his point.  
>Sam felt sorry for his brother since he was the one to draw Dean's arm to the doctor's attention so he slipped his jacket off and tucked it under Dean's head. It showed how out of it Dean was by the fact he snuggled into the jacket rather than bitch and complain or throw it back as he normally would. Sam got them home as quick as he could and had to help Dean up the stairs as he was listing badly and more than a bit staggerly. Sam sat Dean in one of the new comfortable chairs while he quickly opened the sofa bed then helped Dean off with his outerwear and slid him into bed.<p>

Dean was asleep before his head hit the pillow so Sam took his books to the desk and used it to study for the first time. He grinned at the new wood smell and smoothed his fingers over it with a chuckle. Sam noticed Dean was grunting in pain while he slept so he pulled out his new pills and put them next to the sofa on the floor with a glass of water when he went to get a coffee. Sam leaned over the bed and saw Dean was curling up in an almost fetal position with his arm held tightly to his chest. Sam sighed and slowly pulled the sling off Dean's arm as it was threatening to strangle him.

Sam noticed beads of sweat on Dean's forehead. Damn him for not getting knocked out and putting up with the pain. Dean moaned slightly in his sleep and Sam frowned and patted Dean's back till he settled. It was something Dean had always done to him when he was in pain or scared growing up so he was happy to comfort Dean when he could. Dean never accepted much comfort or help at all so Sam was more than happy to provide it when he could. Sam smiled a little when Dean rolled slightly closer to his hand and he kept up the rub until Dean was thoroughly settled.

TBC


	39. Moving like a duck

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter thirty nine Moving like a duck

Sam made himself some lunch then studied through until it was time to get ready for work. Sam didn't mind that they didn't go for the movie Dean had picked out. They could go during the next week when Dean was feeling better. Dean woke just as Sam was gathering his things and was surprisingly alert for someone who had slept deeply for at least four hours.  
>"You going to work Sammy?"<br>"Yeah. Don't get up, stay and rest."  
>"I'm okay. How about I meet you there in an hour?"<br>"Its okay, stay and rest Dean, you are probably still drugged to the eyeballs."  
>"I feel better now, even my eyeballs."<p>

Dean smiled a toothy grin and Sam smiled back.  
>"See how you feel when you get up. If it's too hard, don't worry about it."<br>"Isn't your manhood in jeopardy if I don't turn up?" Dean laughed around a yawn.  
>"It can wait a day or two."<br>"So the girls can gossip about my baby brother? I don't think so."  
>Dean swung his legs out of bed, narrowly missing the glass of water. He bent and picked it and the pills up.<br>"I will see you in an hour. Don't worry just go."  
>"If you change you mind…."<br>"Just go!" Dean growled around a grin. "I'm fine."  
>Sam sighed and, with a last glance at Dean taking two pain pills, left for work.<p>

Dean let out a deep breath. His arm had been feeling quite sore when he woke up and he had to grit his teeth internally to keep the pain at bay. At least the pain pills he had taken were fast acting. That meant that by the time he showered and dressed, they would have kicked in. They weren't that strong however and Dean had to take four just to take the edge off. Dean packed up the bed, being careful not to bump his arm, then showered and dressed carefully. By the time he left the apartment, the pain was down to a dull throb. Dean had put the sling on only so Sam didn't freak out at him in the store but truthfully, he found it made his arm feel a little better. Not that he would admit that.

Sam had to go out to the floor and put some books on the shelves in the shop floor to make way for the new ones coming in. He was so involved in what he was doing, he didn't hear Dean sneak up behind him. He almost jumped as a hand settled on his shoulder and swung around, bumping into Dean's right arm pushing the cast into his chest.  
>"Shit Dean, sorry."<br>Sam grabbed Dean's other arm as he stumbled back a step. If Sam hadn't known his brother so well, he would have missed the second of pain that swept across Dean's face.

Sam put his arm around Dean only to have his brother step quickly out of the embrace.  
>"Ease up Sammy. I just told the girls you are my brother but you are not making it any easier."<br>"Are you okay? You told them?"  
>"I'm fine. And yes I even showed them my real ID."<br>"Your real ID? You haven't used that in a long time."  
>"Things I do for you, Sammy. Now stop trying to grab me and get back to work. I'm gonna get a coffee."<br>"I'll be finished in forty five minutes if you want to hang around. We could grab a pizza from up the block for dinner."  
>"Sounds okay."<br>Dean went for a cup of coffee and sat at the table sipping slowly. He slipped more painkillers from his pocket and took them as stealthily as he could. His arm was fairly sore and every little bump was jarring and painful but Dean was used to locking it away. Sam used to joke when they were kids and call Dean a duck. Swimming along peacefully on the surface; paddling like crazy under the water.

A young woman between twenty five and thirty with ash blonde hair on the next table kept glancing over at him. Dean had seen her at the shop a few times before and even noticed her looking at him but Dean was still a little shy about his fresh scars to chase after women. Besides, he was enjoying spending time with his brother. The woman got up to leave but passed by his table where she paused then turned to Dean.  
>"I'm sorry to bother you."<br>Dean raised his eyebrows taken by surprise as he worked to control the pain.  
>"I'm sorry for being forward, but did you happen to have an accident of some kind?"<br>"Ah yeah." Dean thought the cast and sling were enough to give that away.  
>"Sorry, I mean your back."<br>Dean frowned. "Yeah I did actually."  
>"Low down, around disks 23 and 24?"<br>"Huh yeah. Did you get that from me sitting here?"

This had to be the weirdest pick up line Dean had ever heard.

TBC


	40. Extra therapy

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter forty Extra therapy 

The young woman stepped closer.  
>"No, I have seen you walk a few times. I'm sorry you must be confused. I'm a physiotherapist and a masseuse. My practice is around the block. I come here for coffee fairly often. Is that your brother that just started working here?"<br>Dean pulled out the seat with his foot.  
>"Please sit."<br>She sat and Dean spoke very softly.  
>"I'm Dean and yes my brother Sam works here."<br>"Angela. I'm a friend of Jenny's so I kind of know most things that go on around here."  
>She held out her hand for Dean to shake.<br>Dean had to smile as he shook her hand and she momentarily faulted seeming like a deer caught in the headlights.  
>"I don't normally just approach people at my favorite coffee spot, well I never do, but I think I may be able to help you. With your back."<p>

Was she blushing?  
>"Well my back is okay now."<br>"You are walking a lot better, I can see that, but you still have some stiffness that I think would benefit from some deep tissue massage and some stretching the lower back and hips. I know it doesn't sound like much but I have had good results from injuries from car accidents before. Your doctors didn't suggest anything like that might help?"  
>"I have a physical therapist that gave me exercises to do. My injuries weren't from a car accident, does that make a difference?"<br>"Oh I'm sorry I just assumed that with the amount of injuries you have it would have been a car accident."  
>"Amount of injuries?"<br>Dean had thought they were fairly well hidden. Except for the broken arm of course.  
>"Well you have a few new looking scars as well as the broken arm. I'm sorry if I'm overstepping. I just think I can help."<p>

Dean normally didn't open up to complete strangers but this woman seemed to have such an open honesty he was drawn in.  
>"My back injury was caused by a bullet." Dean had leaned in and spoke even softer.<br>"I'm sorry. What about your arm and your left shoulder?"  
>"Another in the left shoulder. My arm was broken by someone's boot."<br>"Ow! That must have hurt."  
>"Probably."<br>'Be nice if I could remember it. Or maybe not so nice.'

Angela frowned at Dean's comment but let it slide. "Well, I can still help with that injury."  
>"To tell you the truth, I have never really been big on therapy. Usually I get out of hospital and hit the road."<br>"Usually? You accident prone?"  
>'Straight to the point this one. Sounds a bit like Sammy.'<br>"Yeah a little. But you know I'm into extreme sports and I travel all over for my job. With all that time on the road, accidents happen."  
>"Didn't you say this wasn't a car accident?"<br>Dean hesitated before replying.  
>"I walked in on a robbery. Bad timing, not bad driving for a change."<p>

Dean smiled softly at his own joke.  
>"That is bad luck. So Sam lives out here or is he working to get you through therapy? Shit, sorry for being nosy, you are so easy to talk to and I really want to know more about you."<br>"It's okay," Dean laughed softly, "Sam goes to school out here and I was on my way to see him when I stopped at the wrong place."  
>"Hmm. I'm glad you have your brother to help you with therapy but I really would like to help you. I think I could get your mobility back quicker."<br>Dean thought it over for a few seconds. He had already said more than he normally would have to this woman, meaning deep down he trusted her. He had a good feeling about her and Sam swore he was a good judge of character.  
>"I guess I could give it a try. One treatment can't hurt."<br>"Exactly! If it doesn't feel like the right thing you don't have to come back. Here is my card. What time suits you?"

Dean shrugged as he scanned the card. "I don't have a lot to do as it happens."  
>"How about tomorrow morning about eight?"<br>Dean frowned.  
>"If that's too early I have a free appointment at the end of the day."<br>"No the morning is cool; I just didn't expect anything so soon."  
>"I'd like to get started straight away. If you have any x-rays you should bring those. See you at eight?"<br>"Yeah okay. Nice meeting you Angela."  
>They shook hands as Angela stood to leave.<br>"You too, Dean."

Dean bought a coffee for himself and one for Sam in a bit of a daze as he waited for his brother. He was surprised to find there were only five minutes left to wait. Sam joined him at the table and Dean rose and handed him his take away cup as Sam grinned at him. They walked outside and towards the pizza shop.  
>"So thanks for setting things straight with the girls. It was nice of you to tell them what a great brother I am."<br>"It's true Sammy."  
>"Well it totally worked. You kind of clinched it when you sat chatting to that girl. Did you just meet her?"<br>"Yeah. She is a physiotherapist and wants to work on me."  
>"I think she wants to do more than work on you Dean."<br>"What? No way! I mean at first I though so too, but she really seemed to know what she was talking about."  
>"So what, you're going to get treatment from her?"<br>"Well I have an appointment in the morning. I will try it once and see how it feels."  
>"Dean Winchester taking extra treatment? Sounds weird."<br>"Hmm, I thought so too but she talked me into it. She is actually quite nice."  
>"You like her?"<br>"Yeah. She's very easy to talk to."  
>"More than like?" Sam nudged Dean playfully in the ribs, being careful of his arm.<br>"I don't know yet."

They arrived at the pizza store and ordered dinner. While they waited, Sam persuaded Dean to go to the supermarket with him and get drinks, candy, ice cream and popcorn for later that night. Sam noticed Dean was starting to lag at the store and was protecting his arm from bumps whenever possible. Sam could see some lines of pain on Dean's face and knew it was time for him to be taking more medication. They picked up the pizza and headed home.

TBC


	41. Proactive

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter forty one Pro-active

While they were eating their food, Dean found some Batman cartoons on TV and couldn't be dissuaded by Sam to change the channel. Sam made sure Dean had taken more meds before they settled down to watch a movie. Dean was asleep on the couch before the movie was halfway through so Sam draped a blanket over him to keep him warm. Sam was a little concerned that Dean had taken his sling off and was clutching his arm to his chest again. Sam picked up Dean's pill bottle and read the label carefully. It turned out Dean was on just paracetamol with a little codeine in the mix. Sam had assumed the tablets in the bottle were the same strength as his new prescription but they were a lot weaker.

The prescription was for tablets Sam knew Dean should have been on from the start after having his arm re-broken. Remedeine tablets. Dean would know those tablets would have dihydrocodeine in them which was addictive but Sam trusted his brother not to start taking them when he didn't need them. He couldn't believe he missed that. Dean probably talked the doctor into giving him the weaker tablets. Just like having his arm done without an anesthetic. Dean always had to be a hero about getting hurt. Well, he just didn't like what the tablets would do to him but he had Sam to look after him this time. Sam decided to be pro-active and took the script down to the pharmacy to get it filled. When he returned home, he put the already opened bottle away and took the seal off the new bottle, grabbed a glass of water and woke Dean up enough to take two of the stronger tablets.

Dean went back to sleep fairly quickly and Sam decided to make it an early night as well. He tidied up the food plates and bowls scattered around and changed for bed. Sam noticed a few new books on his shelf. Dean had been putting his finished books there for Sam as he said he would. Sam pulled one out and opened the back cover. Sure enough in Dean's tight shaky script was 'May 2002' on the bottom left hand corner of the facing page. It was a habit Dean had gotten into when he was very young and losing track of what books he had read. Dean read very fast and read so many it was a good way of keeping up with what he had read. He had to start again every time they moved but Dean didn't seem to care.

Even when Dean got new books, he never wrote his name in them just the month and year of when he had read it. Sam had started doing it as soon as he knew what it meant, with Dean's approval when he asked if he could do it too. Sam liked seeing his and Dean's scrawl in books they hadn't seen in a long time in libraries around the country. Sam had even done it in reference books, feeling guilty at the time but later getting a buzz knowing he had been there before. He often wondered where Dean had gotten the idea from. He had asked him when he was little but Dean had tapped his head and gave Sam a small smile, never elaborating more than that. Sam read for a while then snapped off the light and fell asleep listening to Dean's harsh breathing.

Sam sprang from the bed in the early hours of the morning before he was fully aware of himself or what had woken him. He almost knocked himself out on the shut bedroom door before finding the knob and yanking the door open. He staggered into the living room to find Dean half sitting up on the fold out bed holding his arm. He shook his head to clear it as he flicked on the lamp then went to the bed and sat on the edge. Sam scooped a bewildered looking Dean into his arms for a gentle hug. Sam was surprised to find Dean damp with sweat and shaking a little.  
>"Dean, you okay?"<br>"Think I slept on my arm. Hurts like a bitch." Dean's voice was a little slurred and his throat sounded dry.  
>"Okay, let's get some painkillers into you."<p>

Sam got the tablets and handed them to Dean with a glass of water. Sam sat behind him and pulled him to his chest. Sam put his right arm under Dean's supporting it to help with the pain. Sam could feel Dean trembling softly with pain.  
>"Ah Sam, I think we got past the gay rumors today."<br>"Very funny Dean. My fantastic big brother did this to me when I sprained my wrist and cried like a baby till the meds kicked in."  
>"You were ten Sammy."<br>"Yeah well it's time to pay it forward. You helped me so many times I doubt I could ever make it up."  
>"You don't need to Sam. That what being a brother is all about. You do it because you want to not because you have to."<p>

Sam's eyes went wide and he dropped his chin to Dean's shoulder in a bid to give him more comfort while he pondered Dean's revelation. He knew it was how Dean felt but to hear him voice it had thrown him for a loop. Sam could feel Dean shake under his chin and decided he should do what Dean did to him all those times he needed help. He would distract him until the painkillers kicked in.  
>"Dean, why didn't you let them knock you out to re-break your arm?"<br>"I hate what the drugs do to me. The anesthetics knock me around for a bit. I wanted to be out of there as quick as possible. They gave me a local you know right?"  
>"Yeah but you still would have felt it."<br>"Yeah a bit."  
>"Dean, the pills the doctor gave me for you weren't very strong. Did you knock back the stronger ones?"<br>"Yeah. And before you ask he couldn't give me stronger ones while I was there. I would have to go and get a script filled."  
>"Like the one he gave you that I got filled tonight?"<br>"Ah. I wondered why they worked quicker tonight. You gave me some earlier right?"  
>"Yeah. Why not just take the stronger ones when he wanted you to?"<br>"I hate feeling out of it. Makes me do stupid things, like sleep on my arm."  
>"Sorry."<br>"I was just kidding. I could have done that anytime. I don't blame you for that Sammy you're just looking out for me. I know how that feels."  
>"Oh. Okay."<p>

TBC


	42. Dark practice

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter 42 Dark practice

They were silent for a moment and Sam noticed Dean was shaking slightly less.  
>"Dean, the girls at the bookstore asked what happened to you. Do you mind if I tell them something?"<br>"No, its fine. Just don't lie to them. It's best you tell the truth to people you are going to be working with even if it's not the complete story."  
>"Thanks. It would be best to be honest. They are really nice people and they all adore you so I wouldn't want to ruin that."<br>"Adore me? Well I am adorable."

Sam noticed Dean was starting to lean into him a bit more.  
>"And modest."<br>"Yeah. Thanks Sammy. I know a distraction when I see one. I feel better now. See you in the morning?"  
>"Wake me up if you need me." Sam got up slowly, giving Dean time to take back his arm and lay down carefully. "See you in the morning."<br>"I will be up early. I have that appointment at eight."  
>"Okay. Goodnight."<br>"Thanks Sammy. Goodnight."  
>Sam left the bedroom door open this time, just in case.<p>

When Dean got up the next morning, he decided against waking Sam as he looked like he was having a deep, dream free sleep. Dean packed up his bed and took a quick shower, skipping breakfast as he didn't know how his stomach would feel if Angela worked him too hard. He wasn't really sure what he was getting himself into, but for whatever reason wanted to find out more about Angela.

When he arrived at the address on the card, he was surprised to find it was around the corner from the coffee shop and it looked exactly like a house. If it wasn't for the small brass plate next to the doorbell, he would have said he was at the wrong place. He rang the bell peering in the dark house through the top of the half wood/ half glass front door. There were blinds in the windows but they were all down giving the impression no one was home. He was about to turn away when a light flicked on inside and he heard hurried footsteps. Angela appeared at the door and motioned him inside. There was only one light on in the hallway slightly to the left. To the right was a reception area like most doctors offices and to the left of the hallway a smallish waiting room.

Both were dark and hard to see as Angela led the way down the softly lit hallway.  
>"Thanks for coming Dean."<br>"Nice place. I didn't expect it to look so much like a house. I thought I was at the wrong address."  
>Angela motioned Dean through a door marked Treatment room one.<br>"It's a little confusing but it's a great place and the treatment rooms were already set up when I moved in. They just needed a fresh coat of paint."  
>Dean nodded his head a little unsure of what came next.<br>"You have x-rays, great. I'm going to look at these while you can change into this."  
>She handed Dean a white bathrobe.<br>"Keep your underpants on, everything else comes off. Is that okay?"

Dean was looking and feeling a bit unsure but nodded anyway. By the time he had changed and was leaning against the bed, Angela had returned with Dean's x-rays and a folder of notes.  
>"Right, I've looked at your X-Rays and it looks like you're suffering from stiffness around the lower back and both shoulders. Is your broken arm going to be alright?"<br>"Yeah I took some meds before I came."  
>"Is it still hurting?" Angela frowned in concern.<br>"Well, yeah. They re-broke it yesterday 'cause it wasn't healing right."  
>"Are you sure you will be alright?" Angela looked very concerned. A newly broken arm had to hurt pretty badly but he seemed very casual about it.<br>"Yeah, no problem. Depending what you do to me of course."

Dean kept his tone light even though he had been wondering.  
>"I think with the treatment and exercises you are already doing we will massage the areas softly to get the blood flowing in the tissues a bit better. Does that sound acceptable?"<br>"Yeah I think so."  
>"No need to worry, Dean. With this type of massage, my clients normally fall asleep but wake up feeling a lot better. Any questions before we begin?"<br>Dean scratched his head. "Just one. What is the charge for this kind of thing?"

Angela breathed in deeply then looked down slightly embarrassed.  
>"My normal patients put it on their insurance card but I do have a lot of people that pay cash." She looked down again before gathering herself. "I have to be honest and let you know that we are outside my normal practicing hours so I really couldn't charge you full fees."<br>"Oh, so why are you seeing me outside normal hours?" Dean was surprised at the admission but at least he knew why the waiting room was in darkness.  
>"I want to spend the time on you that you need. To be honest I'm intrigued with your body."<p>

Dean raised an eyebrow. 'A much better pick up line.'  
>Angela blushed as she rushed on to try to correct her slip of the tongue.<br>"I just mean your injuries fascinate me professionally. I have had patients with bullet wounds before but your range of injuries and how well you are recovering makes me want to help you. I'm sorry if I sound like a stalker or something."  
>"No it's okay I understand. So the fees? I have to pay something. If you don't charge I can't come here."<p>

The steel in Dean's voice told her he would stand film and she was lucky she was on his good side.  
>"How about half price?"<br>"Not enough, seventy five percent?"  
>"Done. But you have the right to stop treatments if you are not happy or it doesn't feel right like everyone else."<br>"Cool." Dean grabbed his wallet from the chair his clothes were on and looked up in question. She told Dean the amount and when Dean refused a receipt she had him lie on his back on the table.

TBC


	43. Mind on the job

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter forty three Mind on the job

Angela placed a bottle of rubbing lotion in a holder by the bed.  
>"Now, I need you to open the robe for me so I can have a look at the front of your shoulder and abdomen. Is that okay?"<br>"Sure."  
>Dean opened the robe and let the sides fall open. There was plenty of room on the bed for him to lay his arms by his sides so he did. He purposely kept his eyes off Angela as she gently looked at his shoulder. She seemed a bit nervous even though this was her area of expertise and he thought if he looked nonchalant, she might too. It generally worked with Sam when he was nervous during a hunt. Angela seemed to relax as she warmed to her work and examined Dean's shoulder carefully.<br>"Can I just push the robe off your shoulder?"  
>"Yeah sure, do what you need to."<br>Dean realized too late that what he said could be taken a number of ways but it seemed to relax Angela and she became more confident lifting Dean's arm off the bed and flexing the shoulder joint as she felt with her fingers.

After a few minutes, she squeezed some lotion onto her fingers and kneaded Dean's shoulder. Dean was a little tense at first because Angela's fingers were stiff and hard when he had expected them to be softer. After a few minutes, he noticed the initial slight pain started to fade away and the knots and scar tissue started to give up the fight and become more pliable. Angela seemed nervous again when she finished with his shoulder and moved down to his abdomen. Dean pulled the robe wide open as to let he know he was fine with her looking there. She moved her fingers down to Dean's lower belly just above this boxer's waistband. She admired Dean's six-pack and defined torso as she examined the bullet wound. She admired a good body as well as the next girl and Dean was very well built and fit if a little skinny. She had the fleeting thought that he would look fantastic after he had done a few sit ups or a bit or hard work if that's how he looked first thing in the morning then schooled her mind to the task at hand.

It didn't hurt that he was so good looking as well. It had almost been her undoing when she talked to him in the coffee shop. His engaging smile and good looks had made her slightly weak at the knees. She preferred to stay away from guys that looked this handsome. They generally knew they were good looking and were assholes about it. Dean had seemed different when she talked to him at the store. He seemed a little shy and not a pig at all. She had talked to his brother Sam a couple of times at the bookstore and he had been very nice. Angela knew Jenny very well and knew she always hired the best people.  
>'Mind on the job' she sighed to herself.<p>

Angela examined Dean's bullet wound and the surrounding tissue. It looked a little raw still and much less healed than his shoulder.  
>"Is this alright to press on? It looks a little raw."<br>"It's fine. I can barley feel it."  
>As Angela worked she noticed all the fine scars that crisscrossed Dean's torso. She had noticed a few on his shoulder area as well. Extreme sports huh? She for one would pass on it if it did that much damage. Or maybe that's how he got so fit.<br>'Mind on the job' she repeated to herself.

She kept her hands as high as she could while working into both of Dean's hips. Dean seemed to relax more the further she worked and she glanced up to see his eyes on the ceiling.  
>"So what do you do for a living Dean?"<br>"I'm an exterminator."  
>It was kind of true.<br>"How does that have you traveling so much?"  
>"I specialize in hard to get at places and hard to get rid of creatures."<br>More true than not true.  
>"Oh okay. You ever worked on boats?"<br>Angela had read a story about rats on boats a couple of weeks ago and it had creeped her out enough to remember the article.  
>"Oh yeah. Not a great job."<br>Dean had helped his dad on a haunted ship once.  
>"Okay, you can roll over but I need you to take off the robe. I can drape it over your bottom half for you."<p>

Dean rolled over carefully placing his right arm next to his shoulder gently. Angela draped the robe over his boxer clad bottom then set to work on lower back. It was very painful and felt like his nerves were close to the surface. He was surprised that his legs twitched at first then began to ache as she worked. He felt better when she moved up to his shoulder. Dean actually liked the firmness of Angela's fingers and the way they got right down to the bone and soothed away the knots.  
>"Do you mind if I give your right shoulder a quick rub before we finish? You seem to be straining it because of your broken arm."<br>"If you want. I'm sure it will be okay."  
>"Just a quick one then. I'm sure you will feel the difference."<p>

Dean nodded shortly and she carefully worked the muscles of his shoulder. A few minutes of that and Dean's shoulder felt relaxed like jelly. Angela finished up and washed her hands in the sink in the corner while Dean dressed. Dean was dressed and about to shove his sling in his pocket when Angela snatched it out of his hand and looped it over his shoulder and neck with ease.  
>"Now can you come back tomorrow morning for another treatment? I would like to do three treatments in a row then go to every three days. Does that seem reasonable?"<br>Angela had enjoyed working on Dean and getting his affected areas more mobile. She loved helping people so it really was a great start to her day.  
>"That's fine thanks Angela. It feels like it has helped a lot."<br>"Good I'm happy I can help and call me Ang please? All my friends do."  
>"Okay. Thanks I will see you tomorrow."<br>"No problems, Deano."  
>Dean looked up in surprise."Deano?"<br>"Ah sorry. I have a cousin named Dean. It just slipped out."  
>"It's okay. Just this once." Dean grinned as he adjusted his jacket over his arm and Angela led the way out of the room.<br>As they passed into the reception area an older lady stepped out from behind the desk as she flicked the lights on. She looked up with surprise at seeing Dean with Angela then smiled with a soft "Good morning."

Both Angela and Dean replied just as soft then Angela was opening the door for Dean and giving him a soft pat on the left shoulder as he moved out the door. Angela left the door open so her clients could enter then turned back to the coffee room behind the reception area for her first brew of the day. By the smile on Betts face when she saw Dean she was in for some teasing today and would need as much coffee as she could get.

TBC


	44. Hanging out

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter 44 Hanging out

Dean bought a big bag full of food for breakfast and a tray of coffee from a slightly upscale café on the way back to the apartment. When he got there, he found Sam still asleep. Normally he would have let him sleep but he knew Sam was going to work at ten am to help with the extra deliveries. Dean crept up to Sam's bedside and waved the coffee cup then a napkin wrapped warm muffin. Sam woke with a grunt and Dean had to laugh at his hair sticking up all over.  
>"Dean?" Sam mumbled.<br>"Easy mumbles. Wake up a little first."  
>Dean handed Sam a coffee and he sipped a few times as Dean sat on the end of the bed and ate the muffin.<br>"You ready for your appointment?"  
>"I just got back. Picked up the coffees on the way."<p>

Sam glanced at his alarm clock.  
>"I set the alarm!"<br>"Yean I turned it off so you could sleep. You didn't need to be up and you have lots of work to do over the next few days."  
>Sam expression softened.<br>"Thanks Dean. How did it go?"  
>"Weirdly alright. I think it might help."<br>"Doesn't help to have a pretty girl rubbing you over either." Sam grinned.  
>"It's not like that, it's purely professional."<p>

Dean got up to get Sam a muffin.  
>"Yeah sure."<br>"It's true. Anyway you should get up and get ready for work lazy boy."  
>"Mmm. Had your meds today?"<br>Dean wearing his sling had not escaped Sam's attention.  
>"Yeah, I have."<br>"You should get some rest today Dean. Your arm must still be very sore."  
>"Yeah, I think I will."<p>

Sam left for work and Dean found any clothes lying around that were in need of a wash and did the barely one load that he had amassed. While he waited for it to wash, he tided up the apartment noticing Sam had recently done it too. They seemed to be doubling up on the domestic duties these days. Dean decided they should probably have some kind of roster in place if they kept going.  
>When the laundry was done, Dean put it in the dryer then read while it tumbled. By the time he took the laundry upstairs and had put it away, his broken arm was screeching at him for rest. Dean took some painkillers and did his exercises while he waited for them to kick in. Dean barely had time to unfold the couch and slip in before he fell to sleep on top of the sheets. Dean woke two hours later feeling a lot better. He got up and showered, putting on some of the new clothes Sam had got him. He had some lunch and put his feet up at the table and finished his book.<p>

Dean wandered around the room without much to do. He eventually decided to head down to the bookstore and get some new books. Okay, and see Sam as well. Dean tucked his sling into his jacket pocket, just in case Sam had a spaz attack about it, and walked down to the store. The shop floor was very quiet so he browsed the shelves at his leisure. He picked out two books he hadn't heard of but sounded okay. The two sales girls chatted to him as he paid for them then he wandered over to the café and ordered two coffees. He was getting to know all the staff very well and they all said hello to him.

Jenny passed by and said hello, looking a bit frazzled, only minutes before Sam dropped down in the seat opposite him.  
>"Hey Dean. Good timing. How's your arm?"<br>"Much better. How goes the delivery?"  
>"Ah it's a nightmare out there. The guy Jenny had coming in to help didn't turn up and they don't have anyone else for us at the moment."<br>"Damn, that makes your job so much harder. Have a coffee."  
>Dean pushed a coffee across and Sam took it gratefully.<br>"You pick some new books out?"

Dean slid them across.  
>"<em>Run Rabbit<em>?' Never heard of it. _'Perfume, the story of a murderer_.' Now that sounds like your kind of book. Actually I heard this is a good book."  
>"I will let you know. Hey, I'll leave them on your shelf so you can read them when you want."<br>"Cool thanks. So what are you getting up to today?"  
>"Dunno. I just bought some books and I have rested and done my exercises so I will probably hang out here till you eat then go for a walk."<br>"You won't be too bored?"  
>"Nuh, I like it here."<br>"Okay then I will let you know when I am getting close to my main break."

Sam went back to work and Dean sat and read, drinking coffee all the while. Jenny came over and chatted, asking about his arm and how he had got on with Angela. Is seemed it was like Angela had said; they were good fiends. Angela came in an hour later and sat with Dean while she had coffee and a sandwich. Dean enjoyed her company and they got on well. She knew both the books Dean had purchased but only read one.

To Dean's surprise, they talked about books for some time. Angela even wrote down some book titles for Dean to read on the back of a napkin and Dean did the same for her. Dean found Angela had a sense of humor similar to his own once she had loosened up around him. She left to go back to work and Dean got another coffee and settled down with his book not looking up until there was a tap on his shoulder and Sam was letting him know he would be out in ten minutes.

TBC


	45. Help wanted

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter forty five Help wanted

Dean ordered the food and laid the table out just as Sam got there.  
>"Was that your physiotherapist with you before?"<br>"Ang, yeah."  
>"Ang huh?"<br>"We're just friends Sammy."  
>"Looked pretty cozy when I came past."<br>"She's nice. She comes in here all the time because she's a close friend of Jenny's."  
>"Uh huh." Sam gave Dean a smug smile.<br>"Just eat your food before it gets cold."  
>"What did she write down?" Sam asked after a few bites of his sub.<br>"We both wrote down some books to read that's all, you perv. Enough of that matchmaking shit, Sammy."  
>Dean slid the napkin over to Sam and he looked at the list.<br>Sam grinned. "I've never set you up with anyone Dean. I've never had to."

Sam's grin faded as he realized why Dean wasn't going out with anyone at the moment. He didn't have the confidence with his new scars and visible injuries. It was the only time Dean was less than his usual confident self around the ladies. He hoped a friendship with Angela would help him.  
>"Hey, your new clothes fit okay? They look good."<br>"Yeah thanks Sammy, they're great."  
>"I'm glad you like them. You should look after yourself better."<br>Dean looked down hating being chastised by his younger brother.  
><em>'Especially when it's true.' Dean thought.<em>  
>"Yeah, I know."<p>

Just as they were finishing lunch, Jenny approached the table.  
>"Do you mind if I sit for a minute guys?"<br>"No, go ahead." Sam offered.  
>"You gonna tell me what a terrible worker Sammy is?" Dean joked.<br>Sam's mouth fell open in surprise at Dean's easy joking manner with his boss.  
>"No." Jenny smiled "in fact just the opposite."<br>"So Sammy's up for employee of the month already?"  
>Dean was really pushing it as far as Sam was concerned but Jenny seemed to enjoy the joke.<br>"Actually you're not far off the mark. I wondered if you would be interested in helping out Dean while we have these shipments to unpack. Just for a few days."

Sam looked at Jenny like her head had flown off and Dean looked at Sam rather than Jenny.  
>"I understand you only have the one arm but if we can get someone to open the boxes and put the books onto carts for Sam to shelve and organize. It doesn't sound like much but it will help a lot in the long run. The pay is pretty good and you will get penalty rates for coming in without notice."<br>"Are you sure you want me? I might be a crap worker."  
>"If you are anything like your brother, I highly doubt it. In fact if you are quarter as good as him I will be happy. The way I see it, a one armed reliable worker is miles better than a two armed worker that doesn't show."<p>

Dean smiled at Jenny's comment. "It's sounds okay, but Sam has to agree to it. We might be brothers but working together might be a bit hard for him."  
>"What about your arm Dean? You're still on strong painkillers and supposed to be resting."<br>"It feels okay Sammy. I think I'm getting used to it getting broken."  
>"What do you mean?" Jenny spoke up.<br>"Dean had it re-broken yesterday."  
>"Oh I'm sorry. When I asked about it earlier you told me it was healing alright."<br>"Yeah it is."  
>"Now," interjected Sam.<br>"Yeah now. But it's okay. I'd like to help out if Sam's alright with it."  
>"Well there would have to be stipulations if you were to work. Extra breaks, less hours and we would have to keep an eye on you at all times." Jenny almost demanded.<p>

Sam smiled softly. She sounded like he did when he fussed over Dean.  
>"What do you think, Sammy?"<br>"I guess if it is just taking books out of the boxes but I have some conditions of my own. Dean will have to go home and get his painkillers and sling."  
>Dean reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the sling then into his inside pocket for the container of pills.<br>"Alright but I'm allowed to fuss and make sure you have breaks." Sam pressed his point louder than he normally spoke in the store.  
>"Deal."<br>"Thanks, Dean. I really appreciate it. You are getting me out of a huge hole. I hate having the back doors blocked with stock. If we were inspected, we would be in so much trouble."  
>"No problem."<p>

Sam got up and pulled Dean's jacket off him gently then put the sling on nice and firm. He made sure Dean took two of his pills while Jenny cleaned up the table. Jenny and Sam took Dean into the back of the store and showed him around. Sam noticed Dean taking in the way the shelves were organized and the way the carts were loaded without comment. Sam found Dean an apron and they went to the area around the back door where there were a hundred or so boxes stacked high. Dean saw ten book carts and ten shopping carts lined up waiting for books.

Jenny handed Dean a box cutter.  
>"Be careful with that. Don't worry about the carts; I rented them from a rental place. That's why they're so clean. I'd love to hang around and help, but we are about to have no staff on the floor if I don't get out there. I will try to get back and check up on you Dean but I'm trusting Sam to look after you so do what he says. Play the little brother for a while and let him be the boss, it won't hurt you."<br>Jenny reached up and ruffled Dean's hair then patted Sam on the shoulder as she walked past, much to his surprise.  
>"Jesus Dean, does everyone love you?"<p>

Sam's look of shock gave away how stunned he was that Jenny had touched them both in such a friendly way. Sure she was friendly to him and they joked around a bit but ruffle hair and pat on the shoulder?  
>"What can I say? I'm adorable."<br>"And loveable apparently."  
>Dean grinned cheekily.<br>"All right let's get to work. I will open a couple of boxes with you to start with to see how you go then go back to the stacks."  
>"It's okay, Sammy. I think I can open a few boxes."<br>"Indulge me for a little while, then I will leave you alone for a bit."

Dean sighed quietly to himself, knowing he should have expected his brother to be overprotective while he was less than one hundred percent. He had to admit to himself that his arm was still sore from the new break but felt better in the cast than it did the first time. He didn't want to have it broken again.

_'Now that would suck.'_

TBC


	46. Working man

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter forty six Working Man

Dean took it easy for the first two boxes, going slowly while he felt Sam's eyes on him. His plastered arm felt heavy and in the way but his left relished the work. He always practiced what ever he did with his left as much as his right so it was suited to the job. He could shoot just as well with his left as his right, something Sam had never mastered. When Sam had enough books to fill one cart, he wheeled it over to the stacks and began to put them away. Dean had been putting the books on the carts as they came out of the boxes while Sam had been watching. As soon as he left, Dean quickly rearranged the ones on the cart he had filled.

Dean sorted them so they were in the same order as the stacks so when Sam pulled them off the cart, they would be next to each other saving Sam time. He pushed the cart to the end of the first stack of selves, then went back and placed ten boxes on a knee high bench and opened them all. Dean sorted the ten boxes into the same order again using various carts to keep the books in their respective order. It turned out to be a good system and Dean had the boxes empty in no time. Dean stacked the empty boxes in one corner out of the way then opened the next ten. Dean quickly had the next ten done and the full carts waiting for Sam. Sam bought his first cart back, surprised by Dean's progress.  
>"You're not overdoing it are you, Dean?"<br>"No way man. I just worked out an easy way of doing it."

Sam walked over and peered closely at Dean. He was cutting open the seal at the bottom of the boxes and laying them flat on top of each other in the corner. He didn't seem to be working too hard, but he had gotten through a lot of boxes in no time. Sam couldn't see sweat on his face so he wheeled the carts down an aisle of shelves and started work. It didn't take Sam long to figure out the books had been sorted for him. He had never seen anyone put the books in such detailed order straight from the boxes. Sure, he did put them in a rough order when he opened the boxes, but nothing as easy to shelve as these were. Dean had picked up their shelving system very quickly. He should have known. Despite claiming not to be, Sam knew Dean was a very smart man.

Sam walked to the end of the stack and peered around stealthy, trying to see how Dean was doing it. He saw him arrange ten boxes close to each other on a low bench, and five carts. Dean opened the boxes swiftly and sorted the books into the carts as he pulled them from the box. With Dean's quick brain, he was sorting them before he even had them out of the box. Sam knew it for sure when Dean took one look in a box and pushed it to the end cart and put all the books from the box in the one cart just rearranging two books. Sam had to admit it was a good system and Dean had it down pat but what impressed Sam was how quick Dean was with just one hand. Probably faster than what Sam was with two. Jenny had done well picking Dean for this job. He was a hundred times better than some high school kid would have been and at this rate they would have the shipment done in a few hours, ready for the next one the following day. Sam turned back to work with a grin, very proud of his big brother.

True to Sam's prediction, Dean had all the boxes unpacked and ready for shelving in just a few hours. Sam could hardly keep up with him. Jenny had peeked in twice to make sure Dean was okay, both times impressed with the work they were getting done. Sam made Dean take a ten minute break and they went out for a quick cold drink before getting back to work. Dean had to wait for the carts to be returned at one point and used the time to tidy up the area and give it a sweep. When he finished the last box, he took the boxes to the compactor outside without being asked then swept the area again and pushed the last of the carts around to Sam.

Sam was pretty busy so Dean helped out with the last few carts, getting scolded from Sam for doing stuff he wasn't supposed to. By the time they were done and tidied up, Sam had just fifteen minutes left on his shift. Dean went out and bought them coffee and sat and read while he waited. Dean took his sling off now that he wasn't working and was told off by Sam in no uncertain terms. Sam even made Dean stand up so he could slip the sling back on. Dean wasn't happy, but he had to play along because Jenny passed by at that moment and was on Sam's side.

They left the bookstore and went straight to the apartment. Sam went in for a shower so Dean decided to rustle up some grub. He kept it fairly simple and was surprised how much Sam fussed over the butter chicken and steamed rice saying it was to die for.  
>"It's chicken and rice Sammy. Pretty simple."<br>"I love how you say that Dean. Butter chicken, assembling an AK-47, rebuilding a motor, banishing a poltergeist, unpacking four million books; pretty simple. Just another day in the life for Dean Winchester." Sam was grinning as he finished.  
>"Have you been sniffing the ink on those books you put away today Sammy?"<p>

Dean slid two bottles of beer out of the fridge, opened them and handed one to Sam.  
>"Very funny Dean. Seriously this is great and so is helping at the store. I don't know what we would have done without you."<br>"Still be working is my guess." Dean took a long pull on his beer.  
>"Yeah, true that. Make sure you rest your arm tonight. You earned that beer but no more while you are on painkillers."<br>"Aye aye, captain Sam."

They finished their dinner and Sam insisted on cleaning up while Dean took a shower. Neither of them had much energy for a movie so they watched two episodes of the Simpsons and headed to bed. Dean fell asleep with his book on his chin making Sam grin and pull the book off, after he had taken the photo to stir him up of course.

TBC


	47. Dirty sunset

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter forty seven Dirty Sunset

The next morning was a repeat performance of the morning before as far as Dean was up early and he had a slightly more enjoyable appointment with Angela. They were getting more relaxed around each other and talked about everyday things while she worked on him. Dean bought Sam his breakfast then he got up and they got ready for work together. Sam decided to drive the Impala down to the store and talked Dean into going to a movie with him that afternoon when they got off work as they drove along. Sam found a spot for the shiny beast right out in front where Dean could keep an eye on her whenever he was on the shop floor. Being a few minutes early, they each had a coffee then got into the same routine as the day before.

Dean's arm felt a little better than the day before and he was hopeful it would heal better this time. As they did the day before, they whizzed through the boxes of books like a well oiled machine. Sam made Dean take a break every hour, much to his disgust, and Jenny announced they had just two more deliveries of books until they were done with the major shipment for the year. After work, they went to the movies. Dean let Sam pick because he was feeling tired but wanted to make an effort for Sam. He deliberately kept his hands away from his face should they deceive him and rub his eyes in front of Sam.

They had a good time and Dean was very surprised when Sam pushed him into the Italian restaurant next to the movie complex for dinner. Dean was a little embarrassed, as he still had his sling on at Sam's insistence, but enjoyed the food just the same. Sam drove them down to the closest beach without telling a drowsy Dean where they were heading. Sam dragged Dean down to the almost deserted beach just as the sun was about to set. Sam surprised Dean by sitting him on the top of a dune and sitting behind him and pulling him back to his chest. Dean resisted at first, but when Sam slipped his sling over his head and put in his pocket and took up the broken wing along his arm, Dean let Sam have his moment. He knew they were few and far between.

They sat and enjoyed the sun setting deep in their own thoughts. The sun dipped below the horizon and they were left in almost complete darkness. Sam was surprised Dean had been quiet so long and was resting his full weight on Sam's front.  
>"Hey Dean, wanna get going?"<br>No reply.  
>"Dean?"<p>

No reply again. Sam lean forward and saw Dean's eyes were shut and he was in a light doze. Sam grinned and pulled Dean in tighter to his chest. He was a little surprised when Dean relaxed more into him and his breathing evened out even more. Sam stayed on the sand with his brother in his arms relishing the moment. It was so rare that Dean took comfort from him that he stayed still even though his back was a bit sore.

After half an hour, Dean groaned a little and sat up slowly. Sam was still holding his arm but Dean pulled it to his chest in obvious pain.  
>"You got your pills Dean?"<br>"I ran out earlier. I didn't know we were going out after work until we were leaving for work. It's my fault I should have bought extra."  
>Sam sighed and pulled Dean slowly to his feet.<br>"Let's get you home and get you feeling better buddy."

Dean got up slowly, his body stiff from sleeping against his brother, but still managed a chuckle.  
>"That sounded dirty Sammy. You gonna make me feel better?" Dean snickered as he stumbled along the sand with Sam holding his elbow.<br>"Very funny Dean. You're sounding a lot like your old self."  
>"I am?"<br>"Yeah a bit but you always had a great sense of humor."  
>"Great? You always called my sense of humor crap."<br>"I guess you never know what you've got till it's gone. I miss your jokes. You always made things feel a bit better."  
>"Eh. That sounds way too chick flick Sammy."<p>

Sam was surprised to hear Dean say something he hadn't heard for a long time. He wrapped his arm around Dean's back to guide him over the looser sand and up the stairs to the car.  
>"Okay Dean. I'm sorry I kept you out too late."<br>"It's okay Sammy. It was a good night."  
>Sam watched with amusement as Dean scraped his shoes thoroughly of sand and waited for Sam to do the same. Sam got them home in no time, pressing painkillers into Dean's hand as soon as they were in the door. Sam made Dean go for the first shower while he got a basket of dirty clothes organized. Sam had the couch unfolded by the time Dean came out and he slipped gratefully in as Sam went off for his shower.<p>

When Sam came out, Dean was asleep on his side with his cast cradled in his other arm much like Sam had done to him at the beach. Sam smiled, filled with warmth and happiness from spending the day happily with his brother. It lasted while he read a book for a while then fell to sleep.

TBC


	48. Like old times

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter forty eight Like old times, but not

Sam was up before Dean in the morning and had breakfast ready before he even stirred. Sam noticed Dean was sleepy and muddleheaded dressing in the living room without seeming to know what he was doing or that Sam could see him easily from the kitchen. Sam noticed Dean was still looking thin despite his efforts to get Dean to eat more. Sam watched as Dean packed away the bed, somewhat concerned at his slowness and how much he stumbled around. Sam saw him clutch his arm with a grimace and moved to get his pills for him.

Sam noticed they were a little lower than they had been the night before.  
>"So how was your night?" Sam asked.<br>"Little restless, why?" Dean mumbled as he put away his sleeping clothes.  
>"I noticed you took some pills during the night." Sam handed Dean two tablets and a glass of water. "Your arm not settling down?"<br>"It's okay. Just feels like it got broken two days ago."

Sam took the glass back from Dean and handed him a plate of breakfast.  
>"Eat. Did you get any sleep? You look very tired."<br>"I'm okay."  
>"I know you're 'okay' you're always okay. I asked if you slept much last night."<br>"I got enough sleep Sammy."  
>"Maybe we should take you back to the doctor and get you something to help you sleep."<br>"It's okay, Sammy. It will settle down in a day or two. Till then I will take the meds when I need them."  
>Dean ate his breakfast then cleaned up for his appointment. Sam sat and frowned as he moved about getting ready.<br>"Just take it easy, Dean. I mean it."  
>Sam patted his brother on the shoulder as he went to the door checking the sling to make sure it was tight enough, ignoring Dean when he rolled his eyes.<p>

Sam did the load of laundry he had put together the night before after he got dressed. He was studying as Dean came back in the door and realized Dean was a little later than normal and it was almost time to take off for work. Sam asked Dean if he was alright to work and if he had his tablets. As they walked, Dean explained that he was late because Angela's secretary had held him up and asked him a million questions and Dean being Dean was to polite to just walk out even with Angela chuckling beside him. She wanted to know all about Angela's 'private' patient. Sam made a mental note to talk to Angela when he saw her. Anyone that could trap his brother in an embarrassing situation was worth getting to know in his book.

They went straight to the bookstore and quickly got into their unpacking routine. Jenny came into the storeroom and chatted to Dean for a few minutes, making sure he was okay and if he was alright to work one more day. Jenny was very happy with his work, letting him know in no uncertain terms that they would have been doing it for another week if it weren't for his help. Sam noticed Dean ordered his coffee as a double shot every time he had the opportunity. He couldn't have slept anywhere near as much as he claimed and Sam saw more evidence when he watched him work. He was actually yawning and moving slower than he had any other day he worked there. Sam was concerned about his brother and kept a close eye on him whenever he could. Jenny must have noticed as well as she checked in on him frequently and asked Sam if he was alright. Sam assured her he was just a little tired.

Sam took Dean straight home after work and made him dinner while he took a shower under Sam's firm instructions to stay in and have a long one. Dean came out to a large plate of spaghetti Bolognese at the table. Sam pressed his tablets into Dean's hand and they ate together before Sam went in for his shower and Dean cleaned up against Sam's wishes and was told off for it. Sam pulled the bed out and made Dean lay down when they watched TV but he pulled his chair up close to keep him company. Sam wasn't surprised when Dean fell asleep three quarters of the way through the movie they were watching. He had been watching him closely during the night and knew his arm was hurting even though he was hiding it in true Dean fashion. Sam guessed it should hurt since it had only been re-broken a few days ago. Sam decided to give him another day before he took him back to the doctors.

In the meantime, Sam left the bedroom door open when he went to bed and was up twice when he heard Dean groaning during the night. When he woke up in the morning, he woke lying next to Dean on the fold out bed. He was fortunate it was a double though he woke up close to Dean with his hand still on Dean's back who was curled up laying the other way. When Sam went to the kitchen and put the kettle on, Dean woke and stretched.  
>"Hey Dean. How you feeling?"<br>"Better thanks. And thanks for last night, the damn thing was throbbing like a bitch. It seems to have calmed down this morning though."  
>"That's great Dean. If you need me during the night don't be worried about yelling out. I have about eighteen years to make up for all the times you helped me out."<p>

Dean sighed as he got up and dressed, this time going to Sam's bedroom to dress.  
>"Thanks Sammy I will, and you don't have to make that stuff up, it's what brothers do for each other," he reaffirmed.<p>

TBC


	49. The best brother

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter forty nine The best brother

Sam's mouth hung open as Dean closed the door softy. Dean had spent so much time playing himself down as the dumbest in their family that he was always shocked when Dean showed glimpses of just how smart and knowledgeable he was. His amazing insight into brotherly relationships always made him proud he was Dean's brother. Sam had breakfast cooked by the time Dean had packed away the bed and his bed clothes. They ate, watching the morning news since Dean didn't have an appointment that morning.

Dean helped Sam clean up and waited, watching TV while Sam got ready for work. They walked to work together and were early enough to grab coffees before they started. Dean ordered them both double shots without asking Sam, knowing they were both tired from the rough night Dean had. Dean worked faster than he had since he had been there and ended up helping Sam finish stocking the shelves, pulling orders and filling shelves on the floor. As Sam was putting his last cartful of books on the shelves, he looked over and saw Dean was talking to two young blonde girls. Sam sidled over closer and heard them talking about books. In the few minutes of the conversation he caught, he could tell the girls were interested in Dean and not just the books he was showing them.

Sam chuckled to himself and took the empty cart back to the storeroom. He saw it was time for their break so he bought food from the café for the both of them then sat and waited with amusement as Dean tried to shake the girls off as they followed him around as he excused himself and went back to work. Dean finished the cart and put it away, then joined Sam at the café. Sam grinned at him and nudged him under the table.  
>"What's up with you and your size a million knees Sam?"<br>"I saw you helping those chicks," Sam chuckled, "I never thought I would see the day."  
>"Very funny Sammy. I gave them your number."<br>"Ha, ha."  
>"Wait till your phone rings next." Dean taunted with his eyebrows up.<p>

Sam laughed but it ended quickly because he wasn't sure Dean was kidding.  
>"Just eat your lunch big brother."<br>"Thanks little brother, you too." Dean said with mock sweetness.  
>Jenny came up to them when they were almost finished their lunch and were chatting about what to do that night.<br>"Dean could you stay a couple more hours and put up two new displays I need to do? Sam can help."  
>"Yeah okay."<br>"Thanks Dean you've been great. Luckily we have your brother or we would miss you loads, as it is we will miss you a fair bit."

Sam was surprised to see Jenny's hand patting Dean's left forearm like they were the best of friends, or more.  
>"No problem. You have the best brother working for you anyway." Dean smiled at Jenny.<br>Sam looked down slightly embarrassed that his brother was openly praising him.  
>"Oh you're so nice to your brother, Dean. I wish my siblings were like you, then there would be no dreading Christmas and birthdays every year. You are a lucky man Sam. Look after him."<br>Jenny gave Dean's shoulder a gentle pat as she got up and went back to the storeroom.  
>"Ooh, I think she likes you Deano," Sam teased.<br>"Shut up Sammy. Let's get back to work."

Jenny already had the books stacked on three carts for the first display so they wheeled them out once Sam had snagged the plan off the board. They went to the display and neatened up the few books that were still there to make room for the new ones. It didn't take them long to have the first display done and moved on to the other. They saw Jenny flitting around here and there before taking the empty carts back to the storeroom.

Dean was washing his hands when Jenny came up beside him.  
>"Hey Dean, do you mind doing one more thing before you go?"<br>"Sure."  
>"I have these three smaller cardboard displays of books for the shop floor. One for the kids area, one for the teenage section and one in the adult fiction area."<br>She handed him a map of the store with three stars marked on it.  
>"I'm guessing you can tell where they go. I will meet you in the back office when you are finished."<br>"No problems."  
>Jenny wheeled a large but light roll cage with three made up displays on it. He wheeled it out to the floor and started to off load them which was fairly easy even with the one good arm. He used the hand in his cast to guide the displays and his left for the muscle. He had to field several questions from customers but managed to get back to the stockroom twenty minutes after he went out.<p>

After he washed up again he went around to the office only to find most off the staff gathered around the doorway. As he approached Jenny and Sam came out of the office and everyone stopped talking and looked at him expectantly.

TBC


	50. Speech  maker

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter fifty Speech maker

Jenny strode up to Dean and held him by his left elbow facing the group around the doorway with Sam front and center hanging by the doorway.  
>"Thank you all for coming. I just wanted to thank Dean for helping us out with the shipment this week. Even though you were with us for only a few days you touched our hearts and we wish you all the best for a full recovery. In saying that, if you decide to settle down around here one day come see us again if you need some work. "<br>Everyone clapped and Dean went red as he glared at Sam.  
>"As promised, your wages for the week and a gift from all of us."<br>Jenny handed Dean an envelope that looked jammed with cash and a bundle of books tied with a thick green ribbon. There was another thinner envelope on top of the pile and Dean looked down the spines and noticed they were all brand new and the books Angela had recommended Dean a few days before. Dean looked up in shock in time to see Angela step out from behind Sam. Dean gave her a look that said _'I will get you for this later'_ and she laughed at him and shook her head.

There were cry's of '_speech_' to which Sam thought Dean would back away from even though the group was very small but Dean surprised him by clearing his throat.  
>"Okay, Okay! Well, I think it's a bit weird giving someone who has only been here to fill in for a few days a gift but it shows what a fantastic team Jenny has working here. Mark Twain appropriately said it best when he said 'Synergy is the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.' Jenny has worked hard to have everyone happy in their work and together I'm sure you will all achieve great things. I want to thank everyone for taking it easy on me and wish you all the best for the future and good luck working with Sam." Dean finished with a grin.<p>

There was a round of applause and Sam saw some damp eyes as he stepped across the circle and stepped into Dean's side and gave him a light playful jab.  
>"Cool speech Dean." He said in Dean's ear softly as the clapping tapered off.<br>"So seriously folks take care of my brother for me or I will be back," Dean joked half seriously.  
>It got the required laughter and the group chatted amongst themselves as they individually shook Dean's hand, thanked him and wandered back to work. Sam was very proud and pleased with how Dean had handled himself even though he had been blushing the whole time.<p>

Jenny and Angela hung back talking to Dean and Sam. They looked through the books and chatted quite comfortably. Dean opened the envelope on top of the books to find a card signed by all the staff. Angela invited them out to dinner after work which Sam pushed Dean into accepting then they left to go home after fixing a time and place for dinner. Sam insisted on carrying the books home while Dean accused Sam of setting him up. Sam insisted he had no idea until Jenny cornered him while Dean was washing up when they had finished on the floor together. Sam noticed Dean was limping as they walked so he insisted Dean have a lay down on his bed when they got home. Dean felt a little weird lying on Sam's bed but he guessed the bond of brother ship made him feel warm and safe and he even drifted off to sleep without wanting to.

Sam woke him up an hour later and led him to the bathroom where his clothes were laid out. Dean noted that Sam had dragged a pair of dress pants out and a white shirt that looked cleaned and ironed. Dean thanked Sam and had a shower and a one armed shave which was harder than it looked. Sam stepped in and gave him a hand smiling as he tried to refuse help. Dean couldn't wait until his arm was back at the stage he could use his hand again. Sam had his shower and Dean noticed he had set out his dress jacket so Dean went down to the Impala and found his cleanest and nicest tie and put it on. It was a little hard with his arm being so sore but he managed.

Sam was surprised to find Dean sitting on the couch with a green and yellow striped tie sitting on the couch.  
>"Hey Dean you look great."<br>"You too Sammy, you ready?"  
>"Yeah. Dean take your crutch."<br>"I don't need it Sam."  
>"Yes you do. I saw you limping earlier."<br>"I think the cast makes me look bad enough don't you?"  
>"How about you take it with us? Just in case?"<br>"All right, all right, if it keeps the peace."  
>Dean dragged the hated crutch out from behind the couch and they tromped downstairs to the car.<p>

They got to the restaurant on time and Sam teased Dean about which woman he was going to end up with. They both seemed to like Dean a lot and that was pressed home when both girls exclaimed over the fact Dean was wearing a tie. Sam noticed Dean got a firm hug from both of them and that they both ran a hand down his back and fussed over his broken arm. Sam felt a little jealous when he got a short hug from each of them before realizing one was his boss and the other someone he barely knew.

Dean suggested a drink before dinner and ordered drinks for all when the women wanted to try a cocktail but had no clue what they wanted. Sam was amused by the fruity drinks until Dean threatened him with one. Dean handed Sam his favorite beer with a chuckle as he palmed his own. They chatted comfortably as they drank then went to the main restaurant and found a quiet table in a corner. Dean surprised Sam by being quite knowledgeable on books and authors backgrounds. He knew had been cramming somewhat in the last couple of weeks but he wasn't sure all the knowledge was from his cramming, some had to be from before. But before he was twenty? He guessed so. Dean was always saying he was as dumb as a brick but then he would help Sam with his homework and disprove that image. Sam realized Dean never helped Sam with his homework when their dad was around. He didn't think it was convenience because John was hardly ever around when they were growing up so it gave Dean plenty of time to help Sam.

TBC

* * *

><p>Yeah fifty chapters gone. Not long to go.<p> 


	51. Morning professor

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter fifty one Morning professor

Sam wanted to sit back and observe his brother in this kind of social situation but Dean kept pulling him into the conversation, even nudging him with his elbow a few times when he stirred him up. Sam found himself laughing and smiling at jokes made by others at the table but Dean wasn't content until he had Sam joining in the joke telling and conversation.

All in all, it was a nice dinner and when Angela asked them back to her place for coffee, Sam had to accept since the evening was going so well. It turned out Angela had and ulterior motive for inviting them back to her place. She thought Dean looked a bit sore after a few days work at the shop and wanted to give him a rub on the house at the house. Dean had been hiding it fairly well but his back was sore which meant his legs were not as good as they could be. Angela set Sam and Jenny up with coffee and her rare book collection and dragged Dean by the hand to her spare room that happened to have a massage bed set up permanently in the corner.

Even though Angela was fairly gentle with him, Dean was in a fair amount of twitchy nerve pain. Angela said that was good as it was stimulation movement in his back but Dean thought it was a bit weird that his legs were dancing all over without him doing anything. While Dean was putting his shirt back on, Angela went out to the others who were still standing looking at Angela's large collection.  
>"Sam, I wonder if you could get Dean's sling and crutch out of the car for him."<br>"Is he alright?" Sam frowned in concern and started to move towards the door Angela and Dean had gone into before realizing he had no idea where Dean was.  
>"He's fine Sam. Just some nerve pain but it's okay, just some over stimulated muscles and nerves."<br>"What about the sling?" Sam wasn't convinced Dean was less than okay. If he was showing signs of pain it was usually a bad thing.  
>"He's left shoulder is tired so the right is over compensating. Best to rest it for a few hours even if he disagrees."<p>

It sounded to Sam like Angela knew Dean fairly well already. He sighed as he made his way out to the car and brought back the required items. Dean was sitting in a chair in Angela's library room when he returned. He refused the sling as predicted but soon had to give in as it was three against one. Angela fixed more coffee and they chatted about books, TV and movies for another forty minutes. Sam noticed Dean was starting to quiet down, meaning he was getting tired, so he hauled him to his feet and called it a night. Sam was given a peck on the cheek by both women and felt lighter knowing he had made two new friends. Thanks to Dean. Back at the apartment, Sam pushed Dean in to a quickly made bed before taking a glass of milk to bed to read for a while. It took him a lot longer than Dean, who was breathing deeply in sleep minutes after he lay down, to fall to sleep that night.

In the morning, Sam had nothing on and decided food shopping and another trip to the university bookstore was in order. Dean wanted to come, even to the university, which surprised Sam. He seemed to have thrown off the soreness from the night before and was in good spirits, insisting Sam give him a tour of the university grounds. Sam drove Dean around in the Impala and showed him where most of his classes were. At the bookstore, Dean helped Sam find the books he needed then gave Dean the keys to the car and told him he could wait in the car if he wanted to as he was going to browse for a while. Dean took the keys and headed in the direction of the doors and Sam walked the other way deep into the shelves.

Twenty minutes later, Sam was walking towards the checkout when he saw Dean sitting at a table with two young guys writing on a piece of paper. Sam frowned over at him and Dean lifted a hand to indicate he would just be a minute. When Sam had bought his books, he turned to find Dean standing behind him still chatting to the two guys he didn't know.  
>"Hey Sam, this is Wes and Leonard. Guys this is my brother…"<br>"Sam Winchester , right?"  
>Sam looked and sounded surprised. "Ah yeah. I'm sorry I don't think we have met."<br>Sam shook their hands.  
>"That's okay you don't really know me," chuckled Wes, "My girlfriend is in your Civil Procedure class. Lily Meyers?"<br>"Oh yeah. How do you know Dean?"

Wes looked a little embarrassed. "I thought Dean was a professor and started asking him questions about quantum theory. We're physics students."  
>Sam nodded his understanding.<br>"Well Dean was nice enough to show me the wave mechanics equation I was having trouble with before telling me he is just visiting his brother. When he said his brother was a law student I put it together. It still doesn't explain how he knew the equations." Wes finished with a broad smile.  
>Sam glanced at Dean who was trying to blend in to the background.<br>"Dean's a lot smarter than he lets on. Is that what he was writing down?" Sam was keen to find out exactly what it was Dean was helping them with.  
>"Actually he was helping us with Wave Duality of Light and Matter. It's what Leonard is stuck on. It helped me as well even though I thought I knew that part."<br>Sam frowned. He knew Dean was smart but quantum physics?  
>"So thanks, Dean and thanks for your number, we will try not to call too often. Bye Sam, see you around."<p>

Sam and Dean said goodbye and they walked out to the Impala.  
>"So professor, how did you meet those guys?"<br>"It was like Wes said, he just came up and started asking questions. I just answered him without thinking. Next thing I know, I'm explaining wave mechanics to nerds. I can't believe I even remembered that stuff. I haven't even thought about it since high school."  
>"You did that stuff in high school?"<br>"Yeah a couple of teachers gave me some advanced stuff to do."  
>"Why did the teachers give you extra work?"<br>"I was bored and making trouble."  
>"You making trouble ?" Sam grinned.<br>"Little bit."

TBC


	52. Long distance call

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter fifty two Long distance call

Sam drove them to the store and they bought groceries. They unloaded them at the apartment and then Sam made lunch. They were just finishing up when Sam's phone rang. It was Jenny asking Sam to cover a shift if he had the time. It seemed the bug was still going around and she was struggling for workers. Sam checked with Dean then went in to work for a few hours. Dean decided on a walk, purposefully walking the opposite way of the bookstore. Dean had a pleasant walk then went back to the apartment and washed the car. Since there was no laundry to do he tidied up the apartment then his duffle bag. He made lemon chicken for dinner and left it in a mildly warm oven to keep warm.

He was sitting at the table flicking through his notebook when his phone rang. Dean looked at his phone in surprise. John had finally gotten around to give him a call. About time.  
>"Hey dad, how's things?"<br>"Okay Dean. Are you about ready to take off?"  
>"What?"<br>"Leave. Haven't you intruded on Sam long enough? I have a job for you."  
>"Dad, I'm recovering from getting shot and Sam likes me being here." Dean frowned even though John couldn't see him.<br>"You've had plenty of time to get better, Dean. Time to get back in the saddle. I have an easy salt and burn in the next state for you. Once you get to…"  
>"Dad! You're not listening are you? I can't even walk properly. I just had my arm re-broken. How am I meant to dig a grave?"<br>"You will manage like you always do. Come on Dean, get the lead out."  
>"I haven't been cleared to drive yet."<br>"Huh. Since when did that bother you? I've seen you drive fifty miles with a fifteen inch stake through your leg. You can drive with a broken arm. You know the doctors have no idea what they are talking about. I will meet you in Arizona in the morning."  
>"Dad no, I can't. I'm still missing years of my life and have bad headaches. I just need a little longer to get better. If you had bothered to call or come see me you would know."<p>

Speaking of headaches there was a bad one settling between his eyes right now.  
>"Are you talking back to me? Sam did this didn't he? Sam made you soft and encouraged you to think for yourself. He always hated that you did as you were told. Well you have to man up and get back to work. People are dying while you and your brother have a little holiday in the sun out there."<br>Dean couldn't believe what his father was saying. Surely he understood that he needed time to recover. He buried his knuckles in the side of his head as his headache overwhelmed his effort to get his father to understand. He was suddenly feeling very sick to his stomach.  
>"Dad it's not Sam it's …"<br>"I don't care what your excuse is Dean. I said there's a job and you need to go do it. You are a soldier and you have had more than enough time to get better."  
>"Not this time. I'm sorry dad but…"<p>

Dean was surprised to hear a click on the line then static as the line went dead. Dean breathed deeply a few times struggling with his breathing as went into a full blown panic attack. He had a few when he was a small kid and John had left them alone for a long time. He lurched up from the table, throwing his phone away as he bolted into the bathroom and managed to flick the lid open just in time to throw up noisily into the toilet. Dean threw up until there was nothing left and his headache was huge. Dean washed the bathroom and washed himself up quickly then limped out of the room, crushing his already fractured phone under his boot as he went.

He turned off the oven with a jerk and scooped up his keys and pain pills before leaving the apartment. He didn't bother to leave a note, his head hurt too much and his brain was searing with image after image. A visual monologue of his life flashing through his brain to fast to work out what any of them meant. He didn't have his crutch or his sling but walked without a direction in mind. A walk usually worked to free him from a panic attack and it might take his mind off the pain. After two hours or walking, he sat down on a park bench he came across, surprised to find he was sitting across from the liquor store he had been shot in, his brain still in full panic mode.

* * *

><p>Sam walked into the apartment only ten minutes after Dean had left. He felt the essence of Dean's presence in the room and walked to the living room. Seeing Dean wasn't there, he followed his nose to the kitchen and pulled dinner out of the oven. Sam frowned and checked the fridge and counter for a note then walked back out to the living room.<p>

He walked to the bathroom and pushed the half ajar door open all the way. Even though the light was on, Dean wasn't there. Sam took a step in seeing the sink still wet and heard a crunch under his shoe. Sam looked down and saw bits of Dean's phone on the floor. He bent and picked them up noticing the toilet was wet around the rim. He breathed in deeply and thought he smelled the faint wisp of vomit. Sam frowned and took the pieces of phone to the table where he noticed the chair was out from the table and Dean's notebook sat on the table. It was cover up so it didn't look like Dean had been reading it. Sam frowned trying to work out what had happened and where Dean was.

TBC


	53. Too much at once

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter fifty three Too much at once

Dean sat with his head in his hands for some time waiting for the pain to abate. He felt drops fall sluggishly from his nose and saw by the street lights it was blood. He pulled the sling from his jacket pocket and swiped it away. His brain was having no luck sorting out the images that flashed across his brain. They were clearly parts of his life but what, how, when and why? It was all moving way too quick for him to get anything but pain. Dean suddenly wished for the beer he had last time he was here, anything to numb his brain a little. He fumbled in his pocket and came out with his pain pills. He dry swallowed three with a painful shrug of his shoulders. It was above the recommended amount but he needed release from the pain as quick as possible.

Dean noticed he was shaking and knew it was left over adrenaline from the panic attack that had gradually dissipated as he sat and gripped the wooden bench till he felt small splinters crumble to the ground. He sat and held his head until the headache backed off slightly. When he got to the point where it was back to a dull throb and the images were no longer front and center of his attention, he rose and started to walk in the direction of the apartment.

* * *

><p>Sam searched the apartment block, including looking in the car, before going back upstairs and eating the food Dean had prepared for him. He was hoping Dean had just gone for a walk to clear his head. The phone was smashed beyond recognition so he couldn't get any data off it as yet. He could always call the phone company and find out the last number if he had to.<p>

Sam waited an hour after dinner then drove the Impala around for a while looking for Dean. He checked all the places he thought Dean would go, even swinging past Angela's house and office just in case. Jenny was surprised to see him again as she was locking up but informed Sam she had not seen him at all that day. Sam tried not to worry as he returned back to the apartment and found it empty. He wanted to drive around looking for his brother but didn't want to leave incase he came back. He ended up laying on the couch waiting for him until he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Dean got back to the apartment block but couldn't bring himself to go up and see Sam. They had been getting on well but he had a bad feeling and a bad headache and didn't feel like Sam fussing over him. Dean found the Impala was still ticking as it cooled down. Sam must have been out for a drive. Dean hoped Sam wasn't worried about him. He was feeling too sore and too messed up to go up and let Sam know he was okay.<p>

Instead he slipped into the back seat and locked the door behind him. Dean lay down on the back seat and took three more tablets as the headache reaffirmed itself between his eyebrows and his nose trickled more blood. Dean was hit with flashes of his life as he lay still to let the pills work. His dad yelling, Sam yelling, his dad yelling at Sam, Sam yelling at dad, himself yelling at both of them. It hurt Dean's heart that their life had been as bad as Sam had hinted at.  
>'I should have known Sam would never lie.'<br>That didn't stop him hating the fact Sam had left out so much.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Sam woke very late on the couch. He frowned at the sun coming in the window and that he had not been disturbed all night meaning Dean had not come back. Sam had a quick shower and changed hoping to catch Dean at his therapy appointment this morning.<br>'If he goes there.'

Sam drove fast and arrived forty minutes after Dean's appointment time only to find Dean had been and gone. Sam drove around to all the places that he thought Dean might be, but his brother eluded him all day. Sam had the day off work due to the amount of hours he had done in the last couple of weeks but he found himself hanging around the apartment or driving around looking for him. He almost missed his meals he was so worried. He hoped Dean was eating properly. Sam found himself on the couch again that night waiting for Dean to show up. Unlike the night before, he couldn't settle but instead restlessly watched TV, read books, wandered from room to room and looked through Dean's bag hoping for a clue where his brother was.

* * *

><p>Dean spent the day wandering the streets between Sam's apartment and the liquor store. He had gone to his therapy appointment purely because he had an appointment and he hated pissing people off when he didn't show. He had rushed through the exercises so he could be gone incase Sam showed up and because he really didn't feel like it.<p>

His headache was bad again and the pills were no longer doing the job. Dean wanted to raid the first aid kit in the Impala for different pills but would have to wait until Sam was asleep again that night. Once his appointment was over, he wandered the streets again stopping at a coffee shop for coffee then when that failed to do the job, a small liquor store for a six pack of beer. He didn't care what he bought just grabbed the first ones from the fridge. The store was making him freak out slightly even though it wasn't the one he had been shot in. He found himself back at the park bench across from that fated liquor store drinking his beer.

Dean had no clue what he was going to do with himself but knew he would have to decide soon. His therapist had given him the all clear to drive short distances and see how he went. He knew Sam would be worried about him but for the life of him he didn't want to see him while his head was so jumbled up. Dean walked back to Sam's apartment when it was late and slipped into the back seat of the car after grabbing the first aid kit out of the trunk. Dean pulled out all the painkillers he could find happy to find some stuff even stronger than the doctor had prescribed. Dean took two with his last can of beer thinking as he started to drift off that he had forgotten to eat for over a day.

'Sam would have a cow if he found out.'

TBC


	54. Cocktail room

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter fifty four Cocktail room

In the dawn light, Dean slipped out of the Impala and away from the area quickly. There was a park two blocks over and Dean found a deep dip between two hills and sat down. He dry swallowed three different pills from his stash in his pockets and leaned back against the cool soil of the hill. He was trying to formulate a plan as to what to do but kept coming up empty. Sorting the scattered images in his mind was hard, painful work but Dean concentrated hard even though it made his headache worse and his nose started to bleed again. Dean's brain finally started to cooperate and the memories fell into order. He was now starting to remember the fights and the bad feelings that came along with them.  
>'No wonder Sammy didn't want to tell me.'<p>

They had plenty of fights and Dean could now remember standing between them and pleading with them to try to get along for what felt like the millionth time. Dean wiped the blood away from his nose with his sleeve and decided he needed relief no matter what. He grabbed a handful of pills and swallowed them down gagging slightly at not having had any liquid since the night before. Dean battled to sort his thoughts before the pills overtook him and he scrunched down in the narrow valley and drifted off in a restless slumber.

* * *

><p>Sam had the day off work so he checked all the places Dean might have been including the library and the university bookstore which was stretching it a bit but he left word where he could for anyone to call him if they saw his brother. Sam was starting to work himself into a lather, even considering calling his dad when he remembered Dean's SIM card had survived the wreckage of his phone. Sam went out and bought a new phone and plugged the SIM card into the phone then rang the phone company and retrieved Dean's last incoming call. Sam sighed when he realized the call was their dad's number. Damn! His dad had stuck his head in and upset Dean. Just what they needed. They were getting along so well and now John comes along and screws it up.<p>

Sam quickly dialed John's number, not surprised when it went to voice mail. Because he was ready and pissed he ranted for three or four minutes just so John would know what an asshole he was by the time Sam was done with him. Sam felt like throwing his phone as he finished by stating he would ring back when he found his brother and would be blaming him for Dean's condition. Sam stalked around the apartment trying to cool down. He went out in the car this time spreading his search area to include the liquor store that the robbery had taken place in. He found the small park across the way where Dean he told him he had sat and drank his beers and was surprised to see beer cans on the ground around the bench. Sam frowned hoping Dean hadn't been here again. Sam went back to the apartment, hoping Dean would come back but found himself sleeping on the couch again.

* * *

><p>Dean had walked down to the nearest liquor store and bought himself a large bottle of whiskey. Since he had plenty of money in his wallet, he bought the good stuff and tucked it into his jacket. He was beginning to feel like a wino as he sat back in his valley in the park but it had turned out to be a good spot as he had been undisturbed all day. He was finally able to sort out the memories that had flooded back to him in such a huge torrent. Even though he still had a large headache he could feel it starting to abate. One thing that bothered him about his memories was the feeling that he and Sam didn't get on anymore. He didn't have all the memories of the night Sam left but he could play the last fight between Sam and John over and over and unsurprisingly it made him depressed. He washed some more pain pills down with quarter of a bottle of the strong fluid, almost coughing as the alcohol bit down on his throat and numbed his brain. He seemed to have no memories after the fight except Sam walking towards the door. Surely he would have gone after Sam? Or talked to him after? Dean floated down into his drug and alcohol induced sleep with a creased brow.<p>

* * *

><p>Sam woke the next morning to his phone ringing. He almost toppled off the couch in his haste to pick the device up and fumbled the green button before jerking it to his ear.<br>"Hello?" he asked sleepily.  
>"Sam? It's Angela, Dean's physiotherapist?"<br>"Oh Yeah. Hey Angela." Sam started to come awake.  
>"Hi. I'm sorry for calling you Sam. I got your number from Jenny. She didn't want to give it up but I was persistent. Its just Dean didn't come in this morning for his appointment and when she told me he was missing I had to call. Have you heard from him?"<p>

Sam could hear Angela's distress and he smiled to himself at Dean making a friend so quickly but it faded as he recalled what she was calling for.  
>"No I haven't. It's been more than two days and I haven't heard a word. I have searched around but no one has seen him."<br>"It's strange right? You have his car still?"  
>"Yeah."<br>"Well where could he have gone?"  
>"I don't know."<br>"Well obviously, or you would have found him."  
>"Ha, yeah."<br>"Did something upset him, do you think?"  
>Sam sighed before answering.<br>"Yeah I just found out last night that our dad called Dean just before he left. I haven't been able to get in touch with him but I would say they probably had some kind of argument."  
>"Hmm okay. Well I will keep an eye out for him. Let me give you my number to call me if you find him and I will give you a call if I find him. Got a pen?"<p>

Sam took down Angela's phone number and promised to call if something happened. Sam dressed and went out again in the car to look for Dean. Sam made sure he ate breakfast and lunch while he was on the road. He searched all day to no avail.

TBC


	55. Lost and found

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter fifty five Lost and found

Dean spent the day self-medicated, finishing the bottle of whiskey and walking to the closest liquor store in the late afternoon for more. He used the store's rest room while he was there to clean himself up a little. He couldn't believe he had gone three days without changing his clothes or having a shower. He realized as he was walking back to the park that he hadn't eaten in three days either. He didn't miss food at all. He guessed with all the headaches and bloody noses, it had just slipped his mind.

He had been hitching his pants up as he wandered but used the rest room to take his belt off and make two new holes with a knife he always had hidden in his boot. His broken arm was suffering from not being in the sling and his shoulder was hurting as well. It seemed his appointments with Angela had been working after all.

Dean sunk down in his valley once more, ready to sit out another cold night. He knew he would have to get back to the apartment soon. Sam would have to be worried but he wanted to sort his head out first. He was still feeling down and on the cusp of getting the last of his memories back. He would give himself another day then head back. At least for some clean clothes. He really hated being in them for this long. Even living out of a duffle back, he had always prided himself on keeping himself as clean as possible. He had taught Sam the same thing and he was proud of the way his brother had turned out. Dean sat thinking about good memories hoping they would trigger the remaining memories as he sat in a ball to keep warm in the dark.

* * *

><p>Sam looked for Dean again the following morning, then stopped for lunch at home with hope Dean might come back at least for clean clothes but his stuff was untouched so he headed out again. When he was almost out at the liquor store again Sam stopped for gas. As he was filling the tank Sam's eyes roamed in the direction of the liquor store which he could see from the gas station. He was about to look away when a figure at the park across the parking lot caught his eye. Someone sitting on the park bench.<p>

Sam knew by the posture it was Dean. He put the gas pump back on the hook and paid up before driving straight to the park and parking the car close. Sam was sure Dean would get up and run considering how much he had been avoiding him but he sat on the bench barley moving. Sam sighed before getting out of the car. His brother looked a sight. His clothes were fairly dirty for Dean and he was unshaven. Dean's eyes were blearily with lack of sleep even from where Sam started walking towards him. As he closed on him, Sam noticed how thin Dean looked, which was a miracle considering how thin he looked a few days before.  
>'My god he's a skeleton.'<p>

Sam could see Dean's cheekbones sticking out and had to gulp around a sudden lump in his throat as he realized Dean had not been eating. Sam approached the bench slowly and sat down next to Dean as he stopped staring at the liquor store and concentrated on his feet.  
>"Hey Dean. How you feelin' ?" 'Gotta start somewhere.'<br>Dean croaked a short laugh. " Ha. Not so good Sammy."  
>"You look bad Dean. Have you eaten lately?"<br>Dean heard the hurt and distress in Sam voice sitting above the concern and anger. He had hurt Sam without meaning or wanting to, something unforgivable in his book. He blinked back tears as he realized he had been selfish for the first time in his life.  
>"Not so much." Dean took a big breath in then released it. "I'm sorry Sam."<br>"Sorry?"

It was the last thing Sam had expected to hear. Anger and yelling maybe. Stubbornness and arguing, but not apologies.  
>"Yeah, I was an ass. I should have let you know where I was. It was selfish of me to leave without a note or giving you a call."<br>Sam's mouth opened and shut without comment.  
>"Dad called and it seemed to trigger a…a...a dump of memories. It was pretty painful and I went for a walk thinking it would clear but it just got worse."<br>'Holy hell, Dean is offering the truth up without having to pull teeth to get it.' "Dean you should have stayed with me. I could have helped."  
>"I know, I know. I didn't want you have to go through all that... confusion. It was pretty bad. " Dean looked up at Sam for the first time and Sam gasped softly at Dean's bloodshot eyes, thin unshaven face and messy hair. "I haven't been much of a brother have I? I should have stood up for you when you wanted to leave but I wanted you to stay. Family means everything to me and comes before anything so it kind of crushed me when you wanted to leave so easily."<p>

Sam's eyebrows rose to his hair line at hearing Dean talk about his feelings to him. Sam put his arm around Dean softly and talked in an almost whisper in his ear.  
>"You remember?"<br>Dean nodded. "Just to that night. Nothing after that yet."  
>"Well if you remember that you have to remember I wasn't much of a brother either. I yelled and argued with dad a lot but barely talked to my big brother at all. I just assumed you would take dad's side. I should have known better. But I didn't leave easily. I had thought about it for a long time. I'm sorry I never included you."<p>

Dean sighed heavily. "Dad said you made me soft and encouraged me to think for myself and that you always hated that I did as I was told. Am I like that Sammy? I am I just a soldier that can't think for myself?"  
>"What an ass. Sorry Dean, but no you are not 'just a soldier'. You are so much more than that. You have saved dad's and my ass more times than I can remember. You never just blindly follow along. Dad might think that but it's not true. You're a great guy, Dean, not just a great hunter. It shows by how many friends you made since you've been staying with me. You haven't been hunting while you are here you have just been a normal person and you were doing quite well. I'm proud of how well you have done. Do you know Angela called when you missed your appointment?"<br>"Shit I forgot about it."  
>"Don't worry, I'm sure she will be happy to find out you're okay. In fact, all the girls at the store will want to know you're okay."<br>"I must look like a giant jerk. How am I going to go back there? In fact it's probably better if I move on. I got the all clear to start driving from my therapist."  
>"Dean you can't. What about your arm and the rest of your memories?"<br>"Ha. I said that to dad. You know what he said? He said 'Since when did that bother you? I've seen you drive fifty miles with a fifteen inch stake through your leg. You can drive with a broken arm. You know the doctors have no idea what they are talking about."

TBC


	56. Bullet holes and guided tours

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter fifty six Bullet holes and guided tours

Dean's guff impersonation of their father was so good that Sam felt a shiver before having a short laugh.  
>"Dean seriously, you don't have all your memories back so why not stay a few more days. We could talk more about back then and clear the air if you want. You never know, it might help get the rest of your memories back. And I'm sure you weren't given full clearance to drive anyway," Sam challenged.<br>"Short trips only," Dean confessed.  
>"Well I for one would like to at least know why you went in there." Sam pointed to the liquor store with his chin.<br>"Me too. That's why I'm sitting here."  
>"You wanna go in?"<br>Dean looked at Sam for a moment before slowly rising from the seat.  
>"Yeah okay."<br>"You don't seem very sure."

Dean turned back to Sam.  
>"It's alright. I just don't want pain like I've had for the last few days. I know you sometimes call me a masochist but even I have a limit."<br>"You're not a masochist Dean. You just have a high pain threshold. I was joking when I said that. You make the rest of us look like wimps. Anyway, you have me looking after you this time Dean. I mean, it no running off on your own. Where were you anyway? Where did you sleep?"  
>"There is a park two blocks from your place."<br>"That one with the woods around the edge?"  
>"Yeah."<br>"I checked there."  
>"In between two hills, kind of hard to see me."<br>"Damn Dean, did you spend every night there?"  
>"No I spent two nights in the Impala. I was going to come up but it was all a little overwhelming."<br>"So you spent two nights out in the cold?"

Dean had his head down to avoid the scolding so Sam stood and stepped up to Dean holding his arms so he couldn't take off.  
>"Well yeah. Don't worry Sam, I'm okay."<br>"You are not okay or fine Dean despite what you always say. How about we go into the store together then get you back to the apartment for food and a shower?"  
>Dean glanced at the store and Sam saw some apprehension there.<br>"It's alright Dean, I will be there all the way."  
>Sam pulled Dean into his arms and gave him a small hug, wanting to do more but knowing Dean wouldn't like the PDA, particularly in his current condition. Dean gave Sam a soft grin and allowed Sam lead him to the store. Sam noticed Dean limped a fair bit and held his broken arm to his body.<p>

As they entered, Dean felt a tingle up his spine this time. He was definitely remembering something. Sam walked close beside him, offering his silent support. There were two customers at the checkout so they were free to walk to the beer fridge where most of the action had taken place. Sam stopped Dean in front of the door and showed Dean the dents and bullet hole still visible in the door. Dean's breath caught in his throat but no memories came forward, just another headache.  
>"Dean, do you remember anything? This is where you were shot; against this door. You were shielding a clerk."<br>Dean shook his head softly with a faraway look in his eyes like he was trying to remember.

Sam moved him back a bit and pointed to a bleached spot near the checkout. "That's where one of the guys laid after you shot him in the hand." Sam guided Dean to the chip stand and pointed to the floor. "That's where you laid until the paramedics came and got you."  
>Sam looked and sounded sad so Dean took him by the elbow and walked him to the door. Sam looked down at the mat.<br>"You stopped and went for your knife here when you came in. One of the bastards hit you in the head."  
>Dean moved Sam out the door and they walked through the parking lot back to the car.<br>"Sam how do you know what happened in there?"

They had reached the car and Sam held the passenger door open for him but Dean stood firm and didn't get in. Sam sighed seeing Dean wasn't going to move until he got an answer.  
>"Can I tell you in the car? It's not very nice." Sam looked around as if checking for people.<br>"Okay. And thanks for coming and getting me. I would have come back but thanks anyway."  
>"At least I got you before you started smelling like a hobo."<br>Dean looked down embarrassed.  
>"I was just kidding Dean. Hop in and lets get going."<br>Sam didn't speak for some time as he got the car on the road and headed toward the apartment. Dean was beginning to think he wasn't going to speak when Sam fished a bottle of water off the back seat and pulled a bottle of painkillers from the glove box. "You are going to need these Dean."

Dean took two pills and washed them down.  
>"You know the robbery was on the news right?" Sam started.<br>"No, but I do now."  
>"Well I saw it on the news. I was hanging around waiting to see if you would show for my birthday."<br>Sam pulled into the parking lot of the apartment block and turned off the engine. Sam slipped out before saying anything else and was around helping Dean out quickly. As they walked up the stairs Sam continued where he left off.  
>"You were missing for a couple of days before dad called to see if I knew where you were. Dad got a credit card receipt that showed you filling up on the outskirts of town. I went there and worked my way back. The liquor store was on the way here from there. The Impala was outside. Dean are you okay?"<p>

They had entered the apartment and Sam shut the door behind them. Dean was rubbing his forehead with his fingers.  
>"Just a little sore. Keep going."<br>"I went inside and spoke to the manager. He showed me the tape. The owner of the store kept a copy of the tape and relayed it back to the store for me to see."  
>"He showed you the tape of me being shot?" Dean's surprise was as loud as his headache.<br>"Well yeah. And the dick who belted you in the head and broke your arm." Sam's eyes filled with sadness.  
>"Shit Sorry Sammy. I had no idea."<br>Dean reached forward and enveloped Sam in a hug much to his surprise. Sam swore he could feel Dean's bones through his clothes.  
>"Here is me being an ass and you had to see that…that …that…."<br>"Easy Dean, sit down."

Sam tried to lower Dean to the couch but he insisted on the floor because he was dirty.  
>"Breath though it buddy."<br>Dean's nose began to bleed again and Sam snatched up some tissue and held it to Dean's nose while Dean held his head in pain.  
>"Dean? Dean you okay? What can I do?"<br>"I'm all right Sammy," Dean murmured.  
>Sam sat rubbing Dean's back with one hand until his head finally lifted.<p>

TBC


	57. Clean and repair

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy beta on this story

Chapter fifty seven Clean and repair

Sam was concerned that the tissue was soaked with blood but his nose was no longer bleeding so he relaxed a bit.  
>"You think you're up to having a shower? It would do you good I think."<br>Sam helped Dean up and helped him to the shower.  
>"Stay in there as long as you can Dean. Get your face nice and soft and I will help you shave."<p>

Sam left Dean to get undressed and went and called Angela. Angela was happy Dean was okay and wanted to come over and give him a rub straight away but Sam asked if Dean could come over in the morning instead as he was in need of food and a sleep in a proper bed. Angela promised to let the girls at the store know Dean had turned up. Sam was grateful as it meant he could concentrate on Dean for the next couple of hours. Sam took Dean's dirty clothes from the bathroom floor and laid out clean sweats for him to change into. He called for a pizza and ran downstairs and put Dean's clothes in to wash. When he went back upstairs, he made coffee for them just having it done when the water turned off in the bathroom. Sam watched TV for a few minutes wanting to give Dean a chance to dress. When he heard Dean getting out his shaving stuff, he went in and helped him shave. Dean looked a lot better with a wash and the shave revealed more of his tired, thin face.

Sam helped Dean pack his stuff away then led him to the living room chairs for his coffee. The pizza arrived and Sam made sure Dean had as much as he could eat which wasn't enough for Sam but he put the leftovers away so he could make Dean eat again in another couple of hours. Dean explained to Sam what he had been doing over the last few days in more detail when Sam prodded for more information. Dean was uncomfortable and tried to make light of the fact he had survived purely on alcohol for a few days but didn't get the disapproval from Sam he expected but instead he was full of sympathy for him.

Unsurprisingly, Dean fell to sleep on the chair and Sam draped a blanket over him. Sam watched TV keeping an eye on his brother. He woke him after a couple of hours and made him eat and drink even though he was sleepy and sluggish. Sam laid the couch out while Dean was eating and helped him to slide in, despite the early hour. Dean resisted sleep at first but with Sam coxing him, he relaxed down to sleep. While Dean slept, Sam hit the books to make up for the time he had missed while searching for Dean. Sam kept an eye on Dean as he worked and woke him for more food and water before he went to bed for the night. Sam was surprised Dean slept through the night even though he got up himself a few times to check on him.

Sam woke early in the morning, dressed and started making breakfast as quietly as possible. Sam just slipped the bacon in the pan as he stirred the coffee when Dean came around the corner looking tired, sleep ruffled but looking much better.  
>"Hey Dean. How you feelin?"<br>Dean looked down at his feet. "I'm okay. Just…I'm sorry Sammy. I really messed up."  
>"Dean you already apologized. There is nothing to…"<br>"I know I already did but it doesn't seem enough."  
>"How about we concentrate on getting you back on your feet properly? That will be good enough for me."<br>"Well I'm feeling much better. No bloody noses or headaches so you don't have to wor…."  
>"I'm talking about getting some weight back on you and loosening you back up. You have an appointment with Angela this morning and I am personally going to take you there so no arguing."<br>"But…"  
>"No arguing I said."<p>

Sam had his hands on his hips making Dean huff out a laugh at him trying to be tough.  
>"Now sit and eat then we can get going. Have your coffee, the food will be just a minute."<br>Dean sat and drank his coffee, deciding to let Sam have his way. It was the least he could do considering the trouble he had caused his brother. Sam made him dress while he tidied up then took Dean down to Angela's.

Angela let them in to an otherwise dark house, hugging Dean fiercely as soon as the door was locked behind them.  
>"Dean you had me so worried! Never do that again. Now come on I have to fix all the work you have no doubt undone."<br>Sam grinned at Dean being told off like a little kid. To his amazement, Dean muttered a "sorry" as he followed behind the tumultuous woman. Angela ushered Dean through the treatment room door and held Sam back in the hallway.  
>"There is a robe in there Dean, you know the drill."<br>Angela turned to Sam when Dean closed the door.  
>"Is it okay if you come in while I treat him? I don't open for another hour and a half and if people see you from the window they will demand to be let in."<br>Sam had wondered why they were scrunched up against the darkest wall. "As long as Dean's all right with it."

They were silent for another minute then Dean opened the door. As Sam entered, he took in the robe Dean wore with a smile. Dean in a robe. A rare sight indeed. Angela asked Dean if he was okay with Sam in the room and Dean nodded somewhat reluctantly.  
>Angela had Dean on the table quickly as Sam sat in the chair in the corner flicking through an old magazine. A few minutes later he heard a sharp intake of breath from Angela as she worked on her charge. Angela looked at Sam and mouthed <em>'He is so thin'<em> with a worried look.

Sam stood and approached Dean from behind his head. Because of his height, he didn't have to get too close to see Dean's bare torso. He could see Angela was being as gentle as possible because of Dean's diminished form. Sam frowned, concerned at Dean's condition, before moving back to the chair. Sam paid attention when Dean flipped over, getting another view of Dean's front and then the back and not liking what he saw. He was pretty sure Dean had not eaten during the time he was away looking at how thin he was. Sam was determined to make Dean eat as much as possible for the next few days and ensure he was back to a regular weight before he went back to hunting, which Sam knew he would now that he had most of his memory back.

TBC


	58. Hunting by numbers

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter fifty eight Hunting by numbers

On the way home, Sam stopped at a diner and made Dean eat a meal. Dean was puzzled as he insisted they had breakfast and it was too early for lunch. Sam informed Dean that he would be eating five meals a day until he was happy with his weight. Dean saw Sam was very determined looking so he ate a small meal under his watchful eye. Sam continued to keep a close eye on Dean until late that afternoon when he had to head into work. He was going to call in and say he couldn't make it but Dean made him go in, promising to be good and eat his assigned two meals that Sam had already gotten ready. Dean really felt like an early night anyway so he relaxed with a book until it was late enough to go to bed. Dean left food in the oven for Sam and slid into a peaceful sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Sam came home to a quiet, warm apartment. He was surprised that the only light was from the kitchen and looked in to find Dean asleep on the fold out couch. As Sam stepped closer, Dean rolled over and looked up at him.  
>"Sammy?"<br>"Yeah Dean, it's just me. Go back to sleep."  
>Sam rubbed a hand over Dean's hair as he put his head back on the pillow. Dean gave him a long suffering look before closing his eyes to go back to sleep. Sam ate at the kitchen counter, then used the bathroom before slipping into bed. Sam woke in the middle of the night to a voice in the apartment. At first he was confused and on the defensive thinking someone was breaking in, then he recognized the voice and the increased distressed tone got him out of bed to the door before he realized what he was doing.<p>

Dean was on his side grasping his pillow tightly in both arms calling Sam's name. Sam approached Dean from his back as he flicked the lamp on and shook Dean softly. Dean woke quickly almost hitting Sam as he rolled over defensively. Lucky for Sam his eyes opened quickly and Dean saw Sam and immediately stopped struggling.  
>"You okay, Dean?"<br>"Bad dream Sammy."  
>"What was it?"<br>"Frembiar?"  
>"Yeah that was scary. I was what, thirteen? You saved me when it tried to knock me off the cliff."<br>"You were falling. I missed this time."  
>"Glad it was just a dream. Don't worry Dean you always catch me."<p>

Sam ran a hand up Dean's back to comfort him as his nightmare faded and he settled back into reality.  
>"That was one ugly hunt and one ugly creature. I'm glad I got to finish it off after what it did to you and dad."<br>"If I remember right, you filled it so full of holes there was hardly anything to salt and burn. All the while yelling at the dead thing that _'you never ever went after Sammy unless it wanted a slow painful death_.'"  
>Dean looked down shamefacedly."Yeah I did go a bit overboard."<br>"You were great that night Dean. Remember how much dad bitched at you when you drove us back to the motel because of his busted ankle?"  
>"Yeah. Anyway chick flick over, time to get back to bed. Sorry for waking you. I will try to keep it down."<br>"You can't help a nightmare Dean. I'm surprised you haven't had more with all the stuff you've seen."  
>"We can't all chose the path we walk Sammy. Goodnight." And with that he rolled over to go back to sleep.<br>"Goodnight," Sam managed to breathe out before walking back to his room. Dean's last statement had him confused. Was this Dean's shields going back up or him letting his feelings out? Sometimes his brother sounded like Confucius the way he spoke.  
>'Ha, or Yoda. Dean would love that. Yeah, Yoda.'<p>

Sam woke up to the smell of bacon cooking in the apartment. He stumbled out of bed and found Dean cooking breakfast. He flashed Sam a grin as he slid coffee and a plate across to him. Sam thanked him with a grunt not really awake enough to do or say much more. Sam woke up over his breakfast, finishing just in time to see Dean wiping over the kitchen after packing the dishes away. He was wearing a t-shirt over his jeans. Sam could see the bones sticking through in places and the end of his belt hanging down below the T shirt. Sam noticed Dean was using his right hand like he had just before he had it re-broken. It seemed it had healed much better already and Dean had once again adapted to using it. Sam went for a shower after being told not to bother with his one plate as Dean had it covered.

When Sam came out of the shower, Dean was talking on his phone with a pad of paper in front of him. Sam at first thought it was their dad giving Dean some directions for a hunt but when he came up behind him and looked on the pad he saw a complex set of equations. Sam listened in and gleaned it was someone from his school looking for math help. Sam chuckled to himself. He so had ammunition next time Dean called him a geek. Sam heard Dean agree to met said student in the university library in an hour and gathered up his list of things he wanted to look up for a paper.

Dean wore Sam down and drove them over to the library an hour later explaining he had been cleared to drive short distances. Sam was impressed with Dean's control of the car and the fact he drove a little slower being extra careful of his baby. Sam was surprised to find three guys waiting for Dean including, Wes the guy who had asked Dean the physics questions a few days ago. Dean greeted them and Sam saw Wes do a double take and look at Dean closely.  
>'Even an almost stranger can see the difference in a few days.'<br>Once the introductions had been done, Sam hung around for a little while just to see what they wanted Dean for.

Sam soon found himself out of his depth as they sat down and Dean explained Euler's formula and Schrödinger's equation. Sam felt like the dumb one as he stood and walked to the law books on the other side of the library.  
>'Why the hell had Dean hid his intelligence so much? Just so he could stay and look after me?'<br>It seemed a fairly selfless reason to Sam but then again, Dean always put himself last so he should not have been surprised. Sam studied for a few hours, stopping after two and taking Dean a packet of sandwiches and orange juice. Dean looked like a chastised schoolboy as his new friends smiled at Sam bringing his big brother food. Sam stopped working when it was getting close to time for him to go to work.

TBC


	59. Break ins and bad times

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter fifty nine Break ins and bad times

Sam went to find Dean but found him in the driver's seat of the car waiting for him. Sam was happy to see he was drinking a soda as the weather was milder than it had been. Sam found Dean had been waiting an hour but didn't want to disturb his studying. Sam smacked Dean in the arm for not letting him know he was waiting in the warm car for him.

Sam made sure Dean had a good meal before he left for work that afternoon and Dean promised to be down at the store when Sam had his main break. Dean read the last of his books he hadn't finished, used the internet for a while, then wandered down to the bookstore. Dean was a little nervous at being in the store for the first time in a while but saw no judgment in the salesgirl's eyes, just concern. Dean saw Sam on the floor before he even made it to the café. Sam signaled it was almost time for food. Dean swung by to ask him what he wanted to eat and Sam slapped two books in his hand. Dean took them and put them on a table effectively reserving the table for them. He went to the counter and ordered what Sam wanted, his own food and coffee for the both of them. Dean laid the food on the table and picked up the two books. Advanced Math techniques and Algebra 101.

Dean was still grinning at what had to be a joke from Sam when he arrived at the table smiling at the book Dean was holding.  
>'It is nice to see a true smile on Dean's face. I'm glad I thought of it.'<br>"Hey Dean. Thanks for getting this."  
>"No problem. Thanks for the books. Would you believe I have read both?"<br>"Not the algebra book?"  
>"No, but I don't need to read that. Maybe you could."<br>"Very funny." Sam smiled at Dean.  
>"Good to see you smiling too, Sammy."<p>

Dean had obviously picked up that Sam was watching him carefully. Sam put two more books in front of Dean and quickly put the other two back on the shelves. Dean flipped the other two books over and read the titles. Novels, much better. They ate dinner together and talked about general stuff then Sam left to go back to work, asking Dean if he was going to stay and walk home with him in a couple of hours.  
>"I have a couple of things to do before then but how about I get a pizza and some beers to have when you get off? Since you are trying to fatten me up on a million meals a day."<br>"Okay. Are you taking the Impala out?"  
>"For a short drive."<br>"Keep your phone with you and call if you need me. Don't go too far."  
>"No problems." Dean felt slightly guilty about what he was about to do so didn't argue the point.<p>

Dean left Sam to it and walked back to the apartment and slipped into the Impala. He drove to the edge of town to an address he gleaned off the internet earlier. He scoped out the house and found the occupants away. He gained entry via the back door after deadening the alarm. Dean soon found the office a desk with a computer sitting on it. The password was simple; the name of the liquor store and the zip code. Dean got it on the first try. He quickly found a file on the desktop with videos from the shop. He knew the date of the robbery and roughly the time so he had it playing in no time. Dean kept an ear out for the residents while he watched the same tape Sam watched a few weeks ago. Dean's headache returned as he watched and the bloody nose started again. He was careful to keep his sleeve against it to prevent the blood dripping on the desk.

By the time his past self had been stretched of the store, he knew what was going to happen next. All the hunts from between Sam leaving and Sam's birthday came back to him with a rush, then came the personal stuff. He even knew why he went to the liquor store that night. Dean was sure he was getting the memories back because his brain was ready for it now and that if he had watched the tape earlier he would not have got the memories back or it may have caused lot more pain. It felt like the memories he had got back over the last few weeks had prepared him for this moment even if it did hurt like hell. Dean was glad he had worn gloves as he packed up the computer. He pushed his headache back as far as he could and made sure he left no trace of himself behind as he exited the house and walked the block and a half to the Impala.

Dean ordered a pizza from a store on the way home that happened to be by a liquor store and a drug store. He bought painkillers and beer while he waited for the pizza and dry swallowed some pills on his way home. He was back long enough to sit on the couch and drink one beer to master his thoughts and emotions. He could feel the edges of his emotional shields in his mind but didn't know quite how to use them. Yet. He was sure he would get them back remembering it took some time to learn how to use them all those years ago. He remembered the gradual process of building the barriers up over a period of months and years.

Sam came in cheerfully enough sitting beside Dean and taking up a beer and a slice of pizza. Sam watched TV for a few seconds looking at Dean with his peripheral vision. He swung around suddenly during the first commercial break.  
>"Are you feeling okay?"<br>"Yeah why?"  
>Sam reached out and snagged Deans left sleeve with his long fingers.<br>"Blood Dean. Have you been trying to force some memories back?"  
>"Can't get anything by you little brother."<br>"What did you do Dean?"

Dean cleared his throat.  
>"Um went and saw the tape of the robbery."<br>"What? Dean how?"  
>"I broke into the owner's house. The tape was on his computer. I watched it there."<br>"Why didn't you take a copy of it and watch it here?"

Dean shivered visibly.  
>"Eww, no thanks. I'm sure I could only look at the thing once and I would never want to own the thing. And as for taking a copy I didn't know how when I went there."<br>"Oh right. So you remember everything now?"  
>"Kind of, yeah."<br>"What do you mean kind of?"  
>"Some things are a little hazy but it's coming back. I guess I should just give it some time right?"<br>"Smart Dean, but yeah sounds like good advice."  
>"Trust you to try to turn it into some sort of caring, sharing and learning kinda' of thing."<p>

Sam smiled and opened another beer. 'Sounds like the shields are back on full damn it.'  
>"Have you had some pizza?"<br>"Not yet I was waiting for you to come and put your big paws all over it."  
>Dean sounded so much like his old joking and laughing self that Sam had to huff out a laugh as he scooped up more food.<br>"You better hurry up then."

Dean picked up his first slice and opened another beer. They watched TV until midnight, both enjoying time with each other. They went to bed when Dean's yawn was threatening to split his face open. In truth, he had taken more headache tablets and was feeling a bit sleepy but his head was feeling better.

TBC


	60. On the road again

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter sixty On the road again

In the morning Dean had an appointment with Angela so he got up early without bothering Sam. As he drove there, he could feel his emotional shields starting to drop into place. It hadn't taken any ware near as long as it had taken to put up the first time. Angela made an appointment for Dean in two days time when they were finished and he went to the park instead of going back to the apartment. Dean wanted some time to think and as much as he loved his brother, he needed to do it alone. He grabbed a coffee and a paper and sat in the Impala on a shady hill. Dean read the paper as he drank his coffee but then he sat back and relaxed letting his brain sort the memories without pushing too hard.

Dean decided his life once Sam had left was a little embarrassing. No wonder he didn't talk to him much since then. Sam leaving had pretty much shattered his world so he understood that he had fallen apart but done it so his dad and Sam didn't know. His emotional barriers had handled a lot it seemed. Dean didn't know whether it was a good or a bad thing. Obviously it had saved him for a fair bit of pain in his past but he had managed to let Sam in when it mattered. The fight that Sam and John had at the end still troubled him. He now knew Sam still wanted him as a brother but wanted nothing to do with hunting whatsoever. Dean understood why but he was still bothered with him not wanting anything to do with John.

Dean sat for an hour before going back to the apartment. He found Sam studying at the table but by the way he jumped up so quickly told Dean that he was finding it hard to concentrate.  
>"Dean! You okay?"<br>Sam walked up to him quickly bending his neck and bending his knees to looking up into his face.  
>"I'm fine Sammy. I had an appointment remember?"<br>"Yeah, I did but that was two hours ago."  
>"I went for breakfast. Figured you could use the sleep in. You could have called me on the phone you know."<br>"I was just thinking about it actually. Are you sure you are okay?"  
>"Yeah no problem. Thanks for the phone by the way."<br>"No problem. That's good you're feeling better 'cause I need to head over to school soon. I have a new professor who wants to meet his class. It's just for an introductory chat but these things can drag on a bit."  
>"That's cool, I have some stuff to do to. Do you want the car?"<br>"No I'm good. I have enough time to walk and I think it would do me good."  
>"You sure?"<br>"Yeah. Thanks for the offer anyway."  
>Sam gathered his books and patted Dean on the shoulder on the way out the door.<br>"I should be back for lunch but if not, make sure you eat."  
>Dean nodded as Sam headed out.<p>

Dean waited for a few minutes, watching TV then changed his clothes. He went downstairs and drove to an auto store and picked up new oil, spark plugs and filters for the Impala. He had been thinking about getting Sam a gift for looking after him and decided the computer store two doors down from the auto store would provide the opportunity. Dean slipped inside and bought a laptop for Sam with the latest operating system, biggest hard drive and best screen. It was the most expensive one in the store but Dean didn't mind as his brother was worth it and deserved something a little special. It came with a carrying case and Dean would have to pick it up the next morning once they had loaded up the extra programs Dean had paid for. He felt Sam would use it mainly for assignments and research so he was having office programs and internet put on it.

That set up, Dean drove back to Sam's place and parked on the grass under a tree and set to work. It didn't take long for him to get good use of his broken arm. It seemed to be healing a lot better than it had before. So much so, Dean had to wonder what was holding him here. He had his memory back, be it a little jumbled, his legs and back felt better as long as he didn't overwork them, and his arm was feeling pretty good even though he knew it would have to stay in the cast a few weeks more. He thought he might be dragging his feet a little due to having to leave Sam again. He was hoping it would go a little better than the last time. He decided to give Sam a couple more days then hit the road.

They had mended some serious fences while he had been here and he didn't want to waste the time they had spent putting their relationship back together. He wanted to leave with Sam knowing he could call on Dean if he needed to.

The morning turned to afternoon and Dean toiled away, getting a lot done to get the car ready for getting back on the road for the long haul. He even cleaned out the weapons cache in the false bottom of the trunk, slipping into the back seat to clean the weapons without being seen. He was just packing up and inflating the tires up to the ideal pressure with the small portable compressor when Sam walked across the lawn to him with an armful of books.  
>"Hey Dean."<p>

Sam was a bit sad to see Dean doing such a thorough job with the car. It meant he would be moving on soon. Sam was extremely happy to have had the time he had with his brother. He really felt like he had reconnected and didn't want it to end so quickly. He always knew it would and he was kidding himself thinking otherwise but he could hope. 'I'm going to make him promise to visit me as often as he can when he leaves.'  
>"Hey Sammy. Your new teacher looks like a slave driver."<br>Dean indicated the books with a nod and a smile.  
>"Huh, yeah. Sorry about being so late. I went to the bookstore and got his recommended books, thanks to you." Sam smiled. "Anyway I'm gonna do a laundry run. I will grab yours as well. Hey did you eat?"<br>Sam was talking quickly as he started walking to the building so it was easy to deflect the question away.  
>"You wanna' slow down a bit Sammy before you fall on your ass?"<br>Just as Dean said that, Sam went to step down the step to the pavement and stumbled, almost going down. He righted himself with a laugh shaking his head as he made his way upstairs.

Dean knew he was slipping back into to old habits by not eating enough but he just hadn't been in the mood lately and thinking about hitting the road had made him a little depressed much like it had when Sam had left them last year. Dean vowed to look after himself when he was back on the road because he didn't like Sam being disappointed again. When Dean joined Sam upstairs an hour later, he found he had changed again and was taking notes at the table.

He looked up as Dean came in and watched him go through his bag for a clean shirt before he spoke up.  
>"What are you up to Dean?"<br>"Just cleaning up, what about you?"  
>"Just taking some notes before I forget what the professor told us. We were not allowed to take them while he talked believe it or not. Then I'm off to work. Tania has that bug and I'm covering her shift. Will you be all right? "<br>"Yeah, Yeah. Go ahead."  
>"Can you come down at six for dinner?"<p>

Dean looked like he was going to refuse but then nodded slowly.  
>"You sure? You don't look as though you want to."<br>"Just thought you would have had enough of me by now."  
>"No way Dean. I like it when you come down, that's why I invited you silly."<br>"Silly? What are you five? Alright I can if you really want me to."

TBC


	61. Preparation time

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter sixty one Preparation time

Sam finished his notes then went off to work. Dean had very little to do now to get ready to get going, except call his dad and find out where he wanted him. A job for tomorrow, he decided. He packed up as much gear as he could and went down to finish the laundry Sam had put on. When he had it dried and folded in his fashion, he packed it away. He read for a while then watched some TV. Dean went down to the bookstore at six and had dinner with Sam. He kept it short and hardly talked to anyone at the store, trying to wind up his friendships since he would be leaving soon.

He returned to Sam's apartment with a new book Sam had recommended. He unfolded the bed and lay down to read for a while. After an hour he lay and concentrated on strengthening his shields. Dean felt along the edges and built them up while staring up at the ceiling. If anyone could have seen him, they would have thought he was asleep with his eyes open so concentrated was his breathing and eyes. Dean stayed that way for two hours then took some painkillers before reading some more. When the pain had backed off, he flicked off the lamp and drifted off to sleep.

Dean woke the next morning to find a note from Sam sitting on the kitchen counter. Sam had gone out to get coffee with a friend and would be back at lunchtime. Dean saw Sam's bed was messed up from him sleeping and was surprised he had slept through Sam returning and going out again. Dean put on sweats and walked down to the local football field. He walked a few laps before starting a slow jog. He didn't usually jog without John pushing him but he felt he should prove to himself he was ready. He slowly ramped up the pace feeling a little weak when he was at a flat out sprint. He knew it was from lack of food and his back still being a little sore. Dean walked back to the apartment and stretched out before taking a shower. When he came out Sam was studying at the table. Sam got up and wordlessly passed Dean a plate of sandwiches.

Dean looked for Sam's but saw an empty plate on the table by his elbow. Dean nodded and dug in, the run and lack of breakfast making him hungry for a change. Sam seemed happy to see him eating and Dean got the feeling Sam knew he was skipping the odd meal again. After lunch, Dean decided to call his father but felt he should do it away from Sam, should he think he was slinking back to their father or an argument might break out.

When Dean left for his walk, Sam checked Dean's bag and the Impala and saw that he was packed to get back on the road. Sam sighed then decided to go to the supermarket and get a few things for him. Sam had time to pack his purchases away in the trunk of the Impala and the fridge before changing for work and wandering down to the store.

* * *

><p>Dean had walked pretty far while he built up the courage to talk to his dad. He was surprised to find himself at the park across from the liquor store where he sat at the bench and spoke to John. He was not surprised however to get John's voicemail and left a message that he was ready to get back on the road. He didn't apologize for his recent behavior when John had called. It didn't matter to Dean that he had been a bit of a baby when his dad had wanted him to get back on the road. Dean still felt John had acted like an ass towards both of his sons and although nothing would be said when they met up again, Dean felt sure their relationship had changed. Dean hoped it would be for the best and his dad would ask him to do things in future rather than demand. One could hope.<p>

Dean walked across to the store and walked around inside slowly. The memories from the robbery were in the front of his mind as he looked around but he had his shields to keep them from overwhelming him. They did a good job and Dean was able to do what he had planned to do when he went there all those nights ago before walking slowly back to Sam's apartment.

On the way, Dean stopped by the computer store and picked up the laptop which was ready and waiting. When he got to the apartment, Sam had already left for work. Dean had decided to hit the road the next day as he had received a text from John with coordinates on the way back to the apartment. He didn't usually do it like that but Dean assumed it was because he was still mad at him. Dean read his last book and placed it on the pile in Sam's room before walking down to the bookstore. Dean felt this would be his last night with Sam so dinner together would be a good thing.

Sam was very happy to see Dean as he thought he just may well skip town without saying goodbye. It was clear to Sam over dinner that Dean was hanging around at least until morning so he gave him one more book as a parting gift. _'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's stone,_' which Dean quickly dismissed as a kids book but Sam convinced him a lot of adults had read it and he had already bought it for him. Dean got the feeling Sam knew he was going to go and was making it a parting gift so took the book gratefully.

Dean made a point of seeing Jenny and a couple of the other girls when Sam went back through the stockroom doors. He didn't say goodbye, but gave them the feeling he would not be back for a while. Dean had gone to bed when Sam returned home, finding a warm cheese sandwich waiting for him.

TBC


	62. Long goodbyes

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter sixty two Long goodbyes

The next morning, Dean went to his last appointment with Angela. He didn't say goodbye or let her know he was going away but didn't make a new appointment, telling her he would call her. He just might too, but from a few hundred miles away in a few days. He felt he should thank her for all her help even if his feelings were pushed down deep. He got a bad taste in his mouth at thinking of never letting her know he had gone away. He wondered if his shields would ever be as strong as they were before the shooting. He decided even if they weren't, maybe they were better this way sometimes. A little compassion never hurt and he didn't want to hurt Angela, Jenny or Sam as they were good friends when he had no others.

Sam was gone from the apartment when he returned which didn't surprise him since he had lingered at the drugstore buying things for his first aid kits and a car magazine to look at when the TV in his first motel back would get one fuzzy channel as they sometimes did. He still had the small pile of books in the green ribbon tied up in a bundle tucked away in the trunk. He was going to save them for the ideal time. Like the first time his dad left him alone to finsh up a hunt. He went for another run and found a new note when he came back. It seemed Sam was fairly busy getting ready for school which was to start again the following week. Dean thought it was a good thing Sam would be busy when he took off.

Dean showered, then started to read his new book Sam had given him as he picked at a cold chicken sandwich Sam had left and found the story was okay. He felt some of it appealed to his weird sense of humor. He saw from the front of the book there were a few others written and thought he might have to look into it. With all the strange creatures he had seen, he didn't think wizards were such a large stretch. Dean looked up the coordinates his dad had sent him on Sam's old computer, and then found a fairly big sporting goods store in the area. His first hunt back looked to be a black dog but he always packed heavy with no Intel and he was low on ammo. The store was an hour's drive so far enough away from Sam not to get him in trouble. He would be using a fake ID. He drove over and brought a good supply of empty shotgun shells, as his had split enough to warrant replacing. He bought a good supply of nine millimeter and point forty five rounds so he could change out the projectiles with silver. It was a bit lazy, but a fast and effective way to get lots of ammo together quickly.

Dean drove to a bulk supermarket and bought two large bags of salt, a slab of water bottles, batteries for his flashlights, a bag of rags and a cache of snacks to keep him going in case he forgot to eat. Dean saw a fairly big pawnbroker on the way back to Sam's apartment and stopped in for a look. Dean found a ugly silver dagger that was very high in pure silver and a few chunky necklaces that were the real thing. As Dean haggled for a good price, the salesman produced a tray of pure silver ingots he had been unable to move and was offering them at a reasonable price. Dean took all the silver the guy could produce as well as a brass dagger with a pentagram etched into it. He had no idea on this particular weapon but there were several creatures that had a severe dislike to brass.

At the apartment, Dean found another note and food wrapped in foil in the fridge. Sam had gone to work all but saying good bye in his note. It strengthened Dean's decision to say goodbye to his brother in person. Dean made bullets in Sam's kitchen, being very careful to clean up properly and packing them all away. He made over four hundred salt shells in very short order with the TV playing in the background. Dean packed everything away in the trunk, finding Sam had already filled his three first aid kits to the brim. He stored his now extra supplies behind the wheel arch for later use. One thing about his line of work was that they would always come in handy. Once Dean had everything fully packed up, besides his book and two other items, he went upstairs to wait for Sam.

* * *

><p>Sam was distracted on the shop floor as he put away books. He was looking for Dean but still couldn't shake the feeling Dean had taken off without saying goodbye. Sam had decided if Dean hadn't shown up by his dinner break he had already gone. He sat alone with a heavy heart eating his dinner in the café. Due to his distraction, Angela had to call his name twice to get his attention two hours later as he built a new display.<br>"Hey Sam."  
>"Hey Ang. How are you?"<br>"Okay Sam. I just wanted to ask you a quick question about Dean."  
>"Sure. I'm due for a break now, let's go sit down."<p>

Sam bought them both coffee and they sat at a table away from the two other occupied tables. Angela didn't even take a sip before asking her first question.  
>"Can I just ask if Dean is okay?"<br>'Wow straight to business with this one. I told Dean he had a fan.'  
>"What do you mean?"<br>"Well he has been getting more and more distant and he still hasn't put much weight back on. I didn't want to overstep my bounds by asking about it. Last week might have been alright but this morning it felt like there had been a shift in him and I was worried about upsetting him. Don't get me wrong, he is still a lovely guy but I'm just worried about him."  
>'Lovely guy, Dean would freak.' "It's just…Dean is being called back to work. He isn't great at goodbyes so he tends to just leave. It's nothing to do with you."<br>"I understand that but why the sudden change in demeanor?"  
>Sam sighed deeply. "Before his accident, Dean had this wall like a shield he could use to keep out the crap and keep going."<br>Angela frowned but looked attentive.  
>"Did Dean ever mention his family at all?"<p>

Sam knew Dean had told Angela he was an exterminator so Sam couldn't talk about what Dean did for a living.  
>"Besides how proud he is of you, only a little. It sounds very complicated and messy."<br>"That it is. Well when Dean was young he built these… I don't know how they work that well but they are like a place he can shove those bad memories and pretend they don't exist. He tends to show the world the face he thinks they want to see. He lost that ability with the head injury he got in the robbery. That ability appears to be coming back."  
>"I think my shrink would call it a safe box. Yeah, I'm in therapy. Aren't we all? Okay, well I understand. If you see him or hear from him, wish him all the best. I for one was looking forward to getting to know him better. I guess I left my run too late."<br>Angela blushed, realizing how pathetic she must sound.  
>"It's okay. Dean has a way of getting under your skin and making you want to help him. I know how you feel." Sam came to her rescue. "I will let him know you said goodbye."<br>"Thanks Sam. I will see you around."

TBConcluded

* * *

><p>An apt title for the second last chapter- I just wanted to thank all those wonderful reviewers who tried to keep up with the frequent updates. Thanks -LeighAnnWallace, jensengirl4eva, babyreaper , d767468 , kissacazador, and Rhondeez for keeping me on my toes and asking for more. I have tried to reply to everyone but if I have missed you thank you anyway.<p>

~ Gett


	63. Bulletproof heart

Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Many thanks to rascalflattsgurl43 for the speedy and accurate beta on this story

Chapter sixty three Bulletproof heart

Angela left with her paper coffee cup, still sporting flaming red cheeks. Sam went back to work but was continually distracted looking for Dean with a last man's hope. Jenny had observed him with sympathy all night, having a feeling Dean might be on his way from what he didn't say the night before. She let Sam go forty minutes early telling him to say goodbye to Dean from them if he caught up with him. Sam was surprised Jenny knew but grateful enough to smile as he grabbed his jacket and ran all the way home.

Sam skidded to a stop when he saw the Impala still parked in the drive. He put his hand on his knees and laughed at himself as he fought for breath. When his breath was sitting better in his chest, he went upstairs to find the main room in darkness except for the lamp which seemed to be on the floor casting a muted moody light. Sam saw Dean sitting on the couch with his feet on the coffee table and a book in his lap. Sam saw by Dean's feet on the table was an expensive looking bottle of whiskey and two expensive glasses he hadn't seen before. Dean dropped the book on the couch by his hip as Sam moved around to a chair and dragged it around so he was facing Dean, their knees almost touching.

Sam saw the stillness on Dean's face and the steel in his eyes.  
>"Hey Sammy. How was work?"<br>"Okay Dean."  
>"You're early," Dean observed.<br>"I ran all the way home. I was worried you would be gone. You are leaving right?"  
>Dean smiled slowly. "Yeah Sammy it's time to go. But first," Dean slid a thin rectangle leather bag out from beside his chair and placed it on Sam's knees, "this is for you. You can't refuse it as it's paid for in cash."<p>

Sam opened the bag slowly blinking in surprise when the laptop slipped out. Sam's mouth dropped open as he opened the lid and slid his fingers across the plastic covered keys.  
>"Holy shit Dean. This is amazing, but I can't. It still has the plastic on it."<br>"Yeah new things come like that. Yes, you can take it. Like I said, it's paid for. Don't tell me you couldn't use it. It has the latest operating system and something called office I was assured you geeky types need."  
>"Careful on calling me a geek, Professor Dean."<br>"Very funny Sammy."

Sam slid the laptop to the table and stood and gave Dean an awkward hug since Dean was still sitting.  
>"Thanks Dean, this is fantastic. You shouldn't have but I love it."<br>"Of course you do. The cords and cables are in the side pocket."  
>"Okay. I appreciate it. Are you sure you're all right to go? I don't mind if you want to stay."<br>"Yes Sam. I'm fully recovered which means I remember what I went into the store for that night."  
>Dean leaned forward and twisted the lid easily off the bottle and quarter filled both glasses.<br>'He obviously had this all prepared and ready,' Sam thought.

Dean handed Sam a glass as he raised his own.  
>"A toast?" Dean asked.<br>Sam nodded.  
>"To family: always there when you need them."<br>Dean's voice was gruff and emotion filled and Sam knew he was talking about him rather than John. Sam took a very small sip at the smooth liquid.  
>"So the walls are back in place? All Dean's problems locked away again?"<p>

Sam thought Dean might get angry or just walk out at his harshly spoken words but to his great surprise Dean smiled that slow sad smile of his.  
>"And a bulletproof heart to boot." Dean seemed almost regretful.<br>Sam sighed. He had hoped Dean would be a little more open with him after the last few weeks. He took a bigger sip of the best tasting whiskey he had ever had before letting his hands fall between his knees.  
>"Does this mean you won't be back?"<p>

Dean appeared to search his face before replying. "It wouldn't be a very good idea Sammy."  
>"But I would love to see you again."<br>"I know but you left dad and me to get away from hunting and when you see me it just brings it back again so the best thing for me to do for you as a big brother would be to not come back. Leave you in peace."  
>"But Dean…"<br>"I know Sammy. It's hard. I will text you and come see if you are okay but I won't make contact. It just isn't fair of me. You want your life, I understand."

Dean felt tears at the back of his eyes and stood to leave. Sam stood and picked up the whiskey bottle trying to give it to Dean.  
>"That's for you Sammy didn't you hear me. I went in the store for that bottle of whiskey. We had our drink together and now the rest is for you. You know special occasions. God forbid one day you get yourself a girlfriend."<br>Sam smiled at Dean making him feel better with humor as in the old days. One things for sure: he was going to miss his brother. Sam went to the fridge and pulled out the packet of food he had made up and handed it to Dean.  
>"For the road big brother." Sam's voice was quivering with emotion.<br>"Thanks little brother." Dean patted Sam on the shoulder roughly.

Dean walked to the door and Sam followed.  
>"Thanks Sammy, really, you did a great job getting me back on my feet and don't worry I wont let dad off the hook easily. I will give him a dose of Sammy pissed off, should be enough to scar him for life."<br>"Jerk!"  
>"Bitch!"<br>"Seriously Dean, look after yourself."  
>Dean leaned forward and placed a hand on Sam's shoulder and gave it a much gentler squeeze.<br>"You too, Sammy."  
>Sam's mouth opened in surprise then almost hit the ground as Dean smiled his huge cheeky grin at him. He had been missing it so much it hit him like a freight train between the eyes. Dean took advantage of Sam's momentary confusion to pull him into a quick hug.<p>

With a whispered '_thanks'_ in Sam's ear Dean squeezed Sam tight for a moment then stepped back moving through the open doorway and out of Sam's life.

The End.

* * *

><p>Yeah its all over! Sixty three chapters in just over a month was fairly frantic but fun. Sorry for everyone who wanted it to continue. For those of you playing at home every chapter was a book title or song lyrics.<br>Thanks to everyone who read the story. I would be happy to hear what everyone thought even if you havent reviewed before.

There are more storys in the works as well -Gett


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